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Funny story: Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

Healthy Foods Help You Live longer But What Crap!

According to a leading nutrition expert, Mars Langston, people should eat all the good-tasting junky food they like and pop a few vitamins jellies. "You will live about five years longer if you eat healthy but it's just not worth it! Much of that...
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Funny story: Girl Scout Sets Up Cookie Stand Outside of Pot Shop - Sells Out In 5 Minutes

Girl Scout Sets Up Cookie Stand Outside of Pot Shop - Sells Out In 5 Minutes

BOULDER, Colorado - Little Boulder Girl Scout Brandy Valdesti, 12, has to be one of the most enterprising youngsters in the entire United States. Brandy had a total of 20 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies to sell and she decided to set up a table right...
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Funny story: Girl Scouts & Moms Battle Fat Women Going To Weight Watchers

Girl Scouts & Moms Battle Fat Women Going To Weight Watchers

Knoxville, Tennessee. Police were called out to the Kingston Pike this afternoon after getting frantic calls from several sources that a fight was taking place near the Weight Watchers Center as some big women were battling some girl scouts and their...
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Funny story: A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

A Grandmother In Arkansas Is Arrested For Baking Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Men

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Claire "Cookie" Starkdiffy, 79, told the local authorities that she had no idea that what she did was against the law. Mrs. Starkdiffy, who was divorced in 2010 by her husband Wardley Starkdiffy after 51 years of marriage,...
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Funny story: Animal Crackers Comes Under Fire

Animal Crackers Comes Under Fire

Animal Crackers are animal-shaped cookies (?) designed by carnivorous subhumans as brainwashing tools by which to corrupt innocent children who, without such indoctrination-disguised-as-treats, might become vegetarians, eschewing the abuse of the ver...
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Funny story: Cookie company to sue consumers

Cookie company to sue consumers

Mabiskit manufacturers of cookies and snacks is only a few days away from announcing a ground-breaking lawsuit against consumers, oddly enough, who have purchased some of the company's actual products. The consumers have no conception of the manuf...
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Funny story: PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

PETA Wants To Ban Animal Crackers

NORFOLK, Virginia - The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have gone to Congress to state their case regarding the wanton ingesting of animal crackers throughout America. PETA's Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter told the news media that...
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Funny story: Brown Bird Scouts Selling Marijuana Cookies This Year

Brown Bird Scouts Selling Marijuana Cookies This Year

Philadelphia, PA - Your local Brown Bird troupe is beginning their annual fund drive today with something new on the menu. The girls will be selling marijuana cookies and brownies door-to-door this year, and they hope to make a few billion dollars!...
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Funny story: Seven Year Old Detonates Bomb at Cookie Sale: Cookies Destroyed, People Get Killed Too

Seven Year Old Detonates Bomb at Cookie Sale: Cookies Destroyed, People Get Killed Too

A seven year old Dallas, Texas Brownie was arrested and charged with committing an act of terrorism after detonating a bomb that was given to her by the FBI at a cookie sale. The detonation destroyed hundreds of boxes of cookies as well as computers...
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Funny story: Girl Scouts back again with the cookies

Girl Scouts back again with the cookies

Its that time of year again when we all indulge our sweet tooth for a little bite of heaven : Girl Scout Cookies! This year there are some new varieties to try out, Mini Me Shortbread, George Washington Carver Peanut Butter Squares, and of course...
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Funny story: Congress To Vet New Cookie Czar

Congress To Vet New Cookie Czar

In an effort to reach across the isle to the GOP, Obama today agreed to let a congressional committee vet his new Cookie Czar appointee. Today Obama submitted three names for consideration and recommendation, the Keebler Elf, Cookie Monster, and the...
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Funny story: Obama Nationalizes Cookie Industry

Obama Nationalizes Cookie Industry

Yesterday in an effort to prevent more job losses in the small business arena, the Obama administration nationalized the Cookie Industry. Today Obama told reporters, "The Cookie Industry is the heart of American small business, and as American as app...
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Funny story: Friction Free Biscuit's now in Development

Friction Free Biscuit's now in Development

A biscuit has been developed by government scientists that is entirely friction free. The implications of this new biscuit will reach far and wide in offices and work places the world over, wherever people enjoy a coffee/tea and biscuit break. Peo...
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Funny story: Santa Claus Announces Milk and Cookies are for Pussies

Santa Claus Announces Milk and Cookies are for Pussies

Santa Claus (a.k.a. Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, and by many other names) has announced that he is sick of the traditional plates of goodies left by children the world over. In fact, Jolly Old St. Nicholas stated in a press release that "milk and...
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Funny story: FDA To Keep eyes on the Dough

FDA To Keep eyes on the Dough

The Food and Drug Administration said yesterday that it had confirmed the presence of E. coli 0157, a deadly strain of bacteria, in samples of refrigerated cookie dough. As of last week, CDC reported 69 cases of E. coli 0157 illness linked to cook...
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Funny story: Man Wipes Hands on Pants, Infects 86.4 Million Cookies

Man Wipes Hands on Pants, Infects 86.4 Million Cookies

DANVILLE, VA - Djene Pasquezanala says no one told him that if you don't wash your hands after using the bathroom, it's a recipe for disaster. Now, his employer will be forced to eat the cost of 300,000 cases of their popular Toll Booth Cookies whil...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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