Boston, Massachusetts - (Lunacies): Ten years ago an eclipsed full moon snaffled up the life of his drug addict sister Leila - in a seedy London hotel overdose.
Today another powerful celestial aspect has seen the suicide of Alireza Pahlavi, young...
Horror in the UK this morning as astronomy call centres were swamped with calls relating that the the moon and the sun had actually collided within a minute of daybreak. There seems to be general agreement that the sun appears to have swallowed the m...
Sandringham, Norfolk - (Aneurysms): The imminent solar eclipse is playing havoc with the Queen, who has been diagnosed Whorse de Combat with congenital swine flu.
Palace physicians fear her Circle of Wallis arteries at the base of the brain have b...
Area 51, Nevada - (Cool Yule News): NASA HQ sources said today a huge
breakaway chunk of black opal from Halley's Comet has been detected orbiting the periphery of the moon.
Its emergence comes ahead of the Winter Solstice lunar eclipse on Tuesd...
London - (Yule-Be-Sorry!): The mood is grim at Hellfire Club HQ ahead of Tuesday's solar ingress into Capricorn.
Ancient files published this week describe the Illuminatis' rage of 1554 when some dimwit last dared leak their sordid secrets.
The...
London - (Snake-in-the-Grass News): Hellfire Club grandees are hotfooting it to the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain tonight.
Thursday's 21.57BST eclipse of the brightest star in the Ophihchus constellation 'could be really bad shit,' however, for...
Space - (Rattlesnake News): Terrible karmic portents for Twilight/Eclipse stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart!
A rare occultation by the asteroid Roma on the night of 8th July will completely obliterate sight of Delta Ophiuchi, fourth-br...
The release this week of the latest instalment in the Twilight saga, 'Eclipse' means that its youthful acting triumvirate of Pattinson, Stewart, and Lautner look set to take over the media yet again, for some time to come.
Whilst this is undoubted...
Pics circulating on the net of RPatz and KStew in a steamy clinch have twilight fans in a frenzy. The couple are definitely steaming up the windows in the shack this time!
In one of the pictures from Twighlight Eclipse, the 23 year old RPatz is c...
The internet release of the trailer for the third instalment in the Twilight series, Eclipse had technicians the world over working flat out to sustain internet services as an estimated 11 billion people tuned in to see where Rob Patz, K Stew, Tay La...
The rumour mills here at Skoob Towers cranked into overdrive today following intimations that Twilight stars Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were considering legal action against the Administrator of your favourite Spoofy news website, based on the...
Sandringham House - (Rioters): "Hahaha, bet you fifty squid I'll live to 100!"
But Old Fatty Mountbatten's confident riposte today has seen Hellfire Club astrologers rush to their online Ephemeris tables to check for the Doomsday Alignment in HM'...
London - (Off-the-Wall-Street): The 07.11GMT occultation at 25 degrees Capricorn is expected to be the defining moment of the new decade.
The dramatic celestial floorshow will be followed swiftly by the 09.02am suspension of global markets as a fl...
Buckingham Palace - (Penumbral Eclipse Mess): The search for CIA-hired drug dealers who dispatched Michael Jackson to anaesthetic oblivion is over.
Two of the toxic desperados have been caught on Palace CCTV cranking HM the Queen's arm and shootin...
Los Angeles - (Hellfire Club Mess): An awesome lunar eclipse in the sign of Capricorn plus 'terrifying' 7/7 numerology are making US/UK specious relationshp string-pullers very, very twitchy indeed ahead of the Michael Jackson funeral circus.
"7/7...