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Funny satire stories about crucifixion

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Marble Bust Found in Tomb of Jesus

In the first excavations of the newly discovered tomb of Jesus a marble bust and a missing chapter of the Gospel of St. Thomas have been found. The bust, according to the accompanying text is that of none other than Jesus. It bears a strong likeness...

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The Case Against Jesus...Find of the Century

Funny story: The Case Against Jesus...Find of the Century

Archaeologists digging near Jerusalem have unearthed what could be the find of the century... a document purporting to list the actual charges made against Jesus Christ. Jesus was formally arraigned at the house of the High Priest Caiaphas before a gathering of Scribes and officials belonging to the Jerusalem Sanhedrin council. The list of indictments was read out to the defendant who made...

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Images of Crucifixion - Sales Boom

Funny story: Images of Crucifixion - Sales Boom

Govenment experts puzzling over pre-Easter sales of crucifixion memorabilia are analysing possible reasons. One currently popular reason is that it is a sign of support for the return of the barbaric form of capital punishment. "A leading histori...

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End of "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

Funny story: End of "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

Christmas will terminate at midnight tonight in an attempt to curb turkey and mince pie abuse. Turkey can still be obtained by addicts but only on prescription. ChristmS trees, tinsel, mistletoe and chestnuts roasting on open fires will be banned unt...

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Jerusalem: City of culture

Funny story: Jerusalem: City of culture

Derry is by no means the only city in the world that ever got the "City of Culture" gong. A lost book by ancient historian Josephus could set the world alight if it is released to the public. Archaeologists came across the script in a cave near the Dead Sea and believe it to be genuine. It describes in detail what exactly happened to Jesus Christ. According to Josephus, Jerusalem had been g...

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Jesus Told to Get Off the Cross

Funny story: Jesus Told to Get Off the Cross

Jesus Christ has been told by the government that he can no longer be crucified at Easter. Equalities minister Lynne Featherstone has instructed lawyers to claim that the cross is not central to Jesus' everyday life. Instead, the lawyers will seek a...

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Walsall Crucifixion Stunt 'Not Funny'

Funny story: Walsall Crucifixion Stunt 'Not Funny'

Residents of a road in Walsall in the Midlands, venturing out in sub-zero temperatures yesterday for a bit of shopping and that, were horrified by the sight of a bloke crucified up a telegraph pole - in a bizarre protest. The bloke, wearing only a...

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Controversial Study Finds Jews Did Not Kill Jesus, Crucifixion Did

Funny story: Controversial Study Finds Jews Did Not Kill Jesus, Crucifixion Did

There are approximately 38,000 denominations of Christianity in existence today, making it the most widely practiced religion in the world with over 2.1 billion adherents. And although each sect agrees on the fundamental assumption that Jesus Christ...

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Democracy Indicted for the Crucifixion

Funny story: Democracy Indicted for the Crucifixion

Democracy has been indicted for the Crucifixion crime at Golgotha, a spokesman for the International Court of Justice at The Hague said. The trial will begin this summer at the Peace Palace. The question "Jesus or Barabbas?" is well-known as the q...

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67% of Catholic nuns have used a crucifix for 'sexual pleasure'

Funny story: 67% of Catholic nuns have used a crucifix for 'sexual pleasure'

A study conducted by Vogue magazine has discovered the secret sexual desires of nuns. Usually believed to be repressed lesbians, nuns have in fact a depraved sexual appetite that must be sated with lots of 'naughty touching' and oftentimes much, mu...

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Toothpicks from the True Cross Of Jesus Are Big Hit On Ebayjesus

Funny story: Toothpicks from the True Cross Of Jesus Are Big Hit On Ebayjesus

A fragment of the supposed true cross of Christ purchased by Toothpick magnate, Woody Gutree, is being sold on the Christian Ebay, Ebayjesus.

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Roman Catholic Italians Cooperated in Crucifixion!

Funny story: Roman Catholic Italians Cooperated in Crucifixion!

In a bizarre mix of espionage, religion and sadism, an Italian trial of US CIA operatives began today with gripping testimony from a wife about her husband's torture.

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Keegan to undergo crucifixion at Newcastle ground

Funny story: Keegan to undergo crucifixion at Newcastle ground

After his dismal series of results as manager, Newcastle United directors are set to nail Kevin Keegan to the goal at the Gallowgate end of St James Park in the hope this will resurrect their season.

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NBC in Compromise Between Catholic Church and Madonna to Broadcast Actual Crucifixion

Funny story: NBC in Compromise Between Catholic Church and Madonna to Broadcast Actual Crucifixion

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- NBC said today that it has come to a compromise between Madonna and religious leaders offended by her "climbing on a cross" during the scheduled broadcast of a concert from her "Confessions" tour. Rather th...

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New Dead Sea Scrolls Translation Prove Da Vinci Code False

Funny story: New Dead Sea Scrolls Translation Prove Da Vinci Code False

Translators, Archaeologists, and Bible Scholars in Jerusalem have just finished work on the translation of another of the Dead Sea Scrolls. This one, known as The Gospel of Peter, also describes the time period after the crucifixion (historically co...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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