The Gorbals, Glasgow - Demoted in the ranks for gross misconduct the former Primate of Scotland has been ordered into exile from his Scottish stamping ground for processing and re-assimilation at a Vatican exorcism.
Ex-Cardinal Keith O'Brien will...
The ghost of Margaret Thatcher has again been reported seen at 10, Downing Street, this time by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. A terrified Mr Clegg, who managed to escape into the street through a ground floor office window after being confronted...
Actual story from the Washington Post:
WARSAW, Poland, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- Roman Catholic regions of Europe are seeing a resurgence of exorcism, the rite of expelling evil spirits from tortured souls.
Informal efforts to train more exorcists began under Pope John Paul II when the Vatican formally revised and upheld the rite for the first time in nearly 400 years, The Washington Post reported Mo...
Governor Bobby Jindal, architect of the Louisiana education voucher system that replaced public education, will explain to Republican conventioneers today how state funded Bible schools teaching children that the Loch Ness monster and dragons are rea...
It has just been reported that Chris Hansen, the man behind the news show Hansen Files seen Friday evenings on Dateline NBC is, most likely, possessed by the devil, who priests say entered his body during the taping of an upcoming expose on exorcisms...
Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat.
Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
The Daily Mail has long held the belief that Facebook is evil and the obvious cause of many atrocities. Now with half the UK population having signed up to Facebook, the newspaper has decided that banning it is probably not feasible.
Instead, the...
Bristol - (Last Frights): Thursday's Venus/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn will see Joanna Yeates' body receive extreme unction to avert bad karma in the forthcoming afterlife.
Unguents, incense and votive candles will form part of a ritual ablutio...
A local Satanist Cult has booked the Oklahoma Civic Center for October 21st, the closest date to Halloween they could get, to perform what they call a reverse exorcism. The group, which calls itself "Satan and the Majestic Mayhems" claims that it is...
In the first-ever public display of an exorcism, priests from Mel Gibson's own Church of the Holy Family will be exorcising Mel Gibson's demons in front of thousands of fans who paid the $57.85 ticket price to see it. The event, just announced this p...
Willowy pop princess Leona Lewis is bringing in an exorcist for her current Labyrinth tour after an old gypsy woman cursed the show.
The old gypsy woman was waiting outside the stage door of the first show in Sheffield, begging for change. When th...
Vatican - (Bell, Book 'N' Candelabra Mess): Top Spanish Inquisition waterboarder Father Gabriele Amorth has named Papal housekeeper Sister Ingrid 'La' Stampa as the satanic menace in the Vatican.
The church's chief exorcist said today he had a hun...
A Catholic Priest has performed an exorcism at Anfield in a bid to improve Liverpool's struggling form. After a run of defeats the club was prepared to try anything to turn things around.
Father Ian Rush sprinkled holy water over the two penalty s...
It was a horrendous scene on stage at the Oprah show. Disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had just been introduced to the audience when suddenly his eyes were filled with a strange, luminously evil, inhuman look and he started speaking with a...
Now that she has been protected against witchcraft herself, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is to use her powers 'to free America forever from the dark forces that threaten it abroad and at home,' The Spoof was informed today.
E...
Vietnam - (Bananaskin Mess): Future contestants in the Miss Universe pageant will be offered a state-of-the-art hex detox after Miss USA sponsors complained their luscious lovely's ass-over-tit tumble on the catwalk was the result of an ongoing c...
Pope Benedict XVI spent several hours at the White House in Washington, D.C., today. During this time His Holiness furtively performed one of the most historic exorcisms in the history of the Church.
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Pope Benedict XVI will have an opportunity to use his priestly powers when he exorcises President George Bush, Dick Cheney, John McCain and Britney Spears during his first pilgrimage to the United States as Pope.