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Funny satire stories about full-body scanners

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Passengers demand the return of the Body Scanners

Funny story: Passengers demand the return of the Body Scanners

Air passengers at Stockport Airport are demanding a return of the full body terrahertz scanners after the replacement has proven unpopular. The full body scanners were installed in 2005 and caused a massive controversy when it was revealed that th...

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The TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners

Funny story: The TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...

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Stinky Feet Causes Climate Change

Funny story: Stinky Feet Causes Climate Change

Washington DC: A new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) study apologizes for the federal government's junk science blaming Carbon Dioxide (CO2) for causing climate change. The real culprit is stinky feet. The EPA was examining regulating the o...

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"Naked Body Scanners Out, Anal Probes In," says TSA

Funny story: "Naked Body Scanners Out, Anal Probes In," says TSA

Faced with lawsuits from airline passengers and its own employees, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said today that it will discontinue the use of naked-body scanners at U.S. airports beginning March 2011. Passengers have long co...

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Longer Waits in Security Lines at Nation's Airports Expected

Funny story: Longer Waits in Security Lines at Nation's Airports Expected

If you are planning on traveling any time soon, you may as well count on having to wait in the security lines longer, a lot longer due to the advent of the full-body scans and pat downs. Security workers at the nation's major airports are reported...

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Man With Pistol-Shaped Penis Afraid to Fly

Funny story: Man With Pistol-Shaped Penis Afraid to Fly

Herman "Harry" Schwanglinger is a businessman who relies heavily on the friendly skies to get him quickly from one business meeting to another. Until recently, he was a frequent business flyer having racked up more than a million miles in the past tw...

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Vatican Orders Several Hundred Full-Body Scanners for Use in Worldwide Rectories

Funny story: Vatican Orders Several Hundred Full-Body Scanners for Use in Worldwide Rectories

With the advent (no pun intended) of the new full-body scanning technology being used by worldwide airports, the Pope has asked makers of the devices to set aside several hundred for purchase by the Vatican. Using the excuse that one can never be...

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Former Heathrow Airport Security Worker to Release 2011 Full-Body Scan Calendar

Funny story: Former Heathrow Airport Security Worker to Release 2011 Full-Body Scan Calendar

LONDON, England - An enterprising former airport security worker has hatched a plan to take some of the very best photos he captured of various co-workers and travelers coming through the newly installed full-body scanners at Heathrow Airport and off...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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