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Funny story: Catholic Church to be Privatised

Catholic Church to be Privatised

The Catholic Church is to be floated on the Stock Market. Cardinal Karl Profiteri of the Holy See's Banca Ambrosiana has announced that the Church is going to be privatised. At a special conclave of bishops the vote was taken last April during th...
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Funny story: Vatican Official Claims to Have Exorcised 160K Demons: Demons File Class Action Suit

Vatican Official Claims to Have Exorcised 160K Demons: Demons File Class Action Suit

Fr. Gabriel Amorth, The Head of International Association of Exorcists which is a Vatican sanctioned organization has recently made the claim that he has rid the world of 160,000 demons and sent them back to Hell. Fr. Amorth was one of the exorcists...
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Funny story: Disgraced Cardinal sentenced to full Bell Book N Candle exorcism

Disgraced Cardinal sentenced to full Bell Book N Candle exorcism

The Gorbals, Glasgow - Demoted in the ranks for gross misconduct the former Primate of Scotland has been ordered into exile from his Scottish stamping ground for processing and re-assimilation at a Vatican exorcism. Ex-Cardinal Keith O'Brien will...
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Funny story: Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher Seen Again At 10, Downing Street!

Ghost Of Margaret Thatcher Seen Again At 10, Downing Street!

The ghost of Margaret Thatcher has again been reported seen at 10, Downing Street, this time by Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. A terrified Mr Clegg, who managed to escape into the street through a ground floor office window after being confronted...
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Funny story: Sweatin' Out Satan - America's struggle against evil and obesity

Sweatin' Out Satan - America's struggle against evil and obesity

Actual story from the Washington Post: WARSAW, Poland, Feb. 11 (UPI) -- Roman Catholic regions of Europe are seeing a resurgence of exorcism, the rite of expelling evil spirits from tortured souls. Informal efforts to train more exorcists began under Pope John Paul II when the Vatican formally revised and upheld the rite for the first time in nearly 400 years, The Washington Post reported Mo...
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Funny story: "Bring Your Pet Dinosaur Day," Louisiana Learning, Exorcism Highlights of Governor Jindal Speech to Republican Convention

"Bring Your Pet Dinosaur Day," Louisiana Learning, Exorcism Highlights of Governor Jindal Speech to Republican Convention

Governor Bobby Jindal, architect of the Louisiana education voucher system that replaced public education, will explain to Republican conventioneers today how state funded Bible schools teaching children that the Loch Ness monster and dragons are rea...
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Funny story: Chris Hansen Becomes Possessed During Taping of Hansen Files: Exorcisms Real or Hoax?

Chris Hansen Becomes Possessed During Taping of Hansen Files: Exorcisms Real or Hoax?

It has just been reported that Chris Hansen, the man behind the news show Hansen Files seen Friday evenings on Dateline NBC is, most likely, possessed by the devil, who priests say entered his body during the taping of an upcoming expose on exorcisms...
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Funny story: Costa Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company

Costa Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company

Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat. Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
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Funny story: Daily Mail starts fund to pay for Exorcism of Facebook

Daily Mail starts fund to pay for Exorcism of Facebook

The Daily Mail has long held the belief that Facebook is evil and the obvious cause of many atrocities. Now with half the UK population having signed up to Facebook, the newspaper has decided that banning it is probably not feasible. Instead, the...
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Funny story: Exorcism for Jo Yeates ahead of funeral

Exorcism for Jo Yeates ahead of funeral

Bristol - (Last Frights): Thursday's Venus/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn will see Joanna Yeates' body receive extreme unction to avert bad karma in the forthcoming afterlife. Unguents, incense and votive candles will form part of a ritual ablutio...
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Funny story: Local Oklahoma Satanist Cult to Perform Reverse Exorcism

Local Oklahoma Satanist Cult to Perform Reverse Exorcism

A local Satanist Cult has booked the Oklahoma Civic Center for October 21st, the closest date to Halloween they could get, to perform what they call a reverse exorcism. The group, which calls itself "Satan and the Majestic Mayhems" claims that it is...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Exorcism Planned for Saturday, Tickets Sold Out

Mel Gibson Exorcism Planned for Saturday, Tickets Sold Out

In the first-ever public display of an exorcism, priests from Mel Gibson's own Church of the Holy Family will be exorcising Mel Gibson's demons in front of thousands of fans who paid the $57.85 ticket price to see it. The event, just announced this p...
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Funny story: Leona Lewis tour is cursed

Leona Lewis tour is cursed

Willowy pop princess Leona Lewis is bringing in an exorcist for her current Labyrinth tour after an old gypsy woman cursed the show. The old gypsy woman was waiting outside the stage door of the first show in Sheffield, begging for change. When th...
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Funny story: Vatican exorcist names Papal housekeeper Ingrid Stampa

Vatican exorcist names Papal housekeeper Ingrid Stampa

Vatican - (Bell, Book 'N' Candelabra Mess): Top Spanish Inquisition waterboarder Father Gabriele Amorth has named Papal housekeeper Sister Ingrid 'La' Stampa as the satanic menace in the Vatican. The church's chief exorcist said today he had a hun...
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Funny story: Catholic Priest Performs Exorcism At Anfield

Catholic Priest Performs Exorcism At Anfield

A Catholic Priest has performed an exorcism at Anfield in a bid to improve Liverpool's struggling form. After a run of defeats the club was prepared to try anything to turn things around. Father Ian Rush sprinkled holy water over the two penalty s...
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Funny story: Ghost Of Nixon Tries To Possess Blagojevich - Exorcism Needed

Ghost Of Nixon Tries To Possess Blagojevich - Exorcism Needed

It was a horrendous scene on stage at the Oprah show. Disgraced Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had just been introduced to the audience when suddenly his eyes were filled with a strange, luminously evil, inhuman look and he started speaking with a...
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Funny story: Palin to exorcise foreign and domestic foes

Palin to exorcise foreign and domestic foes

Now that she has been protected against witchcraft herself, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is to use her powers 'to free America forever from the dark forces that threaten it abroad and at home,' The Spoof was informed today. E...
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Funny story: Complusory exorcism for Miss Universe contestants after second Miss USA hexed

Complusory exorcism for Miss Universe contestants after second Miss USA hexed

Vietnam - (Bananaskin Mess): Future contestants in the Miss Universe pageant will be offered a state-of-the-art hex detox after Miss USA sponsors complained their luscious lovely's ass-over-tit tumble on the catwalk was the result of an ongoing c...
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Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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