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Funny satire stories about elves

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Funny story:  Father Christmas using Elf Labour - Sunday Tabloid.

Father Christmas using Elf Labour - Sunday Tabloid.

Santa Claus admitted using Elves and Pixies with no N.I. numbers to an undercover reporter working for The Sunday Leftovers. 100,000 elves were freed by police and granted bail, pending an investigation by Immigration Control. Santa is thought by som...
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Funny story:  Megyn Kelly Says That Half of Santa's Elves Are Gay

Megyn Kelly Says That Half of Santa's Elves Are Gay

NEW YORK CITY - FOX News reporter Megyn Kelly not content with her pervious controversial comments has now stated that she knows for a fact that half of Santa's elves are gay. The 43-year-old reporter was asked by American Spotlight Magazine's Fit...
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Funny story:  Santa Laying Off 30% of US Elves on Shelves

Santa Laying Off 30% of US Elves on Shelves

North Pole, Inc. today announced drastic workforce reductions and re-alignment of strategic assets, following years of stagnant revenues. Analysts had expected spending cuts for several months but not this close to Christmas. The US Elf on a Shelf D...
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Funny story:  Santa Claus & Reindeer All Died Last Year

Santa Claus & Reindeer All Died Last Year

Although it was kept secret for almost a whole year, Santa Claus and all his reindeer plus three, some say as many as six elves died last year in a terrible accident. It was only when several spy agencies began comparing notes that they finally be...
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Funny story:  Santa arrested in Savile probe

Santa arrested in Savile probe

As the list of celebrities linked to the ongoing investigation into Jimmy Savile grows, it was revealed today that Santa Claus had been arrested by police. Santa, real name Father Christmas, was arrested with regard to offences dating back to the...
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Funny story:  The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip

The List of Ten Christmas Movies You May Want To Skip

The Christmas gift company Christmas Bells & Whistles has just mailed out its yearly catalog which contains over 16,000 Christmas gifts, including 97, which are brand new for the 2011 holiday season. The catalog contains over 700 pages and lists everything from armadillo shaped Christmas cookie cutters to green and red stripped zebra pajamas. One of last years biggest sellers was the Ho...
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Funny story:  Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge

Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge

"A pox on their house," was the reaction of Mr. Claus when he found out he wouldn't be hired by one Midwestern town in the U. S. this year. He controlled his language in consideration of Mrs. Claus, who was standing at his side when he got the news.
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Funny story:  National Christmas Tree Toppling on Saturday; Who or What Is to Blame?

National Christmas Tree Toppling on Saturday; Who or What Is to Blame?

The wind did it. So they say. Hogwash! It wasn't the wind at all. It was a group of elves from Santa's workshop who made a quick visit from the North Pole to Washington, D.C., and knocked down the tree. Why? you ask. Chief Elf Elvis, at a p...
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Funny story:  Santa Claus Loses Four Elves to Inuit Hunters

Santa Claus Loses Four Elves to Inuit Hunters

North Pole - Santa will be short-handed going into the last phases of toy build-out this year. It seems that a hunting party of Inuits shot four of Santa's elves, mistakenly identifying the elves as seals. Nanook, the head of the hunting party,...
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Funny story:  End of the Rainbow elves sue Obama

End of the Rainbow elves sue Obama

The elves who reside at the end of the rainbow have filed a lawsuit against the Obama administration. The elves are claiming that his secret service broke into there houses in the middle of the night and confiscated all the gold they have saved u...
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Funny story:  Elves Vow To Strike

Elves Vow To Strike

North Pole - Stanislaw Ladvigdar, President of E.L.F. Local 212, stated that the elves have been working under the same contract for the last 300 years and if a new contract isn't offered by midnight tonight, they are going to go on strike. The El...
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Funny story:  Santa's Elves are Stupid Little Bastards

Santa's Elves are Stupid Little Bastards

It's official! Santa Claus' North Pole elf workers are a bunch of stupid little annoying bastards. The miniature freaks toil all day and night in cramped workshops in sub-zero temperatures for the Christmas season but still find time to appear in Sa...
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Funny story:  Stunning discovery of ancient 'Hobbit' bones in the Shire raises anthropological questions

Stunning discovery of ancient 'Hobbit' bones in the Shire raises anthropological questions

Radiocarbon dating suggests tiny, barefoot people lived as peaceful, beer-drinking farmers and gardeners over three thousand years ago.
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Funny story:  Next Little King Gig - Uranus!

Next Little King Gig - Uranus!

Forget the plans for the Roosevelt Hotel, in La La Land,Ca; the elf formerly known as a singer/guitar playing Jehovah's Witness says he wants to take his show on the road, to Uranus!...
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