WASHINGTON - Massachusett's Congressman Barney Frank announced today that he would not run for re-election in 2012, saying that, "He was tired of Washington politics now that his party was not in control of the House of Representatives."
Having sp...
LONDON - Gay novelty X-Factor contestant Johnny Robinson went into Saturday's performance feeling decidedly pessimistic, as the show was rock themed, and Johnny by his own admission, had never attempted to sing a rock song in his life.
Suffice to...
An elderly man in Louisburg, NC gave birth on Friday to gerbil twins in what was thought to be a routine double hernia operation! Due to the the prominence of the patient involved, the local hospital refused to release the name of the patient.
A...
Lawyers for the International Brotherhood of Hamsters announced yesterday that the entire population of pet Hamsters will go on a full activity strike, unless reports of Felching around the globe cease.
Terry Beaverton, lawyer and translator for t...
The World Health Organization (WHO)has issued warnings to every major country's health departments regarding the spread of the deadly Asian gerbil flu. Two cases of the flu have already been confirmed, one just outside of Phuket, Thailand and one jus...
The comedy of errors continued today as brain dead TSA workers, most who have been refused gainful employment due to learning disabilities or criminal history, managed to shut down SF International Airport over a Bogus Terror Bomb Alert!
According...
Meanwhile, down the street in an old abandoned sawmill, Charpa was busy at work on a plan. No one had noticed the big burly brute who had been arriving nightly with several truckloads full of wooden planks of all sizes. Charpa had a plan "and a damned good plan at that," she thought to herself as she watched the wood being stacked in the corner haphazardly. "This is a good a plan as we have, seein...
Looking out the cell window Masterchev watched in amazement. #4 she'd hit the ground so lightly from her horse, it was as if the gravity didn't affect her the way it did the rest of us mortals. "Hmmmm," thought Masterchev, "mortals...portals,...gerbils?" There was something stirring in his mind, he felt different somehow, more powerful, yet he couldn't put his finger on it as he watched #4.
She...
Previously.............
A group of one hundred Gerbils of Hell stood on one side of the deck. Approximately twenty Spoof writers on the other side. All with weapons. All in a stand-off.
Masterchev took a single step forward and aimed his Glock. As he fired the first bullet towards the wall of brown fur, it was Jaggedone's words which struck a chord with me.
"So it begins Jean. Welcome to...
Richard Gere, star of such movies as Pretty Woman and American Gigolo, is an aging Hollywood actor seeking new vitality and new film roles. He is also probably most well known for the famous "gerbil incident."
While doing research for a part in t...
Richard Gere has signed to star in a new movie called "The Gerbil Whisperer." Filming is set to begin next month in Hollywood. Most of the movie will be shot on set, with the only location filming scheduled for Gere's favorite "tunnel of love."...
The news that conservative Teabaggers have finally addressed the plight of gerbils held captive by Representative Barney Frank has members of Washington's gay community up in arms.
A few years ago it was revealed that Barney's roommate was runni...
Tom Cruise, the man who believes that everything he touches turns to gold, will star in a remake of the 80's bomb Ishtar. The film is generall considered one of the worst ever made and starred generally bankable Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty.
Researchers have determined that gerbils, hampsters, guinea pigs, mice, rats, and other rodents are high in essential vitamins and nutrients and may be the perfect food. Eight ounces of roasted gerbil meat contains all of the required ingredients to...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a twist almost no one could have predicted, the gerbil that near-Idol Adam Lambert shoved up BuckwheatsButt's ass as an act of revenge has decided to make itself at home, much to the chagrin of both celebrities.
Though he gr...
Washington,DC/ Rodent Rage Supplement - Enraged left wing PETA Picketers surrounded the Washington Office of House Banking Chairman Barney Frank over rumors of Personal Gerbil Abuse to Enhance the Democrat's personal Stimulus Package.
A stutterin...
Author of potboilers, Nicholas Sparks entered new turf when he penned the boy meets rodent, boy loses rodent (up his ass) and then boy really loses rodent (dead you know). Now the incredible love journey of a gerbil up the rear view of a Hollywood st...
Actor Richard Gere has now gained the distinction of being the largest breeder of gerbils. The small animals are sold in pet stores for pets and as food for snakes and other reptiles. They are also used in scientific experiments and drug testing.