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Funny satire stories about gerbils

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Funny story: Man Swallowed By Snake: Pet Gerbil Unable To Save Him

Man Swallowed By Snake: Pet Gerbil Unable To Save Him

BILLINGSGATE POST: A heartbreaking story from Sulawesi, Indonesia. According to local news reports, the body found inside a 23-foot python turned out to be a 23-year-old man named Akbar who had been reported missing by his wife. Authorities there...
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Funny story: Rogue Robotic Gerbil Attack Delays Hillary Debate

Rogue Robotic Gerbil Attack Delays Hillary Debate

BILLINGSGATE POST: Secret Service agents, joined by ACME/Wile E Coyote Pest Control, are still searching for the rogue robotic gerbil that allegedly attacked Hillary Clinton during her restroom break this past Saturday night. Just as Mrs. Clinton...
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Funny story: Whistling Percy

Whistling Percy

My Gerbil Percy (a name is ever there was one) loves to whistle tunes, you'll catch him on a Friday night whilst whistly at the moon. But that's not all you see he puts on quite a show, he's no one trick pony no, he's more feathers to his bow. He spins plates with spaghetti and twirls amongst confetti, a real sight or so I am told. A hearty soul my Percy Pal I'm so glad to have known. He...
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Funny story: John The Baptist's pet gerbil was Bulgarian

John The Baptist's pet gerbil was Bulgarian

Black Sea - New Testament era animal bones at a Sveti Ivan Island archaeological site have tested positive for the holy man's pet gerbil 'Gerry'. The discovery off the Black Sea's Bulgarian coast finally nails the lie that John The Baptist was a n...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof: Chapter 100 - The 6th Floor

Born to Spoof: Chapter 100 - The 6th Floor

Skoob was dead right, things had changed, the Gerbils were now everywhere and they were even bigger than before. One blocking our path up the stairs looked to be 800 stone. One turned towards us and it glared...right through my soul. "They've got so many now, you can't move a milli-second without one having it's nose up your ass," said J.O., standing right behind me, "They re-engineered them, n...
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Funny story: Barney Frank To Leave Congress: Plans To Breed Gerbils At His Ranch In New Mexico

Barney Frank To Leave Congress: Plans To Breed Gerbils At His Ranch In New Mexico

WASHINGTON - Massachusett's Congressman Barney Frank announced today that he would not run for re-election in 2012, saying that, "He was tired of Washington politics now that his party was not in control of the House of Representatives." Having sp...
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Funny story: X-Factor's Johnny Robinson Blows Gays And Straights Away In Rock Week

X-Factor's Johnny Robinson Blows Gays And Straights Away In Rock Week

LONDON - Gay novelty X-Factor contestant Johnny Robinson went into Saturday's performance feeling decidedly pessimistic, as the show was rock themed, and Johnny by his own admission, had never attempted to sing a rock song in his life. Suffice to...
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Funny story: Elderly Man Gives Birth To Gerbil Twins in Hernia Operation!

Elderly Man Gives Birth To Gerbil Twins in Hernia Operation!

An elderly man in Louisburg, NC gave birth on Friday to gerbil twins in what was thought to be a routine double hernia operation! Due to the the prominence of the patient involved, the local hospital refused to release the name of the patient. A...
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Funny story: Hamster Union Strikes Over Forced Felching Incidents

Hamster Union Strikes Over Forced Felching Incidents

Lawyers for the International Brotherhood of Hamsters announced yesterday that the entire population of pet Hamsters will go on a full activity strike, unless reports of Felching around the globe cease. Terry Beaverton, lawyer and translator for t...
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Funny story: WHO Warns of Possible Asian Gerbil Flu Epidemic

WHO Warns of Possible Asian Gerbil Flu Epidemic

The World Health Organization (WHO)has issued warnings to every major country's health departments regarding the spread of the deadly Asian gerbil flu. Two cases of the flu have already been confirmed, one just outside of Phuket, Thailand and one jus...
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Funny story: SF International Airport on Lock Down as TSA Mistake Gerbil Tail for Anal Fuse!

SF International Airport on Lock Down as TSA Mistake Gerbil Tail for Anal Fuse!

The comedy of errors continued today as brain dead TSA workers, most who have been refused gainful employment due to learning disabilities or criminal history, managed to shut down SF International Airport over a Bogus Terror Bomb Alert! According...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof - Chapter 7: The Best Laid Plans

Born to Spoof - Chapter 7: The Best Laid Plans

Meanwhile, down the street in an old abandoned sawmill, Charpa was busy at work on a plan. No one had noticed the big burly brute who had been arriving nightly with several truckloads full of wooden planks of all sizes. Charpa had a plan "and a damned good plan at that," she thought to herself as she watched the wood being stacked in the corner haphazardly. "This is a good a plan as we have, seein...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof: Chapter 6 - New Olde World

Born to Spoof: Chapter 6 - New Olde World

Looking out the cell window Masterchev watched in amazement. #4 she'd hit the ground so lightly from her horse, it was as if the gravity didn't affect her the way it did the rest of us mortals. "Hmmmm," thought Masterchev, "mortals...portals,...gerbils?" There was something stirring in his mind, he felt different somehow, more powerful, yet he couldn't put his finger on it as he watched #4. She...
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Funny story: Chapter 16: God versus the Gerbils From Hell (A Birdseye View)

Chapter 16: God versus the Gerbils From Hell (A Birdseye View)

Previously............. A group of one hundred Gerbils of Hell stood on one side of the deck. Approximately twenty Spoof writers on the other side. All with weapons. All in a stand-off. Masterchev took a single step forward and aimed his Glock. As he fired the first bullet towards the wall of brown fur, it was Jaggedone's words which struck a chord with me. "So it begins Jean. Welcome to...
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Funny story: Richard Gere Excited About The Possibilities Of Bum Steers Over Gerbils

Richard Gere Excited About The Possibilities Of Bum Steers Over Gerbils

Richard Gere, star of such movies as Pretty Woman and American Gigolo, is an aging Hollywood actor seeking new vitality and new film roles. He is also probably most well known for the famous "gerbil incident." While doing research for a part in t...
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Funny story: Richard Gere To Star In "The Gerbil Whisperer"

Richard Gere To Star In "The Gerbil Whisperer"

Richard Gere has signed to star in a new movie called "The Gerbil Whisperer." Filming is set to begin next month in Hollywood. Most of the movie will be shot on set, with the only location filming scheduled for Gere's favorite "tunnel of love."...
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Funny story: Teabaggers Demand Barney Frank Free Gerbils

Teabaggers Demand Barney Frank Free Gerbils

The news that conservative Teabaggers have finally addressed the plight of gerbils held captive by Representative Barney Frank has members of Washington's gay community up in arms. A few years ago it was revealed that Barney's roommate was runni...
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Funny story: Tom Cruise To Star In Ishtar Remake

Tom Cruise To Star In Ishtar Remake

Tom Cruise, the man who believes that everything he touches turns to gold, will star in a remake of the 80's bomb Ishtar. The film is generall considered one of the worst ever made and starred generally bankable Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.
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Breaking News...

Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead

The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."
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