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Funny satire stories about eyes

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Funny story: Top Gear review the new car range from Sparks and Mensa

Top Gear review the new car range from Sparks and Mensa

Sparks and Mensa, better known for their high street stores for the cleverest of clever clogs, has branched out from branches into the automotive industry. "We're quite excited about this new range from S&M," said Jeremy Clarkson, who had tes...
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Funny story: John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

John Kerry gives Syria the 'Evil Eye'

Washington, DC - Finding little support for his administration's plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad in r...
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Funny story: Sparks and Mensa launch Eye Shadow for men

Sparks and Mensa launch Eye Shadow for men

Sparks and Mensa the high street shop for the supernova of the intelligentsia have announced a new eye make up range aimed exclusively at men. "The eye liner range we launched last year did remarkably well," said manager of the Dorking store, Just...
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Funny story: Intelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses

Intelligent Design stop using the eye as an example after Michael Beye discovers he needs glasses

For many years Intelligent Design have been using the human eye as an example as to why there must be a Designer responsible for all life. This has no been dropped after Michael Beye, author of numerous ID books and articles, discovered he needed gla...
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Funny story: No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...
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Funny story: iPhone 5 to incorporate facial recognition

iPhone 5 to incorporate facial recognition

Apple may be keeping the features of the much anticipated iPhone 5 under wraps, but one new feature has been leaked through a patent made by Apple for facial recognition. "There's two reasons for Apple not telling people what's in the iPhone 5," s...
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Funny story: Local Man Gets Something In His Eye As He Watches 'The Chase' On ITV

Local Man Gets Something In His Eye As He Watches 'The Chase' On ITV

Local Man, Martin Shuttlecock, reportedly a globetrotting trout tickler of some repute, today revealed that he got something in his eye, as he settled down at teatime to watch ITV's flagship pre-news quiz programme, 'The Chase' on the television. "I don't know what it was, but it hurt like buggery," Shuttlecock grumbled. "I had to take a couple of tablets because me eyeball came up all red and...
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Funny story: Facebook Poke Costs Man His Eye

Facebook Poke Costs Man His Eye

New York, NY-- An unexpected poke on Facebook has resulted in a New York man's partial blindness. Mr. Zander Zee says he was playing Farmville on the popular social network when a Facebook friend reached through cyberspace and accidentally poked his...
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Funny story: Eyeballs: Who's Looking at You? - A TroubleFinders Investigation

Eyeballs: Who's Looking at You? - A TroubleFinders Investigation

WEST CREEK - In-head eyeballs are a popular way for people to see, however, a lot of people don't know that these inventions can allow all sorts of weirdos to look at you and your family. They help you watch where you're going, and have even been known to save people in some instances, but the signals coming from most people's eyeballs can also help them have sick fantasies, and can even be use...
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Funny story: Apple to release new Iris scanning app for iPhone4

Apple to release new Iris scanning app for iPhone4

In Brussels today Apple Inc (APPL:NYSE) announced the release of the new retinal and iris scanning application for the iPhone4. "Users had always wondered why the iPhone 4 came with 2 camera's and now we can reveal why" said Arthur Ramsbottom at...
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Funny story: Controversy over implant to help blind people see

Controversy over implant to help blind people see

The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...
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Funny story: Peeping Tom Sees Less Than He Wanted!

Peeping Tom Sees Less Than He Wanted!

Convicted Peeping Tom, Tom Thompson, lost an eye last night whilst peeking through a peep-hole in the womens changing room at the leisure centre in Tring. The 42 year old father of none had been spying on several women as they gently lathered thei...
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Funny story: House Minority Leader Opens Eyes, Arrested For Indecent Exposure

House Minority Leader Opens Eyes, Arrested For Indecent Exposure

Congressman John Boehner of Ohio, long known for his "hooded eyes look" was arrested today for indecent exposure after opening his eyes wide in a press conference. No one in the Capitol had ever seen this and the reaction was immediate. "I can't...
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Funny story: World Champion Fudge Packer Admits Hobby Changed Eye Color

World Champion Fudge Packer Admits Hobby Changed Eye Color

Thomas Craig, world famous as the World Champion Fudge Packer, admitted today that his well known brown eyes used to be blue. "I've had so much packed in me that even the color has started to affect me." "I'm thinking about asking Linda Ronstadt...
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Funny story: Doncaster Man Baffles Doctors

Doncaster Man Baffles Doctors

Doncaster man Isaac Hunt has lived with an extraordinary medical condition all his life, but until now has never felt the need to consult the medical profession. And now he has, doctors admit that they're baffled and completely at a loss as to how to...
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Funny story: Research shock: Fun DOES continue after someone loses an eye

Research shock: Fun DOES continue after someone loses an eye

Scientists at the University of New England have finally debunked the ancient myth that "It's all good fun until somebody loses an eye." The group of psychologists monitored the behaviour of two hundred children at a primary school in inner Sydne...
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Funny story: Kim Carnes Returns with "Marty Feldman Eyes"

Kim Carnes Returns with "Marty Feldman Eyes"

Anybody remember one hit wonder Kim Carnes? You know, that gravel voiced masculine looking blonde woman who had a huge hit in the early 80's with "Bette Davis Eyes"? Well, according to the latest issue of Boredbill magazine, she is making a comeback.
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Funny story: Beach Volleyball Widens Asian Eyes!

Beach Volleyball Widens Asian Eyes!

Despite the controversial nature of the desire, some Asians have long longed for the round eyes of westerners. Surgery and injections have been employed to try and remedy the slated eye appearance of easterners. To the shock and awe of plastic surgeo...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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