The new Archbishop of Glastonbury has spoken of how his life has changed since he discovered that his pet bears had been secretly drinking.
The Most Rev Jasper Selby has had three pet bears (Bruin, Cuddly and Yogi) for 10 years. They've always bee...
The House of Commons has issued a short statement reacting angrily after the arrest of Eric Joyce at the Commons karaoke night, since he denied being drunk at the time of the incident.
"There is no way any self-respecting public official or profes...
HMS Astute, Southampton: Police investigations, carried out by the Hampshire Constabulary have found out that the consumption of 20 pints of cider was not unsual for naval ratings and "significant" numbers of the crew used to get "drunk out of their...
SPRINGIELD, Massachusetts (ABSNN) - A nude dancer performing an "amazing, near flawless split" accidentally passed gas and nearby table candles ignited the fart "causing a huge natural gas explosion at the Scores Gentlemen's Club," say fire fighters...
All is the way it should be!
In the heart of every West Virginian is a storyteller. Our most famous spinner of yarns was the incomparable Pearl S. Buck. And while I'm no Pearl Buck; I do spin yarns. In my heart, dear readers, lives a poet. Unfortunately for you folks, that verser is a failed poet.
My haiku is astoundingly bad. My free verse should be chained and hidden in a forgotten...
Isle of Dogs, London - The drink-sodden, vomit-splattered Barry Humphries-esque character is seen stumbling from a London internet cafe following a ruck with management.
Sixty seconds of effing and blinding immortalized on a YouBoob! vid is set to...
Something that hasn't escaped Back and to the Left news attention is that children, of all ages and sexes, are inherently stupid.
It seems new scientific studies are being conducted all the time with children as their main subjects. The findings...
GRAYSON COUNTY, Texas - It appears that country singer Randy Travis not only sings down and out country music songs, but he is now actually starting to live them out.
The 53-year-old crooner has just been arrested for a second time this year.
With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today.
The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...
An elderly man is staggering along the street, carrying a moose's head and humming the theme tune to The Forsyte Saga.
A police Sergeant appears with a Constable.
Sergeant: 'Now then now then my lad. What's all this here then, eh? I'm going to have to ask you to blow into this here balloon.'
The man blows the balloon up. It turns out to be one of those long twisty ones.
Sergeant: 'See...
The time is 6 pm, and my location is Leeds, West Yorkshire, England. I have been commissioned by this magazine to investigate the British phenomenon of binge drinking. I will be reporting my experiences electronically in real time to our head office.
Unfortunately, to infiltrate this world, I need to drink copious amounts of alcohol. This will enable me to be totally accepted by the local sharp...
Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50%
"We felt an obligation to...
Mitt Romney's Mormon Holy Quest to lock down the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was sharply undercut this morning when eight Iowans who had apparently participated in caucus while under the influence of various dance club substances woke up...
EMMAUS PA - News from the Broad Street Saloon in Emmaus, PA is backing up global warming, despite the cooked results previously reported. Scientists there noticed that while drinking scotch on the rocks, that the rocks melted. As this melt transpir...
Dissatisfied by the meager wages they receive for their services delivering tweets all around the world, Twitter birdies have become entrepreneurs and have trademarked their own version of the dreaded "over capacity" message sometimes displayed on th...
Police tonight revealed that top internet news site The Spoof is to be investigated in the phone-hacking scandal.
An inquiry launched in the wake of alleged phone-hacking has heard details suggesting that the illegal practice was widespread. Noteb...
Local man, wastrel, ne'er do well, habitual drunkard, gambler, closet homosexual, dwarf, malcontent, former football hooligan, philanderer, alleged rapist, and alleged torturer of puppies and kittens, Martin Shuttlecock, this evening announced that h...
Heavy drinking MPs are often so sozzled they can barely stand up in the Commons, a Tory MP claimed last night.
In an interview in one of the House of Commons 14 bars, a Tory MP who cannot be named for security reasons said; "Many stagger into the...