London - A US Jet Convulsion Laboratory analyst first signalled the Comet break-up last April when debris from its crumbling nucleus briefly blacked-out the International Space Station's roving telescope.
"It was always a borderline pie-in-the-sky...
Space - "WTF does this mean for Capricorns?" seems to be the frantic question in certain NASA quarters as news of Comet Lovejoy's 87,000 mile 'near miss' with the Sun goes viral on the net.
Discovered by Australian star gazer Terry Lovejoy on 27 N...
London - A horrid GlibDem scam to allow Catholics back into the royal fold tonight sees HM vowing to swallow arsenic rather than bow to the latest Popish bollox from Brussels.
Just after sunset a mystery comet from the Papal Bull Shit galaxy was s...
NASA's spaceship, appropriately named 'Deep Impact,' send home pictures recently of what appeared to be a misshapen penis and realized it was the Comet Hartley 2. Scientists high-fived each other as they viewed the photos that took three years to rea...
A new telescope facility in Hawaii designed to search for asteroids and comets which could threaten Earth has been destroyed in a freak accident.
The Pan-STARRS 1 telescope was built primarily to map large portions of the sky each night to track...
London - (Portents): The baleful harbinger of Hellfire Club doom will transit above Whorse Guards Parade, SW1 this Saturday morning at the precise moment of the Gemini new moon.
Comet McNaught's resplendent trajectory should be visible to the nake...
Windsor - (Order of the Gutter): Harbinger of death and totem of volcanic fiascos Comet C/1861 G1 Thatcher, source of the annual 16-26 April Lyrid meteor shower, has been spotted hovering menacingly over Windsor Castle's St George's Chapel.
The 1...
London - (Armageddinouttahere! Mess): Biblical prophecy onanists have warned the transit of two-tailed Comet Lulin hails a terrible end for the Hellfire Club puppet monarch's reign this Sunday.
"The comet augurs the fake dynasty matriarch choking...
London - (X-Files Mess): A highly noxious comet replete with Zyklon-B isotopes is on a Friday 13th February collision course with the UK shipping scrapyard charged with scuttling the toxic French aircraft carrier Le Clemenceau.
Comet Lulin had be...
London - (Coup 'Stark' d'Etat Mess): Monday's magnificent Aquarius solar eclipse occurs horribly close to the credit crunching trajectory of a portentuous Doomsday comet that has been homing in on Buckingham Palace airspace all January.
The comet'...
London - (Grateful Dead Sea Scolls Mess): The Biblical comet first seen at the Nativity in Bethlehem is making its Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls-predicted comeback this weekend over Buckingahm Palace.
According to latest Scrolls transcripts we can exp...
Mount Palomar, California (IPP) - Astronomers have discovered a bright new comet which is being described as "not-so-new" after all.
The comet was discovered in the constellation Ursa Major by the automated array system operating under very dark s...
In their latest findings, researchers Richard Bridgestone and Allen East say that they have found compelling evidence of a Native American culture predating the Clovis people, who were long thought to be North America's first colonists. The evid...
Palm Beach International Airport, Florida (IP) - Comet Holmes made history today when it became the first comet to land at an airport.
Detroit, Michigan (IP) - Comet Holmes has suddenly brightened to negative 28 magnitude which is brighter than the sun.
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - A second satellite comet has been found near the comet Holmes according to reports issued from the Mount Palomar Observatory Campus. Astronomer Dr. Povenmire Finootch has issued the name of Watson to the companion co...
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Breaking news being broadcast in morse code from the Mount Palomar Observatory Campus indicates that Comet Holmes has changed course and is headed directly for the Earth. Morse code was used in order to avoid creatin...
Mephistophels, Tennessee (IP) - Comet Holmes is the fifth sign in a series of recent events that signals the end of the current world.