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Funny story:  Workers complain that the unemployed are getting too physically fit

Workers complain that the unemployed are getting too physically fit

"I'm working 70 hours a week and have no time to work out, yet my worthless, unemployed neighbor looks like Mr. Universe. It's not fair," grumbled 36-year-old electrical engineer Angus Pasternak. "Ever since he was laid off, he does nothing but jog...
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Funny story:  Moonlight Becomes You!

Moonlight Becomes You!

According to the Mail On Sunday, that well known newspaper and emergency asswipe sheet, more than 23,000 Police staff are moonlighting in second jobs! This amounts to more than one in 10 officers in England and Wales now taking on extra work, incl...
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Funny story:  Olivia Black fired by 'Pawn Stars' shop causes surprise

Olivia Black fired by 'Pawn Stars' shop causes surprise

People in the public were surprised to hear that Olivia Black was fired by a pawn shop after racy photos of her surfaced online. 'Pawn Stars' shop runs a reality television show on the History Channel. Olivia Black's employment record for '...
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Funny story:  Nanny McPhee is loose in New York City

Nanny McPhee is loose in New York City

A woman, who recently escaped from the Central New York Psychiatric Center while being detained, is roaming the rich neighborhoods in the Upper West Side looking for a job as a nanny. A New York City police officer reports that she is using the na...
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Funny story:  Situations Vacant. Typical British Family Required

Situations Vacant. Typical British Family Required

A Typical British Family are needed by the Broadcasters' Audience Research Board to watch a number of pilots for next years proposed Saturday night tv schedules and to give their opinions. The sorry collection of feckless, moronic arseoles we seek should consist of at least one parent with a drink or substance abuse problem, a gum chewing teenage single mum who was thrown out of her brand n...
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Funny story:  Bank Worker Sacked for Lending a Colleague a Tenner till next Wednesday

Bank Worker Sacked for Lending a Colleague a Tenner till next Wednesday

Kevin Smalley, 48, a clerk at Natleys Bank has been dismissed from his job after a senior manager discovered that he had lent £10 to a fellow employee. The reciprocant of the loan, Wendy Smidgin, a sales counter assistant at the same branch, had m...
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Funny story:  Jobseeker's Allowance Now Paid in Biscuits

Jobseeker's Allowance Now Paid in Biscuits

David Cameron announced to the House of Commons yesterday the Tories latest plan to ensure that it always pays to work. 'Too many people on benefits see it as a free lunch,' said the Prime Minister. As of Friday, Jobseeker's Allowance will be paid in...
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Funny story:  President Obama Manages the Latest Government Scandals

President Obama Manages the Latest Government Scandals

Washington DC: President Obama has issued an executive order that all US civilian federal employees (civil service, political appointees, elected officials) and military personnel must become monastic (male and female monks) to retain their jobs.
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Funny story:  Situations Vacant. Senior Vagrant Required

Situations Vacant. Senior Vagrant Required

A park bench in the town centre of Dorking, Surrey has an exciting opening for an experienced gentleman of the road with at least 5 years experience of drunkeness and anti social behaviour under his piece of string belt. The purple faced stumblebum we seek should be able to display good muttering skills and be prepared to spend a good percentage of his/her time shouting at traffic or lying coma...
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Funny story:  Jobs are 'boring', says everyone

Jobs are 'boring', says everyone

Employment has been found to be buttock-clenchingly monotonous, a new study suggests. Last week many in employment noted that work is as dull as reading a Brontë book; this is in fact one definition of the term. Now a new study has been published showing that the things we do to earn money, is never the thing we want to do. What is surprising is that while work has been piling up and gett...
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Funny story:  Worst Ten Requests for a Raise

Worst Ten Requests for a Raise

The top 100 companies in America Have funded a Human Resource project looking at strategies for increasing personal income. Although there may be apparently good reasons to ask your boss for a raise, he or she may not always agree with you. Economics professor Hugh R. Fyred explains the top ten worst reasons you can give for a raise. 10. My Wife Wants a New Swimming Pool Your boss's spouse...
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Funny story:  New Government  Scheme Will Create Millions Of Jobs!

New Government Scheme Will Create Millions Of Jobs!

A new government jobs creation scheme is to be brought in this April. From April all current back-to-work schemes will be gradually phased out. Announcing the new scheme today Prime Minister David Cameron said he fully expects it to create millions o...
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Funny story:  Waistline expansion to create 60,000 jobs

Waistline expansion to create 60,000 jobs

Manufacturers and other employers look set for a welcome boost in employment figures - thanks to increasing obesity. Despite the current recession, waistlines have been expanding rapidly in the last year. Many people are now unable to wear no...
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Funny story:  Young People Apparently Want Jobs

Young People Apparently Want Jobs

Young people are being criticised by senior political figures for their evident desire to spend the majority of their waking hours following orders and carrying out unenviable tasks. "The lack of imagination is staggering," said Boris Johnson, May...
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Funny story:  Wisconsin lost more jobs in October, but Scott Walker still happy with his progress

Wisconsin lost more jobs in October, but Scott Walker still happy with his progress

Madison, Wis--Scott Walker was still touting the fact he didn't raise taxes to balance the budget. "I am the CEO of the state of Wisconsin and I am doing a great job. People should get off my back. I made the tough choices of sticking to union wor...
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Funny story:  "Evenin' All!" - Shop workers enticed to train as special constables for 2012

"Evenin' All!" - Shop workers enticed to train as special constables for 2012

The Metropolitan Police have asked retailers to free up shop staff on full pay (minimum wage?) to work as special constables with full Police powers...as in 'cannon fodder'...during the olympic Games debacle. The programme called (ironically) ESP...
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Funny story:  Future job creator wasting time in Congress

Future job creator wasting time in Congress

Washington D.C.--Rep. Paul Ryan is wasting his talents as a potential job creator by spending all his free time trying to stick it to poor and middle-class Americans by creating bills that only help increase his own personal wealth. "I know that I...
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Funny story:  GOP's new job plan is out of this world

GOP's new job plan is out of this world

On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Speaker of the House John Boehner and Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnel outlined their plan to stimulate the economy and create new jobs. Among such controversial issues as not raising taxes on the u...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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