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Funny story: Botox Causes Premature Death of Poker-Faced Women

Botox Causes Premature Death of Poker-Faced Women

Botox has been used for decades to reduce the signs of aging but only recently have neurophysiologists discovered that the health risks include a 100% chance of dying prematurely with a "poker face." The botulinum toxin A is the most powerful neurot...
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Funny story: Botox Causes Premature Death of Poker-Faced Women

Botox Causes Premature Death of Poker-Faced Women

Botox has been used for decades to reduce the signs of aging but only recently have neurophysiologists discovered that the health risks include a 100% chance of dying prematurely with a "poker face." The botulinum toxin A is the most powerful neurot...
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Funny story: Little Kim's Face Has Been Recycled

Little Kim's Face Has Been Recycled

A new improved Little Kim has been launched onto the celebrity circuit. The diminutive, pint sized beauty has been, new and 'improved'. Startled pundits noted that there was a distinct Asian, robotic look to her shiny new face. She is barely r...
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Funny story: Computer virus eating faces on Facebook

Computer virus eating faces on Facebook

Florida - Hot on the heels of apparent vampires eating peoples brains, a computer virus dubbed "Defacelika" is eating faces on Facebook. When the virus strikes, according to computer scientist Dr. Bunsard Unsticky, working to defeat the virus, i...
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Funny story: Swiss Central Bank chief resorts to face grilling

Swiss Central Bank chief resorts to face grilling

In a drastic plan to evade prosecution for fraud, Pierre Bagsoffit, Chief of Swiss Central Bank, thought he'd try a bit of face grilling. Bagsoffit had amassed nearly 5 billion euros by distorting accounts and sometimes adding too many noughts. Wh...
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Funny story: Facial Recognition systems - closing the security loophole

Facial Recognition systems - closing the security loophole

With the increasing use of Facial Recognition to access computers, there is a move towards making them more secure. "Currently," said chief software developer at Facial Recognition Organisation Group, Freddie Kermit, "these systems are quite secur...
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Funny story: Gaddafi's face made of melted cheese

Gaddafi's face made of melted cheese

Libyan ruler Col Muammar Gaddafi has been battling to control the country's west as protesters consolidate eastern towns and foreigners continue to flee, however much less has been reported about the leader's battle to control his face. Ever since...
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Funny story: Gomes the new face for Marmite

Gomes the new face for Marmite

Heurelho Gomes is to become the new face of UK leading brand Marmite. The Marmite famous catchphrase, 'you either love it or hate it', is said to sum up the Tottenham goalkeeper and will be the perfect new addition to the company. John Cartwrig...
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Funny story: Nick Griffin in failed Face Transplant

Nick Griffin in failed Face Transplant

Nick Griffin, of the Bloody Nasty Party, was recovering in hospital today after a total face transplant went horribly wrong. Griffin had intended to change his image in line with the BNP's push to make it less "scary" to the average person in the...
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Funny story: Horror As Man Loses Face

Horror As Man Loses Face

Builder and local Surrey resident Tommy Clutterbuck sensationally lost his face yesterday afternoon, around 5:30pm. The budding brickie sneezed after inhaling a small amount of loosened brick dust, when his face slid off. The manky gloop that was...
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Funny story: Face Sitting League Round-Up

Face Sitting League Round-Up

The battle for UA-FS-A Champions League places continues to hot up at the Face Sitting League summit after Liverpool and ARSE-ON Villa both won but Tottenham had to settle for a single seat, while at the 'opposite end' of the table the basement dwell...
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Funny story: Bill Bailey's Face Goes Wrong

Bill Bailey's Face Goes Wrong

Images of a rather deformed looking Bill Bailey after some nips and tucks have leaked all over the internet. The comedian has undergone some plastic surgery, and has tried to hide himself from the public eye until his face has properly healed befo...
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Funny story: Face Transplant Man: "I'm Still Bloody Ugly"

Face Transplant Man: "I'm Still Bloody Ugly"

The recipient of the world's first male face transplant has launched an unprecedented attack on the previous owner of his face. James Maki, 59, who underwent the operation after suffering severe facial damage in a subway accident, launched into hi...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga - The Truth Behind The Costumes

Lady Gaga - The Truth Behind The Costumes

She's renowned for wearing the most outrageous costumes in the business, but nobody ever really knew why. Until I had the bottle to reveal the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. She's got a face like a slapped arse! Lady Gaga, c...
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Funny story: Young Man Swallows Own Face

Young Man Swallows Own Face

In a stunning turn of events, a young man from the University of Flonders in Nigeria swallowed his own face after an attempt to swallow his nose. "Mmff bgg hll bffg hnnf," commented Shinead "Skinhead" O'Doodle, the 20 year old who was credited wi...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson Police to Lay Off 3 Black Officers

Ferguson Police say that their experiment to hire black police officers to stem the violence in the predominantly black city has failed. They will lay off all black officers and not hire any more.

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