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A tribute to 19th century explorer Sir Dr Wilbert Vagina-Crumpington

Funny story: A tribute to 19th century explorer Sir Dr Wilbert Vagina-Crumpington

The name Sir Dr Wilbert Vagina-Crumpington is little heard these days, and that is a great shame, for he was one of the greatest explorers of pre-Victorian Britain. He discovered the bottom of the Nile, and he invented Madagascar. He is responsible for recording for the first time countless tribes around the world, most of which he named after himself. He is also responsible for discovering an...

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Report on expedition to find source of Ganges

Funny story: Report on expedition to find source of Ganges

The dawn sun beat down on the party as they struggled onwards toward their goal, almost in sight at the final day of their expedition. They had been walking for over an hour and were beginning to feel that their journey would never end. A cat meowed. A dog woofed. A pigeon made a sort of pigeon noise and a mouse farted, followed through then died of syphilis. And at last, the party who set out fro...

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K2 Expedition Called Off At Burnley Bus Station

Funny story: K2 Expedition Called Off At Burnley Bus Station

An ambitious plan by a group of unemployed men from North East Lancashire to ascend the world's second highest mountain, K2, was reluctantly called off yesterday evening at Burnley bus station. The 28 expedition members, along with 84 Sherpas, fro...

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Arctic Explorer Eats Foot, Saves Jam for Toast

Funny story: Arctic Explorer Eats Foot, Saves Jam for Toast

Finnish explorer, Jan Waslosten, was lost in the frozen Arctic tundra for more than 40 days while rescue teams from Finland and Norway partnered in the search. It was assumed that Waslosten's homing beacon had died out sometime during the first wee...

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Charles Simonyi; Fifth Tourist in Space, Space Gets a Starbucks

Funny story: Charles Simonyi; Fifth Tourist in Space, Space Gets a Starbucks

Despite space's obvious appeal and dazzling views, it has had trouble attracting tourists. Charles Simonyi, billionaire software designer and the less famous husband of Martha Stewart, is trying to change that as he has just become the fifth spa...

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Giant Squid Found, Says Mankind Are "The Worst Seekers Ever"

Funny story: Giant Squid Found, Says Mankind Are "The Worst Seekers Ever"

Most Giant Squid remains have been found in the stomachs of Sperm Whales. This has led some of the stupider Marine Biologists to theorize that the belly of the Sperm Whale is in fact the natural habitat of the Giant Squid. Finally, today, we have p...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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