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Funny satire stories about hands

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Funny story:  People who moisturise advised to use both hands

People who moisturise advised to use both hands

Doctor and Gambol, the UK's largest manufacturer of non-edible creams, have announced the results of a study into moisturising that has come up with some remarkable conclusions. "We discovered that people tend to moisturise using just their writin...
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Funny story:  The Hams of Death - A Christmas Story

The Hams of Death - A Christmas Story

The thin man with bruised knuckles had sprawled out across a vintage creaky green and yellow plaid La-Z-Boy with one knee slightly bent so his bare feet could avail themselves of every last square inch of fully extended footrest. Lounging in a wife beater tee and duck patterned boxers, the mid life crisis poster child was nothing more than an unlikely American tourist turned writer who found hims...
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Funny story:  Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

A Spanish woman has been acquitted by a Spanish court of murdering her husband on the grounds of recently discovering that she has hands. Carla Santiago (32, Spanish, has hands) had described Dr Sanchez Moldova as her guardian angel for identifyi...
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Funny story:  Cannibal Inadvertently Eats Own Hand

Cannibal Inadvertently Eats Own Hand

A cannibal has today inadvertently, and inappropriately, eaten his own left hand. Edgar Triggs was in court, over the alledged offence of consuming his neighbour Cyril Betts, 84, for letting his cat defecate in the Oxford man's garden, when the in...
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Funny story:  More Serious Accident Lands Tiger Woods Back in Hospital

More Serious Accident Lands Tiger Woods Back in Hospital

ORLANDO, Florida - Florida highway patrol officers want to talk to golfer Tiger Woods more than ever after a fall from a trellis at his home landed him right back in the hospital early Sunday morning, this time with more serious injuries, said offici...
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Funny story:  Artificial Wank Hand Created In Italy

Artificial Wank Hand Created In Italy

Italian scientists believe that they have successfully created the first ever artificial wank hand. Previous attempts led to users complaining of a lack of feeling. Now Professor Luigi Crackoneoffi says such problems are a thing of the past. "We have...
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Funny story:  Northerners More Dirty

Northerners More Dirty

Scabies, England - New research has found that northerners are dirtier than southerners. The study, conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, says the further north people live, the less likely they are to wash their hands afte...
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Funny story:  Purrell Unvails Hand Epidermal Incinerator

Purrell Unvails Hand Epidermal Incinerator

The Purrell company today introduced the latest weapon in their war against hand bacteria.
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Funny story:  Kate Bosworth is a Prisoner

Kate Bosworth is a Prisoner

Kate Bosworth is a prisoner. It's a guilded cage for sure, but she's a prisoner. The starlet of Blue Crush has become a pawn in the hands of a mysterious and powerful woman. That woman by the name of Robin Baum (know as Darth Baum to many) has her under her thumb and forces her to portray a certain image. We got a lot of anonymous tips from people who work and know Kate, however, they refu...
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Funny story:  James Dean's hands used as door stop

James Dean's hands used as door stop

The severed hands of deceased movie star James Dean, were being using as a door stop in an Arizona diner.
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Funny story:  Hungry Bauer orders a sandwich

Hungry Bauer orders a sandwich

7:43:00 AM Jack Bauer's hands grip the wheel of the Escalade, white knuckles steering the way toward CTU. "The Mark Has Been Mad...
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Funny story:  Ruth Madoc windscreen sticker blamed for sharp rise in car accidents.

Ruth Madoc windscreen sticker blamed for sharp rise in car accidents.

A novelty car sticker depicting the popular TV actress Ruth Madoc has been blamed for a 500% increase in road traffic accidents. The sticker shows the 'Hi-de-hi' star with her hands outstretched and a look of surprise on her face, as if a ra...
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Funny story:  New Service available:  Rent-A-Pizza!

New Service available: Rent-A-Pizza!

A new service has become available worldwide allowing pizza fanatics to get their hands on a pizza for just a pittance of the normal cost of a pizza.
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Funny story:  Marlboro Man update

Marlboro Man update

Marlboro Man is riding through grasslands empty and void. His hands are bloody his matches are wet. He is pissed. He had to kill and sell the calf he liked to kiss the most, ┬┤cause the damn Krauts had raised the cigarette tax. $ 4.25 is what they now...
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Funny story:  Safest hands in Britain drops basket of eggs

Safest hands in Britain drops basket of eggs

Jed Masterson, PE Teacher at Columnworth Primary School in Cheshire, today dropped a whole basket of eggs on his way home from work. The eggs were to be part of an important "egg and spoon" race.
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