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Funny story: Man Loses Out On Job Offer Due To Pathetically Weak Handshake

Man Loses Out On Job Offer Due To Pathetically Weak Handshake

Nathan Edwards had it all: a 1st class honours degree from Oxford, a Masters degree from Cambridge, Captain of the Rowing team and a CV so strong it could take on a grizzly bear. But all is not looking up for Edwards as he was recently rejected f...
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Funny story: Strapped for cash billionaire hedge fund manager hocks a few Picassos, etc, to Goldman Sux

Strapped for cash billionaire hedge fund manager hocks a few Picassos, etc, to Goldman Sux

Off-The-Wall Street, NYC - One of the artworks is believed to be the insanely rare and wildly expensive El Greco rendition of Christ Throwing The Money Lenders From The Temple according to Plumeberg Artworld news reports today. The painting is sai...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Rich Employee's Comments Exposed

Goldman Sachs Rich Employee's Comments Exposed

Goldman Sachs tattletale Steve Strong has been exposed. He's the guy that overheard remarks of Goldman employees on the elevators going to its offices. Now his identity is no longer a secret. His twitter account @Goldman Gossip has had a huge audience of people who view remarks made the Sachs workforce. Now that's he's out of business, Goldman Sachs has lifted the ban on company-impose...
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Funny story: GOP Insider: Lloyd Blankfein Will NOT Be Secretary of the Treasury

GOP Insider: Lloyd Blankfein Will NOT Be Secretary of the Treasury

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has disclosed to an anonymous source that he probably will not appoint Lloyd Blankfein to the office of Secretary of the Treasury. Blankfein is CEO of Goldman Sachs, one of the nation's most distinguished financial...
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Funny story: London axeman disgusted by 'discriminatory' Goldman Sachs career opportunities

London axeman disgusted by 'discriminatory' Goldman Sachs career opportunities

London - A mystery axeman sought for the 1987 hit on a London private eye** has voiced his disgust at a US banker's comments about discriminatory career path opportunities at Goldman Sachs. Speaking via an anonymous VOIP link self-styled professio...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Plans a Halloween Celebration for Occupy Wall Street

Goldman Sachs Plans a Halloween Celebration for Occupy Wall Street

New York City - The world's largest investment firm is going all out this Halloween to make the holiday special for the thousands of Occupy Wall Street protesters who have become its neighbors in the financial district. "For starters, we're going...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs to Change Name to Sacks O'Gold

Goldman Sachs to Change Name to Sacks O'Gold

Special to INS - Lloyd C. Blankfein, Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs, the New York-based bank holding company, announced today that the firm will change its name to Sacks O'Gold (NYSE ticker, SOG). The change is in keeping with the firm's intention...
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Funny story: Five 'Wall Street Heavyweights' Say Its Time To Put Your Meager Money Into Their Greedy Hands

Five 'Wall Street Heavyweights' Say Its Time To Put Your Meager Money Into Their Greedy Hands

The front page of USA Today announced that '5 Wall Street Heavyweights say it's time to "Get Back Into Stocks!"' Yes folks, for those of you who are not unemployed or living out of a storage unit it is time to take your hard earned cash and put it back into the hands of those people who almost sunk the United States like it was the Titanic. The money section of the paper (and who knows money...
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Funny story: You Shall Read This And Obey

You Shall Read This And Obey

Official notification is hereby given to all citizens of the United States that the government of said land is dissolved and that the entity formerly known as the United States Of America has been acquired in a hostile takeover by the newly formed Corporation of North America. All questions of national allegiance and international relations will now be addressed to the Halliburton America sec...
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Funny story: Clients Worried About Goldman's Dueling Skills; Those With Highest Losses Demanding 'Time On the Mat' with Sachs's CEO

Clients Worried About Goldman's Dueling Skills; Those With Highest Losses Demanding 'Time On the Mat' with Sachs's CEO

"Questions have been raised that go to the heart of this institution's most fundamental value: how we service our clients." - Lloyd C. Blanketyblank, Goldman Sachs's C.E.O., at the firm's annual meeting and finger-pointing, held this month at an undi...
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Funny story: Goldman's Sack Probed by Federal Prosecutors

Goldman's Sack Probed by Federal Prosecutors

Following a week of prosecutorial investigation, a single man was identified at the core of the Goldman Sachs controversy, and is now at the center of a federal probe. Bernie "The Bookie" Goldman, who hasn't set foot in a Goldman Sachs office buil...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs London HQ 'buried under volcanic ash'

Goldman Sachs London HQ 'buried under volcanic ash'

New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street): Fallout from the Eyjafjallajokull glacier volcano has reached the London HQ of investment banking giant Goldman Sachs. This morning its London office at former Daily Telegraph plant Peterborough Court/133 Fleet St...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs accused of nothing by US Nobody

Goldman Sachs accused of nothing by US Nobody

Goldman Sachs, the Wall Street powerhouse, has been accused of nothing by America's greatest hero, Colonel Nobody. The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) alleges that Goldman failed to do anything including disclose conflicts of interest, w...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Can't Eliminate Mysterious Odor of Dirty Rats

Goldman Sachs Can't Eliminate Mysterious Odor of Dirty Rats

New York, NY - The area around the offices of Goldman Sachs in New York City and New Jersey are void of pedestrian and vehicular traffic because of an overwhelming stench resembling the smell of dirty rats emanating from every part of the buildings a...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Announces Bumper Profits

Goldman Sachs Announces Bumper Profits

Banking Giant Goldman Sachs today announced bumper profits of £8billion. While the rest of the country struggles through the snow and with only snow to eat the bankers at the firms City headquarters were eating swan and basking in winter sunshine.
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Funny story: Gerald Ratner poised to swoop on Goldman Sachs

Gerald Ratner poised to swoop on Goldman Sachs

Canary Wharf - (Northern Crock Mess): Former trailer-trash jewelery retailer Gerald Ratner is poised to swoop on investment giants Goldman Sachs after the bank's share price nosedived. Ratner, 69, famously caused the bankruptcy of his own eponymou...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Encourages Sex Changes By Employees

Goldman Sachs Encourages Sex Changes By Employees

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- The fabulously rich bankers and traders at Goldman Sachs who enjoy big salaries and bonuses now enjoy free sex-change surgery in a new perk.
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

Goldman Sachs bails out Bush's hedge fund with $3bn

Canary Wharf, Shitty of London - (Ass Mess): Hedge Funds, a term synonymous with Bush Slush Funds only even bigger, are financial scams open to invitation-only mobster cartels wanting to make a packet without paying any tax on earnings and run withou...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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