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Funny satire stories about drinking

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Hillary Clinton and I really went on a booze bender for a couple of days!

Funny story: Hillary Clinton and I really went on a booze bender for a couple of days!

I was driving down Route 94 through Detroit a couple days ago and something that looked like a witch flew out of the shadows and attached itself to my car. "What in the mudder-fried hell?!!!" screamed and thundered through my head. I was scared s...

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Man Spends Hours Writing Piece He Knows is Unpublishable

Funny story: Man Spends Hours Writing Piece He Knows is Unpublishable

34 year old Jamie Gahron spent 3 hours last Thursday night working on an article for an online publisher, knowing just a couple sentences in, that the piece was a wash. But instead of moving on to a different subject Jamie made himself another dr...

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Canadian claims disability allowance after sprouting antlers

Funny story: Canadian claims disability allowance after sprouting antlers

Toronto, Canada - An otherwise healthy 30-something male is claiming state disability handouts after waking one morning to find that he'd grown a pair of antlers on his head. Harley Broomsdork said the 18-inch, Monarch-of-the-Glen-style protrubera...

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Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Funny story: Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Research is important because the results can be quite revealing. Studies have repeatedly proved that what is taken for granted by common sense turns out to be mistaken. The most famous example is, of course, the shifting from the geocentric to th...

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Nevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12

Funny story: Nevada to Lower Drinking Age to 12

CARSON CITY, NV - Nevada Governor, Brian Sandoval, announced today that Nevada will lower the legal drinking age in Nevada from 21 to 12. The announcement came shortly after Colorado announced that it reaped $2.1 million from marijuana sales in J...

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Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

Funny story: Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

DENVER - Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper has just informed all of the law enforcement departments in the state that no one will be taking vacations the week of Spring Break. The governor stressed that the state is expecting upwards of 6 millio...

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Leprechauns are Gearing Up for St. Patrick's Day

Funny story: Leprechauns are Gearing Up for St. Patrick's Day

BLARNEY, IRELAND - With only one month until Lá Fhéile Pádraig, leprechauns are gearing up for their annual vacation day off. For 364 days a year they are humbler cobblers, but on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, they are allowed to descend on the wor...

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Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Funny story: Alcohol Makes You Lose Brain Cells? Not According To Idiot/Savant!

Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...

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Christina Aguilera Denies The Blake Shelton Rumors

Funny story: Christina Aguilera Denies The Blake Shelton Rumors

HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera has lost a tremendous amount of weight and everyone has told her that she is looking very, very sexy. One of those individuals who is giving her some very nice compliments is her fellow The Voice cast member Blake "T...

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First "Man Cave" Found in Southern France

Funny story: First "Man Cave" Found in Southern France

While they are all the rage amongst "He Men" nowadays, the first ever Man Cave was unearthed this month near Lyon-de-terre, France. The crew broke through an ancient wall exposing an undisturbed setting from 12,000 years ago. The excavators marve...

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A Retired Tulsa Teacher Wins The National Tabasco Drinking Contest But Loses Both of Her Perfectly Good Tonsils

Funny story: A Retired Tulsa Teacher Wins The National Tabasco Drinking Contest But Loses Both of Her Perfectly Good Tonsils

TULSA, Oklahoma - Local resident Emily Normina Sarkensiggle, 43, was both thrilled and saddened by a recent event. Miss Sarkensiggle who is engaged to Darnell Oldenheimer, 51, won this year's National Tabasco Drinking Contest, which is held every...

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Lindsay Lohan Denies She's Fallen Off The Wagon

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Denies She's Fallen Off The Wagon

NEW YORK CITY - Lindsay Lohan and a group of her friends were seen partying at the Sing Sing Karoke Club in New York City. Lohan actually got up and sang the Dolly Parton song which was later covered by Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You."...

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That Budgie of Mine

That Budgie Harold of mine, forever drinking and all the time. A squirt of whisky, a glug of Guinness it's surprise at all he's still here with us. There he go a shouhy loud at regulare passer-by, shouby in the morning tide this budgie who imbibe. But what else for a bird who sing and squawk and scream, we hang him by the lamppost bright and watch him gently dream. God Harold, noddy...

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Miranda Lambert Tells Hubby Blake Shelton To Cut Back On His Beer Drinking Or Else She'll Be Gone Like The Wind

Funny story: Miranda Lambert Tells Hubby Blake Shelton To Cut Back On His Beer Drinking Or Else She'll Be Gone Like The Wind

NASHVILLE - There appears to be some trouble a-brewin' in the Blake Shelton-Miranda Lambert household. Word from a very reliable, inside source tells Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that the little bitty Miranda has just about had her fill of the tall drin...

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Lindsay Lohan Caught Playing Hide and Seek In Brazil

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Caught Playing Hide and Seek In Brazil

SAN PAULO, Brazil - It appears that rehab-bound Lindsay Lohan is not quite ready to hang up her drinking glass just yet. The Hollywood starlet known as The Freckle Faced Train Wreck flew down to Brazil (no pun intended) to film a commercial for Yu...

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Conga Collision At Essex Pub Leaves Dozens Injured!

Funny story: Conga Collision At Essex Pub Leaves Dozens Injured!

Two people have been seriously injured with dozens more left bruised and shaken after two lines of conga dancers collided head-on outside a pub in Loughton, Essex just after midnight. The collision, at Loughton's 'The Red Lion' public house occur...

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Russell Brand Says He Can't Help His Charles Manson Stare

Funny story: Russell Brand Says He Can't Help His Charles Manson Stare

EL SEGUNDO - Russell Brand was sitting in The Second Base Bar when he was approached by the bar manager. Brand was told by Guido Gunafoochee that he needed to tone down his enthusiasm a bit as he was using way too many curse words and there were s...

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The Reason Lindsay Lohan and Her Mom Got Into A Big Fight

Funny story: The Reason Lindsay Lohan and Her Mom Got Into A Big Fight

LONG ISLAND, New York - Lindsay Lohan is a perfect example of that old Cambodian saying "Like mother - like daughter." Lohan, who seems to stay on the front page, got in to a verbal altercation with her lookalike mom Dina Lohan, 49, just outside o...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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