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My California Smelt Meal Ticket Is Here To Stay, Says Deeply Uncharismatic California University Professor

Davis, California - A UC Davis University professor who each year spends upwards of 2 million dollars extracting semen from the microscopic balls of three inch smelt fish says the extravagant expenses incurred by hapless tax payers and the massive d...

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French Environmentalists and Politicians Demand Cleaner-Burning Cars

After nearly a thousand cars were torched by French party animals celebrating the New Year, the country's environmentalists and politicians are demanding change. Addressing reporters on the Champs Elysee, environment minister Otto LaFlamme pointed...

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New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Funny story: New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...

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Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by Unfortunate Fashion Choice

Funny story: Environmentalist's Compelling Message Overshadowed by Unfortunate Fashion Choice

During a panel discussion on climate change and environmental ethics at Columbia Law School, environmentalist Chuck Perry's compelling message of universal interconnectedness and the devastating effect of animal agriculture on the environment was unf...

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Canadian Government Message to U.S.: Yukon Could Be Your Crimea

Funny story: Canadian Government Message to U.S.: Yukon Could Be Your Crimea

Ottawa (The Canadian Press) - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that Canada is making The Yukon open for foreign occupation leading to, it is hoped, peaceful annexation. Political analysts believe the move is an effort by Harper...

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Sharks released into Somerset floods by Environment Agency and Conservation Dept.

Funny story: Sharks released into Somerset floods by Environment Agency and Conservation Dept.

Twelve container loads of Large White Sharks have been released into the Somerset flood regions by conservationists. I spoke with an environment spokesperson who explained their actions: "These animals are natural clean up agents and will do a lo...

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We like Fracking and We like to Frack

Funny story: We like Fracking and We like to Frack

Another day another punning newspaper headline about shale gas extraction. The industry has been a godsend for copywriters everywhere. Said one fleet street hack, "the great thing about Fracking is that it's possible to replace the word 'fuck', with...

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Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Funny story: Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Nutterville DE: An ordinance was passed by the town council that prohibits idling a vehicle's engine for more than five minutes in a 60 minute period. Violations could result in a $100 fine. A town meeting was called to protest the town's rabid en...

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Nimby Removed from the Endangered Species List

Funny story: Nimby Removed from the Endangered Species List

Washington DC: The US Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) has removed the North American Blue Tailed Nimby from the Endangered Species List (ESL). A spokesperson for the USFWS indicated that removing the Nimby from the ESL was predicated on an unex...

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What The Frack Is Going On? Top Environmentalists Are Pushing For Fracking Around Los Angeles?

Funny story: What The Frack Is Going On? Top Environmentalists Are Pushing For Fracking Around Los Angeles?

A strange new development has occurred in the continued battle behind the oil industry and environmentalists over the use of fracking. Fracking, for those unfamiliar with the term, is the new art of pumping chemical laden water back into an undergrou...

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Sex for Undercover Police, if their cover is a 'blow job'!!

Funny story: Sex for Undercover Police, if their cover is a 'blow job'!!

Westminster Hall, LONDON: Home Office Minister, Nick Herbert, has importantly announced that Undercover Police, can have sex with suspects, if abstaining would 'blow job' their cover... Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA) allows un...

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Loft insulation installers want the regulations to be changed

Funny story: Loft insulation installers want the regulations to be changed

With less than a dozen houses left in Britain to have loft insulation installed to the recommended depth by the Government, loft insulation companies are lobbying for a change in the law. "We estimate that we have about two hours worth of work lef...

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Tasmanian Termite Placed on the Endangered Species List

Funny story: Tasmanian Termite Placed on the Endangered Species List

Washington DC: The US Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) has placed the Tasmanian termite on the endangered species list (ESL). These little buggers have illegally emigrated from Australia. Tasmanian termites, which are quite rare, are known as the...

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Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Funny story: Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity given to "green energy", oil giant Exxon has doubled its market share by using food dye to physically color its gasoline green. The move has been accompanied by a fanfare of publicity around Exxon's "Cl...

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24% more Americans now believe in hurricanes, says national poll

Funny story: 24% more Americans now believe in hurricanes, says national poll

New York -- Almost a quarter of the American population has shifted its views on the existence of hurricanes, according to a Harris poll conducted in the aftermath of hurricane Irene. The 24% rise brings the total of "hurricane believers" to ove...

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Obama: Babies Are F--king Up The Environment

Funny story: Obama: Babies Are F--king Up The Environment

President Obama has taken aim at what he calls "this nation's number one defiler of Mother Nature," and it is not the environmental cost of the 30 pounds of nickel and mercury in the Toyota Prius hybrid's batteries. It's babies.A Zero Emmissions V...

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Go Green Activists Have Actual Green Brains

Funny story: Go Green Activists Have Actual Green Brains

New York - Researchers have discovered that environmentalists and other people who like to "Go Green" actually have a green brain. It has been speculated for the past several years that these types of people might have a green brain. Now, it's...

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