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Funny satire stories about customer services

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Funny story: Retail Theory 101: We Deliver Great Customer Service. So, Please Wipe Your Ass With Our Merchandise. Part 1.

Retail Theory 101: We Deliver Great Customer Service. So, Please Wipe Your Ass With Our Merchandise. Part 1.

The current state of retail customer service in the United States is such that one can go into any retail chain in the country, take a shit on the floor in the middle of the Seasonal section, and the Store Manager will feel obligated to bring you a Wet-Nap.* The answer, BTW? Ames, Bradlees, Caldor, Cornet, Gemci, G. C. Murphy, Rite-Aid, H.L.Greens, Hudson Brothers, Eckerds, Korvettes, J.G. McCrory...
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Funny story: Customer Service Representative Lives In Office Building

Customer Service Representative Lives In Office Building

Philadelphia, PA-- Mary Smith is the perfect employee! Mary works for the XXX Electric Company as a customer service rep. She's always the first one at her desk in the morning and the last to leave at night. She loves working overtime and weekends...
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Funny story: The Joy Of Customer Services (Or: How To Bite One's Lip 'Til It Bleeds)

The Joy Of Customer Services (Or: How To Bite One's Lip 'Til It Bleeds)

What follows is an actual transcript of a telephone conversation that took place during a normal working day in an office in the UK. It is a snap shot of the levels of customer services that can be expected from a typical British company. Names and specific product have been changed to protect the guilty, and to further explain the frustration encountered by the person making the enquiry.
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Funny story: Customer Thinks Her Opinion Matters, Company In Shock

Customer Thinks Her Opinion Matters, Company In Shock

DES MOINES, Iowa - Sears manager Jason Baker was taken to a local hospital after suffering from a severe case of apathy. The incident occurred when customer Sarah Jenkins, 37, approached Jason to tell him she had been a loyal customer for years and t...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight Shopkeeper Earns Accolade For Customer Service

Isle Of Wight Shopkeeper Earns Accolade For Customer Service

A Ventnor shopkeeper has earned a top accolade from a prestigious retail consortium for providing "tip-top, beyond-the-call" customer service. Daisy Prang, who runs the general store in Pillock Hill Road, has received a rosette from the Castleford...
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Funny story: Alternative To Stamps On The Way

Alternative To Stamps On The Way

Denmark is introducing a Mobile Postage Service that can be used as an alternative to the traditional stamp. Instead of having to put a stamp on a letter or parcel, Danes will be able to text a message to the Post Office and they will receive a co...
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Funny story: Customer Care In Scottish Football "Awful"

Customer Care In Scottish Football "Awful"

The Scottish Football Supporters Federation has just completed a report on customer care standards and its a damning indictment on the shoddy way clubs still treat their fans. Each club's performance was rated 0 - 5 on the following - catering, pa...
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Funny story: Mechanic Fits Part Quicker Than Kwik Fit Fitter

Mechanic Fits Part Quicker Than Kwik Fit Fitter

We've all probably heard the famous song 'You Can't fit Quicker Than A Kwik Fit Fitter' and thought what is all that about? Well, today, Paul Spanner, 23, a mechanic from Toolbridge in Derbyshire has ripped up the record books. Kwik Fit are fam...
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Funny story: Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

Here at The Spoof, we want your experience to be a satisfying one. Before reporting a problem to us, please review the following Frequently Asked Questions. Your website appears to be down. What should I do? Please do not call the Hotline. We are experiencing unusually heavy call volume, as always. Wait until the site comes back up, then log on and use the Simple Problem Reporting process t...
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Funny story: Customer Service Calumniator Castrates Cocky Customer

Customer Service Calumniator Castrates Cocky Customer

Easy going Dirt Farmer, Joe Smith, recently ran into a testicular tilt-a-whirl when he crossed paths with customer service Rep. Shania Twillis after calling his local rural electric co-op about a late fee and disconnection notice: Time 11:57 A:M Ring Ring…"Co-op…." "Ahh yes, hello young lady, this is Joe Smith out at the Green Briar Farm, and I'm thinking there might be a mistake on...
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Funny story: Customers now getting service at Home Store

Customers now getting service at Home Store

One upside of the deteriorating economy -- customers are now receiving service at Home Store stores. We met Jane Turner in the parking lot of the Akron (OH) store; an employee was loading bags of sand and gutter downspouts into the back of her SU...
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Funny story: IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

Though showrooms continue to display fully assembled furniture, customers have been at a loss on what to do with the boxes of rectangular simulated wooden pieces once they arrive at home. Due to a shortage in little steel Allen wrenches and screwdri...
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Funny story: Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member

Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member

Microsoft customer, Curt N Rodde was told yesterday to 'pull himself together' when he fell ill and suffered mental anguish having managed to contact a human being at Microsoft when he had a problem with his Windows XP.
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