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Funny satire stories about diamonds

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Funny story: $50m giant blue diamond 'is paste' say auctioneers

$50m giant blue diamond 'is paste' say auctioneers

South Africa - A huge and immensely rare 29.6 carat blue diamond found near Pretoria's Biltong Boerewors mine has turned out to be a fake according to auctioneers charged with selling it. Dubbed the Biltong Blue the massive sky-colored lump of car...
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Funny story: Rihanna Debuts Her New 'Mouthy' Toy

Rihanna Debuts Her New 'Mouthy' Toy

DETROIT - Rihanna told the audience at The Carburetor Coliseum that she had a surprise for them. And then she opened her mouth wide open and flashed her teeth. And right away the venue filled with a chorus of widespread oohs and aahs as they could...
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Funny story: South African man smuggles diamonds in his belly and not on the "souls of his shoes!"

South African man smuggles diamonds in his belly and not on the "souls of his shoes!"

A South African man was caught smuggling diamonds in his belly instead of listening to Paul Simon's classic, "Diamonds on the soles of her shoes," before trying to trick bright, shiny customs officers! He was caught attempting to leave South Afric...
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Funny story: Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'

Rare yellow diamond 'is a fake'

Geneva - A plot to flog off a 'rare yellow diamond' has gone pear-shaped Interpol sources said today. Brilliant refraction by the 110.3 carat 'Sun Dance Squid' - said to resemble an octopus' testicles, er...tentacles! - makes the stone worth an e...
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Funny story: Mockingbird Sings, So Woman Doesn't Get Diamond Ring

Mockingbird Sings, So Woman Doesn't Get Diamond Ring

A woman in Montreal is upset with her husband due to his recent present to her of a mockingbird for her birthday. When she received the gift, her spouse promised Elaine Tucker that "it won't sing." He also told her that if it fulfilled this conditi...
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Funny story: Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry appraised only to discover - all pieces are fake

Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry appraised only to discover - all pieces are fake

After close examination of the late Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry a spokesman for her estate made this announcement, "I am embarrassed to tell you that we have had Ms. Taylor's jewelry appraised and were shocked to be told that every piece is 'fake'. Apparently, Ms. Taylor had to pawn her collection piece by piece over the past 5 or 6 years, in order to pay medical bills, staff wages etc. It...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks

Lindsay Lohan Steals Diamond-Studded Socks

Lindsay Lohan is yet again in hot water, this time for stealing a $2,000 pair of black diamond-studded silk socks from Kinesha's Diamond Studding Studio on Rodeo Drive. Kinesha DeJuan Washington is the owner of the upscale diamond studding store and...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan is a Thrill Seeker

Lindsay Lohan is a Thrill Seeker

Lindsay "Thrill Seeker" Lohan just has to have her fingers in the cookie jar somehow. She's not content with getting a cookie and enjoying it. No, she has to get the cookie when her mother has told her "no more cookies". The cookies she gets without...
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Funny story: Pink diamond bought for $29 million was purchased by an ex - Brit Tramp/Clochard!

Pink diamond bought for $29 million was purchased by an ex - Brit Tramp/Clochard!

The world's most expensive diamond that was auctioned for a record price at Sotheby's was purchased by an ex-Brit tramp who moved to Paris and became a clochard, then moved to Switzerland and became a billionaire! This is an amazing story of rags...
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Funny story: Diamonds Are A Kanye's Best Ill Grill Friend

Diamonds Are A Kanye's Best Ill Grill Friend

HOLLYWOOD - In an attempt to further remind the world that he may just not be of this planet (originally), controversial rapper extraordinaire Kanye West has apparently seen fit to exchange his bottom set of teeth for a new and improved row of diamon...
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Funny story: London Diamond Heist - DNA Places Duke of Edinburgh In The Frame

London Diamond Heist - DNA Places Duke of Edinburgh In The Frame

Particles so small as to be invisible to the naked eye have placed Prince Philip very firmly at the head of the suspect list in last week's £40 million Bond Street robbery. When leading underworld figures were unable to finger the firm involved in...
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Funny story: Mayfair Diamond Heist - Latest

Mayfair Diamond Heist - Latest

Police today admitted that they are no nearer making arrests in the Graff £40 million Mayfair jewellery robbery than they were a week ago. Two men, wearing movie style sfx make-up entered the store, then produced guns and made off with a £40millio...
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Funny story: World's largest diamond stolen by chimp

World's largest diamond stolen by chimp

"The Phantom", the chimpanzee that has been the orchestrator of many recent jewellery heists, struck again last night in a daring raid in a famous New York jewellers. All that is known of "The Phantom" is that security footage outside of a jewelle...
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Funny story: $108 Million Diamond Heist in Paris

$108 Million Diamond Heist in Paris

La Ville-Lumiere, France - Armed robbers stormed the Paris branch of jeweller Harry Winston and waltzed out with a cool $108 million in diamonds yesterday. The robbers were variously described by witnesses as four men, two dressed as drag queens o...
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Funny story: Eerie Silence at Zimbabwe Diamond Mine

Eerie Silence at Zimbabwe Diamond Mine

An eerie yet pregnant silence permeates the scrub region locating the remote Chiadzwa diamond fields, apart from occasional bouts of gunfire, an odd anti-personnel mine explosion and the ensuing screams. Mr. Muti Fruiti was one of the first 'get r...
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Funny story: Mexicans patent the art of tequila diamonds

Mexicans patent the art of tequila diamonds

Tijuana - (Ass Mess): Scientists at Mexico's fabled Chupacabras University have patented the process by which the country's favorite daily tipple is transformed into precious stones. They discovered that heating the vapor from tequila blanco onto...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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