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Funny satire stories about heart attack

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Daily Mail reader has heart attack arguing on a forum

Funny story: Daily Mail reader has heart attack arguing on a forum

Daily Mail reader, Carl White, had a heart attack last night while arguing his position on a forum when he came up against people with facts. "Normally," said wife of fifteen years, Brenda White, "our Carl would stick to the comments section on th...

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Police Question Nina Dobrev About Dead Man!

Funny story: Police Question Nina Dobrev About Dead Man!

After a late night party with some friends actress Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries) came home, got her flashlight from her car as she saw that her light was out by the door and the streetlight didn't show enough light for her to unlock her door.

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Wife Wanting A Baby Making Husband Work Hard At It

Funny story: Wife Wanting A Baby Making Husband Work Hard At It

Sandy Breatcher of Greenville, Illinois says that she wants her and her husband, Roger, to have a baby so they must work at it a lot! Meanwhile a tired, hollow-eyed Roger says that he too wants them to have a baby but trying 3-4 times a day can re...

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New Zealand women dies after being a Cola-aholic!

Funny story: New Zealand women dies after being a Cola-aholic!

Drinking too much of a well known fizzy, dark brown drink, not Guiness, can kill you but only if you consume ten buckets a day as a women did in New Zealand. The reason why she drunk so much of the stuff was very simple; New Zealand is the most bo...

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Cardiac arrest? There's an app for that

Funny story: Cardiac arrest? There's an app for that

One of the major causes of death among men aged between below twenty-five and above eighty-two is cardiac arrest, more commonly known as a heart attack. Nearly one in every one people will at some point in their lives, die of a stopped heart. With...

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Soccer star Fabrice Muamba's miracle recovery is due to his belief in Voodoo!

Funny story: Soccer star Fabrice Muamba's miracle recovery is due to his belief in Voodoo!

After suffering a horrendous heart-attack during the footy match between Tottenham and Bolton last weekend the soccer-star, Fabrice Muamba, is now gladly recovering. It seems he was clinically dead for 78 minutes and it is a miracle that he is now r...

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73-Year-Old Newspaper Editor Dies After Sex With 22-Year-Old

Funny story: 73-Year-Old Newspaper Editor Dies After Sex With 22-Year-Old

The editor of the Oregonian Organ's Editorial Pages for many years has died of cardiac arrest following having sex with a young lady he has apparently been helping through college for some time now. The young lady told police officers that Dwight...

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U.S. Epidemic of Restaurants Living Up To Their Name

Funny story: U.S. Epidemic of Restaurants Living Up To Their Name

People all over the country are exercising caution before selecting a destination for an evenings dinner after a man's heart attack at The Heart Attack Grill starts a pandemic of restaurants living up to their names. Reports from all over the countr...

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Man Dies After 'Wrong Version' Song Resuscitation

Funny story: Man Dies After 'Wrong Version' Song Resuscitation

Tragedy struck today on the streets of London, after an American tourist suffered a heart attack and was then finished off by a well meaning teenager trying to administer first aid. The victim, Barry Goldfinch, 47, had complained of feeling unwell...

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NBC'S "Biggest Loser" celebrates 180th show without a heart attack

The hit TV show "The Biggest Loser" recently passed a milestone by airing it's 180th episode with no fatal incidents. A spokesman for the show said he "was sure someone would have had a stroke or heart attack by now, or just strangled one of th...

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Canadian Heart Association Pleads for Stanley Cup Win

Funny story: Canadian Heart Association Pleads for Stanley Cup Win

Several sitting board members of the Canadian Heart Association well aware of increased incidents of heart attack during highly stressful events, pleads with the NHL Officials Association to make the Stanley Cup Finals "Canadian Fair". Taking the...

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Cryanair charge for use of resuscitation paddles

Funny story: Cryanair charge for use of resuscitation paddles

Under fire budget airline, Cryanair, have come under more criticism after a passenger nearly died on their flight back from (an airport within seventy miles of) Alicante. Paul Dearheart, 42, was travelling alone back from visiting relatives in Spa...

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Heart Attack Rates Up In England, U.S.

Funny story: Heart Attack Rates Up In England, U.S.

For some reason, the World Health Organization has checked and rechecked their numbers and they have concluded that England has the highest percentage of heart attack victims in the world with the United States coming in a close second. "So far we...

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Clinton Tests New Stint with Chili Dogs

Funny story: Clinton Tests New Stint with Chili Dogs

Confident in his doctor's skills and in the stint technology used to strengthen the walls of his arteries, Bill Clinton reportedly made an unscheduled stop on his way home from the hospital, for a three-pack chili dog combo and a side of cheese fries...

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Non-Smokers Reap Benefits of Smoking Ban, Spoofer Kicks the Habit

Funny story: Non-Smokers Reap Benefits of Smoking Ban, Spoofer Kicks the Habit

TARLBORO COUNTRY, U.S.A. - Just how harmful is secondhand smoke? This has been one of the most lop-sided public health debates of the early 21st century, but a new study suggests that passing laws to curb secondhand smoke can yield a big payoff - a d...

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Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

Funny story: Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

ORANGE GLO, FL - Superstar of the infomercial world Billy Mays was pronounced dead this morning at his home in Orange Glo, Florida. The shouting spokesman, 50, was reportedly trying to remove a particularly stubborn stain from his carpet when he s...

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Santa suffers heart attack, lightens mood before surgery

Funny story: Santa suffers heart attack, lightens mood before surgery

ANCHORAGE, AK - Saint Nicholas suffered a massive coronary thrombosis near the end of a strenuous delivery schedule this Christmas. Ignoring his doctor's repeated advice to watch his diet, the jolly old elf loaded up on milk and cookies while en rou...

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Heart attack plan 'to save mone....erm...lives'

Funny story: Heart attack plan 'to save mone....erm...lives'

The UK government announced via the medium of dance today that they are going to introduce a 'cold standard' of treatment in London for heart attack patients. 'We've given up really' said Health Minister Lord Arid Carzi. "In London alone, a 5% c...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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