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Funny satire stories about doughnuts

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Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

Funny story: Early on, Planet Earth looked like a giant jelly doughnut, scientists theorize

The latest in science news theorizes that the earth was originally a Synestia - it took on a giant jelly doughnut shape early in its history, about 4.5 billion years ago. Some scientists believe the earth was originally a blob of mostly vaporized...

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Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

Funny story: Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

A man who ate doughnuts before having lunch has appeared before Bolton Crown Court to be sentenced. Twisted Luke Smith, of Sharnford Close, Bolton, indulged in the sugary delights on Friday 15th May 2015 just before lunch time. The 21-year-old...

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Police officer sues Starbucks for million dollars. Gained 300 pounds on free doughnuts!

The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting this morning that a Raleigh police officer is suing Starbucks for one million dollars. His lawsuit states that he gained over three hundred pounds in three years from free donuts he had been given at the...

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Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Funny story: Krusty Kremepie was "just klowning around" with KKK kampaign

Krusty Kremepie Klub spells "KKK." It also spells BIG TROUBLE for the doughnuts franchise. A Krusty Kremepie location in the United Kingdom (aka Great Britain, aka the British Isles, aka England) has halted a "promotion" for its Krusty Kremepie...

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Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

Funny story: Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

According to a leading nutrition expert, Mars Langston, people should eat all the good-tasting junky food they like and pop a few vitamins jellies. "You will live about five years longer if you eat healthy but it's just not worth it! Much of that...

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Tennessee Policeman Hates His Job

Funny story: Tennessee Policeman Hates His Job

"If the money wasn't so good and all the fun we have with the speed traps, I'd leave this job in a minute", stated Nashville, Tennessee officer Douglas Lancaster. "I agree", stated his partner. "I blame it on all those 911 calls that we get from e...

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Area Man Chokes To Death On Doughnut Hole

Funny story: Area Man Chokes To Death On Doughnut Hole

Nafus, Illinois: Local resident Robert Reeves dropped dead as a hammer after running from 'The Do-Nut Shack' on Ohio Street all the way to the Casino Boat and into the lobby. Mr. Reeves was pronounced dead by at least a dozen doctors who had a con...

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NASA Says Mystery Rock on Mars Is an Old Jelly Doughnut

Funny story: NASA Says Mystery Rock on Mars Is an Old Jelly Doughnut

First the word was that the "discovered" rock looked like a jelly doughnut. Read the story at the San Jose Mercury News: "Jelly doughnut" rock on Mars suddenly appears That's old news, as NASA is now reporting that further investigation has rev...

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Michelle Obama Will Turn 50 Soon & Not Pleased!

Funny story: Michelle Obama Will Turn 50 Soon & Not Pleased!

First lady Michelle Obama will be the guest of honor at a White House dance party next month when she turns "50 and fabulous" but looks more like "50 and frustrated". She's still not all that happy about the Prime Minister of Denmark flirting with...

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North Korea nuclear plant is only a Doughnut Factory

Funny story: North Korea nuclear plant is only a Doughnut Factory

Washington: A US report that North Korea has built a new nuclear facility is apparently flawed. A re-examination of the report suggests rather, a giant doughnut factory is in place. Pyongyang's Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il, is known as a huge doughnut ea...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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