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Funny satire stories about glasses

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Funny story: America Can't Find Its Glasses

America Can't Find Its Glasses

After a night of heavy drinking, America seems to have misplaced its glasses. Even though they were definitely right here on the table when America went to bed, the elusive pair of spectacles remain missing. America has reportedly interviewed sev...
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Funny story: Apple announce new Spect-Apples

Apple announce new Spect-Apples

With Google bringing out Google Glasses, Apple have announced their own version of the intrusive wearable computer with Spect-Apples. "Spect-Apples are going to be massive," said product designer Ariane Cox. "They hook straight into the iStore, an...
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Funny story: Intelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses

Intelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses

For many years Intelligent Design have been using the human eye as an example as to why there must be a Designer responsible for all life. This has no been dropped after Michael Beye, author of numerous ID books and articles, discovered he needed gla...
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Funny story: Eyesight failing? There's an app for that

Eyesight failing? There's an app for that

Opticians have long been the only place you can go to when you realise that the reason you keep bumping in to stuff is that you need glasses. Normally, most people continue to bump into stuff rather than get glasses for vanity reasons. Some continue...
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Funny story: Big glasses make wine taste better

Big glasses make wine taste better

If you want your wine to taste nice it's best to wear a big pair of glasses rather than a small monocle or nothing at all. Researchers at Spexarus University got hundreds of volunteers to wear different sizes of spectacles when tasting a range of...
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Funny story: Near-sighted dolphin mistakes child for Honey Boo Boo and bites her!

Near-sighted dolphin mistakes child for Honey Boo Boo and bites her!

ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - A dolphin named Sally bit a child who was feeding her in a tank at Orlando's Sea World Sunday. Police immediately arrested the dolphin who told them, "I'm so sorry! I'm so near-sighted, I thought the little girl was Honey...
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Funny story: Clark Kent quits 'Daily Planet'

Clark Kent quits 'Daily Planet'

After fifty years Clark Kent has handed in his notice at 'The Daily Planet'. The bespectacled farmers son has written a column on nature for the last thirty years but started out in the newsroom. Kent was never very lucky on the news desk and always...
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Funny story: Superman grounded after air-safety fears

Superman grounded after air-safety fears

The Man of Steel, Superman, has been grounded amid rumours he is unfit to fly. "Thanks to WikiLeaks," said Federal Aviation Authority spokesperson, Alex Luther, "we know now that Superman is short sighted, and he does not fly whilst using any visi...
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Funny story: Apple bring 3D into the real world

Apple bring 3D into the real world

The world of 3D is branching out from movies and television into our everyday lives. Apple have just released the i-Glass - a pair of regular looking spectacles, which allow the wearer to experience real life in 3 dimensions. Users will now feel...
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Funny story: Need glasses? There's an app for that

Need glasses? There's an app for that

The long and short-sighted can finally throw away glasses and contact lens and instead see the world through their phone. Now, instead of the multitude of complicated vision aids, people can simply download iSee. "This is a major step forward," sa...
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Funny story: North Korea declares war on popular Opticians

North Korea declares war on popular Opticians

According to news wires around the globe North Korea have declared war on a popular UK optician chain all because of an advert for TV! The popular ads all poke fun at characters wearing cheap spectacles and are frequently seen on TV, but now it se...
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Funny story: CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

It's all go for David Caruso, star of CSI Miami, filming here, filming there, nipping to the shops to buy factor 1000 sun cream for his lily white skin, due to being a ginger in the sunniest place on the planet. Apparently he was on set the other...
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Funny story: Study: 'Smart-looking glasses' don't make you smart

Study: 'Smart-looking glasses' don't make you smart

WASHINGTON DC - A study released today by the Scientific Analysis Group (SAG) shocked the Optometry business. The study found that 'smart-looking glasses' don't actually make people smarter, and in fact may make them stupider. The study followe...
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Funny story: 10 Things Victor Meldrew can believe

10 Things Victor Meldrew can believe

Professional Miserabilist, see-er of empty glasses and man old enough to remember when God was a boy, Victor Meldrew does believe the following things:...
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Funny story: If you look down in the shower, can you see anything?

If you look down in the shower, can you see anything?

Have you ever noticed how novelty products, the thought here is about glasses with windscreen wipers on them, actually stem from a very good idea? The problem was that the idea wasn't fully formed; that is until a bright spark took a new approach and put a big plastic nose and false moustache underneath them. One man's pain is another man's novelty nose, I suppose.
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