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Funny story:  Sex and the Common Agricultural Policy

Sex and the Common Agricultural Policy

The EU's Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) has long been one of the more controversial parts of European legislation. A number of Dorking residents tell how it has affected their lives. Sid Subby is a local farmer. "I'm 53 now," he says, "and this here farm has been in our family for generations. When I were a lad we used to grow lots of peas. Peas as big as your head. You couldn't even eat t...
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Funny story:  Women should carry dead fetuses long time, Georgia state representative England

Women should carry dead fetuses long time, Georgia state representative England

ATLANTA, Ga. - State representative Terry England regaled the state house with stories of the olden days when he worked on a farm delivering dead pig and cow fetuses. Equating these barnyard friends with human females, England argued that what's good...
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Funny story:  UK Cabbage Crop Destroyed By Ravenous Great White Mice

UK Cabbage Crop Destroyed By Ravenous Great White Mice

Just as global warming brought killer sharks to the coastal waters of Cornwall, so has the Great White Mouse migrated to our island: from its hunting grounds in the Caribbean to the cabbage fields of central England. "The fields are crawling with...
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Funny story:  Local Ploughing Match Ruined By Villager

Local Ploughing Match Ruined By Villager

Anger took hold within the local farming community this weekend, when a vandal ruined their annual ploughing match. The event, designed to reward the best ploughmen for their craft, was to be held in fields just outside a small village in Kent on...
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Funny story:  Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape

Ken Clarke clarifies his position on Oilseed Rape

Justice Secretary and Lord chancellor Kenneth (Ken) Clarke has issued a full and frank apology in attempt to clarify his position on Oilseed Rape. Mr Clarke was forced into the embarrassing climb-down because of comments he made on Radio 4's 'Far...
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Funny story:  National Trust Needs Virtual Food Producers

National Trust Needs Virtual Food Producers

The National Trust wants to persuade 10,000 consumers to become "virtual farmers." The organisation wants them to run a 1,200-acre site via the internet in a bid to teach families more about where their food comes from. It has turned over Wimpo...
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Funny story:  Opera Comes to Essex

Opera Comes to Essex

An Essex landowner has built an opera house in the middle of the countryside that will showcase some of the great operattas and classical works this summer. Christopher Stewart-Smith has converted a barn into an amphitheatre that should prove a magnet for orchestras from all over the globe. Some of the works that will be featured this year include : The Garage of Figaro The Tractor o...
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Funny story:  Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Irish farmer announces "Robot Chicken"

Continuing the pioneering work of legendary turkey farmer extraordinaire Bernard Matthews, Irish chicken breeder Patrick O'Feckit has come up with an ingenious scheme which may answer the ever-increasing demand for chicken. For many years he has...
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Funny story:  MP Resigns Over "Rape Seed" Remark

MP Resigns Over "Rape Seed" Remark

Independent MP Frank Thomson has resigned from the Land and Agriculture Sub Committee after being overheard "dissing" rape seed production in the United Kingdom. Rape seed is one of the most popular crop in the country and is used in the productio...
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Funny story:  Spaghetti Crop Damaged By Frost

Spaghetti Crop Damaged By Frost

Naples, FL-- Florida's famous spaghetti crop has been damaged by a late-Winter frost. The spaghetti trees were in bloom last night when the frost hit, and farmers fear the entire crop may have been wiped out. The macaroni bushes had less damage, be...
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Funny story:  Agricultural Colleges Changing With The Times

Agricultural Colleges Changing With The Times

British agricultural colleges were today accused of failing to teach the basics of farming. 'They've become centres of excellence in the teaching of many skills and crafts,' said the Government Chief Inspector of Colleges, 'but the management of c...
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Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
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