A huge water bird returning from its midday feast had to make an emergency landing on Lake Windermere yesterday.
The flying duck panicked on its way back as it neared the landing area and started to flap its wings.
"It was flapping like mad,...
NOGALES, Arizona - There is no better example of a person putting his foot in his mouth that Gilbert Gottfried.
After making his sickingly sick non-joke about the Japanese tsunami the man with what has to be the most irritatingly grating voice in...
Phone rings.
Receptionist (R): Hello.
Customer(C): Hello, I want to see the doctor.
R: No, sorry, you must have the wrong number.
C: Sorry, I'll hang up.
Phone rings again.
R: Hello.
C: Hello. Can I see the doctor?
R: How can I help you?
C: You said it was the wrong number just now.
R: Ah. That's our new rigorous customer interface. It sorts out the serious from the t...
Even when he was an egg, Ollie knew he was different to the other ducklings.
For a start, his egg was slightly bluish whilst their's were pure brilliant white. Even more obvious, was the size. His egg filled the nest pushing his brothers and sisters to the edge of the nest.
Mother Duck loved them all equally, even though Ollie looked different. Where his brothers and sisters were fluffy and...
Gene Jenkins has dominated the game of duck duck goose for 27 years. Jenkins began his triumphant career in the popular children's game when he was 6 years old at the National Elementary School D.D.G. Championship in Orlando, Florida. His very likabl...
ONXARD, California - Eastley P. Dinwiddie, spokesperson for The Southern California Chicken Farmers Coalition has stated that many nationally well known chicken restaurants are closing in honor of International Respect For Chicken Day.
The holiday...
WEST COVINA, California - Gilbert Gottfried can still not believe how utterly stupid he was to have ever made the mean and cruel remarks that he made regarding the victims of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.
He reportedly conveyed that to his...
Following the last installment of the ever-so infrequent series on 'Best Ways to Use Your Slow Cooker the Best' we can take great delight in providing further recipes to tingle your taste buds.
Slowbread
This is very much like Shortbread, but cooked in a much slower fashion. Using the same ingredients; white sugar, butter, and oatmeal flour (or plain white (wheat) flour if you prefer). This...
The world's oldest living ruler, Rufus T. Firefly, passed away at his home in Freedonia yesterday. Firefly has been the President of Freedonia since 1933 and guided the nation through it's bankruptcy and war with neighboring Sylvania. He was 150 ye...
A Harlingen area family was left puzzled on Sunday when a duck decoy they had placed in their backyard to attract real ducks failed to perform to plan.
Christopher and Adriana Baker were both approached by their two young children early that after...
Conservative MP for Gosport, Sir Peter Viggers has become the latest victim of the MP 'snouts in the trough' expenses scandal following revelations that he claimed thousands of pounds of taxpayers money for the garden at his Stubbington home.
Outr...
Alistair Darling today denied rumours he was to set a duck loose at this week's meeting of the G20 nations in London, England.
It is traditional for finance ministers to play a practical joke on the final day, but the chancellor denied he had plan...
Consternation today amongst Twitchers and locals alike in the village of Spoof On Why as a dirty duck invaded the pond on the village green and proceeded to intimidate the local duck population.
Local pond-watcher, conservationist, and cross-dress...
NEW YORK CITY, NY - "This just goes to show how quick people are to judge," quacks Jerry, a blue duck from "the other side of the pond." He claims he and his friend Ben have been falsely labeled gay by so-called duck experts and by the media.
The...
AP NEWSLIAR (Wash. DC) -- Ducks nationwide have filed a class-action lawsuit against the People of the United States. The lawsuit charges that use of the phrase "lame duck" in reference to the soon-to-be over Bush administration constitutes slander.
Many US Presidential administrations have experienced a decline in influence in their final year. Thus the term,lame duck came into being.
Even twice elected Presidents have had to face some dimunition in their prestige and power. But Presidentia...
Rock star Ted Nugent surprized everyone in a local Michigan Walmart when he rode in on a gigantic duck just a few days ago.
"Woooo-Haw!" yelled the musician. "This is sure one son of a bitchin big duck! Bet they don't do THIS in France!"
Nugen...
An exclusive restaurant for wild ducks is to open in Worcester, it was announced today.