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Freedom at Last for Americans

Funny story: Freedom at Last for Americans

Extra Legislation to Protect 'Freedom'. Washington: Congress has passed new bills under instructions from Emperor Barack Obama to protect what he calls "citizens' inviolable freedoms". What does it mean? Well,... as a reward for giving up on their Freedom of Speech upon which America's 'democracy' is founded, American sheeple can now have their innate freedoms legally protected. They are...

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Congress to ban curb-stomping black men while yelling "white power"

Following a tireless debate last night, congress has begun work drafting a new bill that seeks to stop white men from kicking the back of a goddamn coon's head and shattering his teeth whilst proclaiming the sanctity of the white bloodline. The bi...

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The Best Dream He Ever Had

Funny story: The Best Dream He Ever Had

On reflection, he was more than happy that he had lived to experience such an event, however unreal it may have appeared at the time. He could see it all clearly now. Gazing up at the stars that seemed suddenly close and friendly he could not help but replay the scene over and over in his mind. To a stunned and packed Senate gathering President Barack Obama got slowly to his feet to announce th...

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Russia Orders "Chicken Kiev" Stricken From Restaurant Menus

Funny story: Russia Orders "Chicken Kiev" Stricken From Restaurant Menus

Moscow - Russian President Vladimir Putin has issued an executive order requiring all restaurants in Russia to strike the dish 'Chicken Kiev' from their menus. Although Putin does not need the approval of the legislative branch of the Russian Federa...

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George W. Bush to award Snowden Presidential Medal of Freedom

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!, TEXASS -- Former U. S. president George W. Bush is reportedly considering penning a retroactive executive order awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to whistle-blower Edward Snowden. "He's a patriot for exposing...

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ObamaBowlaRama Franchise Offered to the Nation

Funny story: ObamaBowlaRama Franchise Offered to the Nation

CHUGWATER, WYOMING - Twin brothers, Buck and Chuck Clapsaddle, 36, have announced their award winning, multimillion dollar business, ObamaBowlaRama, a bowling alley with a political twist, will be offered for nationwide and possibly international f...

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Nelson Mandela Speech in Canada Was A Favorite! Here's the rest of the story?

Funny story: Nelson Mandela Speech in Canada Was A Favorite! Here's the rest of the story?

Nelson Mandela always had close ties with Canada where he always found support, according to one reporter who shared with us yesterday. "I was there when he told the crowd, "Your respect for diversity within your own society and your tolerant and...

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Obama administration launches brainwashing program against U. S. citizens

WASHINGTON, DC --- Convinced that it knows what is best for everyone else, the Obama administration has launched a new effort to control citizens' behavior and bend them to the federal government's will: BIT (Behavioral Insights Team) is working "ac...

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President Obama to media: "We're coming after you!"

WASHINGTON, DC - In an off-the-record press conference, President Barak Obama, in the interest of "government transparency," made a startling announcement. "We're coming after you!" he warned the American media. Although he wouldn't name the names...

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White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

Funny story: White Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans celebrated their country's 236th birthday today with fireworks displays, parades, family cookouts, and really shitty American beer. Nevermind that one in four Americans is not able to explain from whom the United State...

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Long Island Villager Gets 2 Years in Jail for Not Mowing Lawn

Funny story: Long Island Villager Gets 2 Years in Jail for Not Mowing Lawn

An 85 year old veteran was sentenced to 24 months jail time after he became the first resident to fall foul of Massapequa Park village's new law, which came into effect today which made it a criminal offense for homeowners not to maintain their prope...

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Bloomberg Shrinking The Big Apple's Waistline With A Supersized Attack On 'Fatty Freedom'

Funny story: Bloomberg Shrinking The Big Apple's Waistline With A Supersized Attack On 'Fatty Freedom'

New York's diminutive mayor has launched a campaign to shrink the city's citizenry down to size - one resident at a time. The effort began today with a ban on super-sized sugared drinks and will progress with the construction of "fat farms" in ea...

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Unschoolers tell parents to 'unparent'

Funny story: Unschoolers tell parents to 'unparent'

The recent trends of Unschoolers, who basically are self taught on everything from spelling to physics, share a belief that children do not need classrooms and organized education to learn. Rather, they are on their own to do what they want anytime...

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Burka's and eating frogs legs in public banned in France!

Funny story: Burka's and eating frogs legs in public banned in France!

The French government are determined to ban Muslim women from wearing Burka's in public and have promised Muslims in return to also ban the eating of frogs legs in public! French Muslims feel that this new law is discriminating, but the French gov...

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U.S. Secretly Planning Invasion of Heaven

Funny story: U.S. Secretly Planning Invasion of Heaven

The United States intends to send troops into Heaven, in a move to prevent terrorists from operating there. Called Operation Free Heaven, the top-secret plan, conceived during the Bush administration but never carried out, is gaining momentum in high...

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GOP Considers Ban on Islam

On Thursday, Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) became the highest ranking Republican to offer support to a proposed law banning the peaceful practice of Islam in the United States. The controversial measure originally proposed by Lindsey Graham, Republican S...

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Magna Carta nobody gives a Rats Arse

Funny story: Magna Carta nobody gives a Rats Arse

The Magna Carta, is probably the greatest document in England's history regarding the protection of the peoples liberty. It restricts the right of monarchy to be unjust against ordinary citizens but also through its declaration of freedom makes it cl...

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San Francisco Mayor to Phase Out Traffic Signals

Funny story: San Francisco Mayor to Phase Out Traffic Signals

SAN FRANCISCO, California - Mayor Gavin Newsom gave the green light today to a controversial new initiative aimed at driving down the city of San Francisco's gaping budget deficit. Beginning January 1, 2010, he announced, maintenance crews will be...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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