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Funny satire stories about gastric band

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Funny story: Rectal Surgery and Specialty Trousers New Weight Loss Trend

Rectal Surgery and Specialty Trousers New Weight Loss Trend

With many Americans unable to change life long eating habits, a new medical procedure coupled with prosthetic pants may be the desirable answer. Developed by Dr. C. Emmett Sakatt a colorectal surgical specialist with extraordinarily long fingers,...
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Funny story: Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Grossly obese Scots couple scoop £161m Eurosquillions rollover

Glasgow - A pair of middle-aged chinless blobs from Lard - er...Largs! - in Ayrshire won the record breaking jackpot after a seven week-long rollover. Chris and Colin Weird (sic) said today they would be investing some of the dosh in gastric band...
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Funny story: Centrefold model gets radical surgery to keep job

Centrefold model gets radical surgery to keep job

Following recent financial losses, a men's magazine is introducing a new slimmer version of their publication, which goes on sale from next month. It means that fewer models will be needed, and there is stiff competition for the available places. A...
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Funny story: Princess Beatrice uses Gastric Band

Princess Beatrice uses Gastric Band

Princess Beatrice, the daughter of the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, is alleged to be overweight and possibly morbidly obese after being photographed in a size 10 bikini in the Caribbean has confessed to using the Gastric Band.
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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