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Funny satire stories about food stamps

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Funny story: Marie Antoinette Cake Centers To Open For US Hungry

Marie Antoinette Cake Centers To Open For US Hungry

The omnibus farm appropriation bill passed by The House today provides for the establishment of 500 Marie Antoinette Cake Centers in the 17 states who get $800 million per year in food stamp cuts provided by the bill, affecting some 2 million men,...
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Funny story: "This Ain't Willie Nelson's Farm-Aid"

"This Ain't Willie Nelson's Farm-Aid"

So says Frank N. Beans, a struggling California marijuana grower who will probably not be eligible to receive subsidies or crop insurance under the proposed farm bill now being considered in the U.S. House of Representatives. "They gonna cut $40 billion in food aid for the poor over the next ten years and give 'bout $15 billion a year to the big guys," he says. "I cain't 'ford no lobbyist nor...
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Funny story: Angus T. Jones Who Was Fired From Two and A Half Men Is Reportedly On Food Stamps

Angus T. Jones Who Was Fired From Two and A Half Men Is Reportedly On Food Stamps

EAST LOS ANGELES - The former child star of Two and A Half Men who was fired from his $300,000 per week job is reportedly broke. An unnamed source reported seeing Angus T. walking the streets of East El Lay wearing a torn Mitt Romney For President...
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Funny story: President Obama Announces A New Work For Food Federal Program

President Obama Announces A New Work For Food Federal Program

PHOENIX - President Obama has just announced that he and a committee which included Vice-President Joe Biden, First Lady Michelle Obama, former talk show queen Oprah Winfrey, and sultry actress Eva Longoria, have just come up with a brand new federal...
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Funny story: President Obama Will Send $20 Million Worth of Food Stamps To The Citizens of Syria

President Obama Will Send $20 Million Worth of Food Stamps To The Citizens of Syria

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has said that he has an obligation to do something to help the people of Syria because the entire world has turned their backs on them. But now it seems that Obama is starting to feel a little like Johnny Depp in...
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Funny story: USDA To Implement IQ Test For Food Stamp Participants

USDA To Implement IQ Test For Food Stamp Participants

WASHINGTON, DC - The United States Department of Agriculture announced today that it will begin testing participants in the Electronic Benefit Transfer (EBT) program, commonly known as "Food Stamps". USDA Spokesperson, Juwanna Jahb, said that "Aft...
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Funny story: Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson Have Been Offered Their Own Sit-Com

Burt Reynolds and Lonnie Anderson Have Been Offered Their Own Sit-Com

HOLLYWOOD - Lonnie Anderson recently said that it took her a while but she was able to get over the heartbreak of having her husband (Burt Reynolds) cheat on her. She told Savannah Kettle with Glamboyant Magazine that when she divorced Burt back i...
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Funny story: Government declares passion for rations

Government declares passion for rations

In the quest to simplify the morass of tax credits and welfare benefits, the government is to trial a novel cashless scheme, first pioneered in the 1940s. Today a spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP, colloquially pronounced 'do...
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Funny story: President Obama To Do Away With The FSP in Beverly Hills

President Obama To Do Away With The FSP in Beverly Hills

WATERLOO, Iowa - President Obama has wasted no time in keeping his promise to cut out certain federal programs that will have the least amount of affect on the least amount of citizens. The president, speaking before a crowd of 17,000 at The Crop...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney Answers The Food Stamp Question

Mitt Romney Answers The Food Stamp Question

TOLEDO, Ohio - Most of the political media realizes that the GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney talks a lot about the middle class and about poor people but he really does not know very many people in either group. Political Salad Bar Magazine...
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Funny story: Zombies Asking For Food Stamps

Zombies Asking For Food Stamps

Today world leaders have been barraged with complaints from Zombie United to give aid and comfort to underprivileged zombies. Zombies United conducted a world-wide survey of zombies walking the different countries and found that seven out of ten...
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Funny story: The United States To Do Away With The Food Stamp Program

The United States To Do Away With The Food Stamp Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After a year-long undercover investigation that has uncovered thousands of unethical and illegal practices and schemes attributed to the current Food Stamp Program, President Obama has issued a presidential directive eliminating th...
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Funny story: US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner On Food Stamps

US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner On Food Stamps

Washington, DC - It has been revealed by credible sources within the U.S. Department of Agriculture that U.S. Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, the man responsible for the nations finance and monetary matters, has applied for food stamps - the progra...
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Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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