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Funny satire stories about horse meat

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Funny story:  Pig meat found in hot cross buns

Pig meat found in hot cross buns

A spokesman for Britain's leading bakery chain admitted that pigmeat was used in millions of hot cross buns on sale this weekend. Most of the major supermarkets have this product on their shelves, discounted at one pound per bun. The chief Rabbi i...
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Funny story:  Junkie Turkeys found on Norfolk farm

Junkie Turkeys found on Norfolk farm

A large turkey farm in Norfolk has been closed after traces of methadone were found in the turkey. "We were checking the turkeys for horse meat contamination," said Fisheries and Farming minister, James Bond. "Having checked all the foods in freez...
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Funny story:  French horse burgers contained 20% turkey twizzler meat, which contained 100% horse meat.

French horse burgers contained 20% turkey twizzler meat, which contained 100% horse meat.

It's been a frantic 24 hours. First, the ironic twist of fate when French horse burgers were found to contain 20% of that great British food, the turkey twizzler. Confusion then reigned after it was found the turkey twizzlers contained up to 100%...
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Funny story:  Horse meat strikes a big target

Horse meat strikes a big target

London, England. Her Majesty The Queen has been admitted to hospital after eating dodgy meatballs that were later verified as being made from horse meat. Doctors claimed that Her Maj microwaved the suspect foods before consumption and ate them with a...
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Funny story:  England's Burrito Bell's Introduces The Silver Saddle Supreme

England's Burrito Bell's Introduces The Silver Saddle Supreme

LONDON - Britain's prestigious consumer watchdog agency known as BBB for Britain's Burger Bureau has just released a news bulletin stating that traces of horse DNA have now been found in some of Burrito Bell's menu items. A representative for Engl...
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Funny story:  £1 fish drawn into horse-meat scandal

£1 fish drawn into horse-meat scandal

The £1 fish man was today drawn into the horse-meat scandal when a disgruntled colleague on a neighbouring stall in Green street claimed the fish he was selling were actually horses. The colleague who asked not to be named claimed that the only re...
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Funny story:  New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

A new Chocolate bar was launched today by Knestles named HORSE DELIGHT. It is the product of years of research into the eating habits of both humans and horses. Chief Executive of Knestles, Toby Barker, said that HORSE DELIGHT would be the the 'bi...
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Funny story:  HOSGATE - the true scandal of the Coalition cover-up

HOSGATE - the true scandal of the Coalition cover-up

News is breaking that the Health Secretary has been arrested after an undercover operation by Staffordshire Police working with the Met and Interpol. It has been alleged that recent stories regarding horsemeat in the foodchain and falling asteroids h...
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Funny story:  Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Now horse meat found in cannibal meals

Supermarket giant Tesdabury's has become the latest store caught up in the horse meat scandal after allegations that horse meat has been found in its "Cannibal Range" of ready meals. A clearly shaken company spokesperson Sue Perior admitted "This...
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Funny story:  Supermarket announces new Chimæra food scandal range

Supermarket announces new Chimæra food scandal range

After it was announced this week that luxury supermarket chain Waitrose had joined the latest trend for 'posessed foods', with pork masquerading as beef, Sparks & Mencer have risen to the challenge. Their new ' Chimæra' (or Chimera) range of p...
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Funny story:  Traces of Cameron found in Brooks

Traces of Cameron found in Brooks

Hot on the heels of the news of horse in beef burgers, horse in crab sticks, horse in sore throat lozenges and horse in lasagne, it now turns out that there are traces of David Cameron in Rebekah Brooks. "We were as shocked as anybody," said lead...
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Funny story:  Brooks facing questions over horse meat

Brooks facing questions over horse meat

Former News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks is to be questioned by the police over allegations that she disposed of a former police horse that she borrowed in some beef burgers. The Horse which was ridden by David Cameron while in the...
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Funny story:  Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

A horse has been found with 60% beef in it. Which technically makes it a cow but the animal is very confused. It has raised concern over how many other horses are infact cows and therefore potentially contaminating our favourite foods. Consume...
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Funny story:  Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Continued Failure To Vet Beef Supplies Would Result In Flogging A Dead Horse, Says Food Industry

Tesco, Findus, Aldi and other food suppliers named in the recent horsemeat revelations, today formed a consortium to try to re-establish confidence in their beef products, and to put the meat-contamination scandal behind them. 'We do not wish to b...
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Funny story:  Traces of jockeys found in horse burgers

Traces of jockeys found in horse burgers

The Food Standard Agency have revealed that traces of jockey DNA have been found in Supermarket Value Horse Burgers, to the shock of meat industry experts and consumers alike. Food tester Fatima Eton found the DNA, and claimed that it could not easil...
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Funny story:  Now saddle of lamb removed from butchers' shelves

Now saddle of lamb removed from butchers' shelves

London - The horse flesh contamination scandal saw a new twist today as the EU ordered a raft of emergency foodstuff bans. From midnight tonight saddle of lamb is banned from all sales outlets along with 'polluted' items on greengrocery shelves.
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Funny story:  Man eats leather thong

Man eats leather thong

A 50-year-old man was admitted to hospital after eating a leather thong in a vain attempt to cure stomach ache. Vegetarian Albert Tewsum, from Gateshead, had been suffering with severe tummy trouble for several days, after unknowingly eating some...
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Funny story:  Horseburgers are great for sexy studs!

Horseburgers are great for sexy studs!

The recent "horseburger scandal" "sweep-steaking" Britain is not quite as bad as it seems because hamburgers make people fat and horsemeat burgers make them thin. Nutritional experts have discovered that males and females who have been eating the...
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