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Funny story:  Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Further deaths from an outbreak of Rionnaires' disease are highly likely, doctors warned yesterday. The recent outbreak is centred on Heathrow, and the number of confirmed cases rose to 157 (although some have been lost). And there are still thous...
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Funny story:  I didn't have sexual relations with that cucumber

I didn't have sexual relations with that cucumber

A man in Spain is receiving treatment in hospital after an angry mob of Cucumber farmers descended on his home and forced him to move out of the village. Local Farmers accuse Hector Julio Fernandez of contaminating their cucumber stock with e-coli...
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Funny story:  Secondary School Biology Experiment Leads to New Pathogen

Secondary School Biology Experiment Leads to New Pathogen

COVENTRY, W. MIDS., ENG. - A local secondary school has caused the entire Coventry city area to be put on lockdown after a new mutation has caused a harmless bacteria to morph into a pathogen. The pathogen classified as X/11-G, after the room (X)...
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Funny story:  Critics Unsatisfied With Obama's Birth Certificate Revelation Now Demand Shot Records

Critics Unsatisfied With Obama's Birth Certificate Revelation Now Demand Shot Records

"Birthers" and other critics of U.S. President Barack Obama are upset that his birth certificate revelation this week has shut down their arguements and conspiracy theories. Undaunted, the group is seeking other avenues to remove "this country's wor...
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Funny story:  Scientists make Malaria discovery

Scientists make Malaria discovery

Scientists from Harvard and Boston have announced a potential breakthrough in the fight against malaria. This has resulted in yet another 'proof' of 'evolution' being consigned to a toilet which is by now needing a good rodding out. Scientists...
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Funny story:  Not All Just Sick With Legionnaire's Disease After Playboy Mansion Party

Not All Just Sick With Legionnaire's Disease After Playboy Mansion Party

Those nearly one hundred guests at a big party last week at the Playboy Mansion, who were previously thought to have come down with Legionnaires Disease, do not all have it according to a Doctor Harold Linsberg who is in charge in finding the cause...
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Funny story:  Clean as a whistle

Clean as a whistle

Scientists at Manchester University of Science and Technology have asked that the phrase "Clean as a Whistle" be changed to Clean as Anything Other than a Whistle after a month long study into the bacteria that grow inside whistles. "Whistles are...
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Funny story:  JLS Fashion Disease Sweeping U.K.

JLS Fashion Disease Sweeping U.K.

A new fashion craze is sweeping the country faster than the Black Death, with the potential consequences being quoted as 'equally as disastrous.' Those most in danger are teenage boys and young adult men, who are being targeted by High Street stores...
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Funny story:  Ode to West Nile Virus

Ode to West Nile Virus

An Ode to a Certain Malevolent Maladie on the Occasion of a Major Epidemic that has Acquired a Pathogenicity that Imperils Mankind Across the Globe and May Destroy Civilization as It Is Known to Us Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Percival Blink, Esq. to His Most Excellent, Gracious Majesty, Humbert II, as He Succumbs to Ye Ol...
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Funny story:  Millions in UK struck by fatal disease

Millions in UK struck by fatal disease

Half of the UK's workforce ground to a halt today, including yours truly, as the population were confined to beds. Manflu, also known as "Extremely Fatal Disease" to men, and "Non-existent phenomena for a day off" to women, struck us all down, lea...
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Funny story:  Brutal New Strain of Disease Headed for Britain

Brutal New Strain of Disease Headed for Britain

Shock as a deadly new disease promises to cause thousands of sore heads; a million runny noses and an excuse for pupils to skive school: Pope Flu is heading for the UK. The deadly new flu is thought to have begun after the Pope was seen coughing d...
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Funny story:  Isle of Wight News - Newby Nature Notes

Isle of Wight News - Newby Nature Notes

NEWBY NATURE NOTES: by Billy Murray What do birds and bats have in common? Eyes. Birds enjoy flying around and not bumping into things, but bats don't use their eyes for the same purpose. Bats use a type of radar in order to achieve the same result. However, since the discovery of the white-nose syndrome in bats found living in Newby village, Isle of Wight, there is a possiblity...
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Funny story:  Bees Allergic To Pollen

Bees Allergic To Pollen

The decline in bee populations is probably due to over-exposure to pollen, the Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman probably claimed today. Bee populations have been shrinking in recent years and lobby groups have pressed for government funding...
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Funny story:  Measles Is Brain-washing Paranoid Parents Into Not Vaccinating Children!

Measles Is Brain-washing Paranoid Parents Into Not Vaccinating Children!

The truth is out there and this intrepid reporter has found it whispering in her ear. My children's well check appointments are coming up, including the always painful vaccinations. But I am finding that little viruses and bacteria are telling me to not vaccinate, because it will cause Autism. I only noticed that they were whispering these scare tatics in my ear when I had a dream and they...
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Funny story:  The return of rickets: Victorian disease on the rise

The return of rickets: Victorian disease on the rise

A lack of diet and exercise has seen the return of rickets a popular disease of the victorian era. The consumption of fatty foods and the unwillingness of people to move very much has led to its return. People in the North of England are proving...
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Funny story:  Leading Scientist - "Water causes cancer"

Leading Scientist - "Water causes cancer"

Today scientists have announced that they have discovered a major breakthrough in Cancer research. For years cancer researchers worldwide have strained their minds looking for a common denominator to link all forms of cancer. Today leading onc...
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Funny story:  Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

A new report from the Surgeon Colonel is that they have completed a major study that links breathing to Pinworms Disease. "It's almost 100%", stated S.G. to this reporter. "Two in the study have disappeared and we can't find them, but 100% of the...
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Funny story:  As old as time? Aspartame disease plagued Pharaoh's court

As old as time? Aspartame disease plagued Pharaoh's court

WASHINGTON DC - According to sources at FDA, you can't blame this one on the FDA: Researchers have found signs of aspartame disease -- normally thought of as a modern disease caused by toxic artificial sweeteners protected by the FDA-- in 3,700-year-...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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