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Funny story: Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

A new federal law that ensures that children will no longer mooch off taxpayer money in order obtain an education at public elementary schools will take effect in 2017. The "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative will force the majority of schoolchildren in the...
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Funny story: College Student Lives For The Next Episodes of Romantic TV Show

College Student Lives For The Next Episodes of Romantic TV Show

College student Ronnie O'Brien stated to the press that she couldn't wait for the next season of True Love to come out. The season finale occurred earlier this month, and next season won't arrive until at least May of next year. On her calendar, she is counting down the days until the season approximate start date, and she's at 244 days, a very depressing figure. She feels like she is literally...
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Funny story: Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

President Tonto recently upheld the constitutional protection for students to bear arms within the classroom and other public and private areas on the campus of Dumas State University. For weeks, students have staged sit-ins and demonstrations evoki...
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Funny story: My old English Comp Professor Feducious T. Flynt is working on a S/F novel rooted in the world of real science

My old English Comp Professor Feducious T. Flynt is working on a S/F novel rooted in the world of real science

I ran into my old English Comp Professor Feducious T. Flynt at the mall the other day and he told me he quit teaching and was now going to be a science-fiction writer. "That's terrible. Absolutely atrocious. I feel so sorry for you, Feducious," I said. "No, no, no. It's wonderful. And I'm just about at the halfway point of my first novel," he said jubilantly. "I'm doing so well that I decide...
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Funny story: Advice for Graduating Students

Advice for Graduating Students

I'd been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school's marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a mass email to the alumni, asking them to share the best advice they had for the students before they entered the "real" world. I then boiled down their responses to...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Washington--Republican firebrand Ted Cruz said today that "like those guys on TV," he too was "Jesus Charlie." He went on to denounce President Obama's recent proposal giving workers two free years of community college as "Obamacare for education."...
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Funny story: American Students Sent Home from France in Disgrace

American Students Sent Home from France in Disgrace

Fourteen undergraduates from a college in New York U.S. are currently getting psychological counselling after a return visit from France. The students were hand picked to travel to the Ecole des Roches in Normandy France, for six weeks, in order to l...
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Funny story: Elite Colleges Add "Hoop-Jumping" to Admission Criteria

Elite Colleges Add "Hoop-Jumping" to Admission Criteria

Cambridge, MA-In order to select the "most qualified" undergraduate candidates from an increasingly selective applicant pool, Harvard College has added a Standardized Hoop-Jumping Test (SHJT) to its admissions criteria, and the rest of the Ivy League...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

Michelle Obama Debuts New College Degree Plan at Rutgers: Professional Vacationer

New Brunswick, NJ - Smiling, and without a care in the world, FLOTUS showed up at Rutgers University today to unveil a brand new academic program she is credited with creating, in conjunction with the Board of Regents, that should be a hit with t...
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Funny story: Arizona State University Declared the Worst College in the World

Arizona State University Declared the Worst College in the World

TEMPE, AZ-A detailed report completed this spring semester by national scholars announces Arizona State University (ASU) as the worst school in the history of colleges and universities in the world. Based on the results from a ten-year study conc...
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Funny story: Local Man Finishes College at 42-Years-Old

Local Man Finishes College at 42-Years-Old

I'm certainly dad left it in his will that my college would be paid for along with an allowance so that I could concentrate of my getting better grades. Then my mother passed away and left me the house and car. So, for the last twenty plus year...
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Funny story: Scientific Studies Show That Twerking Could Lead To Coitus

Scientific Studies Show That Twerking Could Lead To Coitus

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A US Government Study has just been released which shows that the practice of twerking could very well lead to coitus. The scientific study was conducted at Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis, Indiana. A total of 500...
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Funny story: A California College Has Been Given A $17.3 Million US Government Grant To Study The Mating Habits of The Hummingbird

A California College Has Been Given A $17.3 Million US Government Grant To Study The Mating Habits of The Hummingbird

CARPINTERIA, California - The faculty at Left Coast College located in Carpinteria, California is thrilled at having just learned that the United States government has agreed to provide them with a $17.3 million grant. The grant is being provided...
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Funny story: A College Report States That The American Middle Class Is Shrinking

A College Report States That The American Middle Class Is Shrinking

CHICAGO - Recent studies which were conducted at Chicago's Windy City Community College have revealed that the American middle class is shrinking. Dr. Uriah H. Tillerwell, who has a Masters Degree in Statistical Stats and a Ph.D. in Crop Rotation,...
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Funny story: President Obama Informs The Nation That He Will Investigate Charges That There Are Al-Qaeda Operatives In Yuma, Arizona

President Obama Informs The Nation That He Will Investigate Charges That There Are Al-Qaeda Operatives In Yuma, Arizona

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama cut short his planned day of golf and hurried back to the White House when he heard on CNN that there is a possibility of Al Qaeda operatives living in Yuma, Arizona. The president said that the rumors came from...
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Funny story: Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

Colorado Is Bracing For Upwards of 6 Million Out-of-State Students Coming In During Spring Break

DENVER - Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper has just informed all of the law enforcement departments in the state that no one will be taking vacations the week of Spring Break. The governor stressed that the state is expecting upwards of 6 millio...
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Funny story: A Colorado Springs College Announces An Amazing Marijuana Related Name Change

A Colorado Springs College Announces An Amazing Marijuana Related Name Change

COLORADO SPRINGS - The dean of Zebulon Pike College, which is located in Colorado Springs has just informed the news media that the school will be undergoing a name change. Dean Lennox Woodpulp, III, stated that after receiving a petition signed b...
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Funny story: Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

VANCOUVER, WA-What was supposed to be a simple coffee purchase turned in to a critical moment in the career of George Blankenship, associate professor of English at Washington State University Vancouver as he exchanged glances with one of his Feminis...
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Successful Arrest

Detroit: A 93 year old man was arrested yesterday for shoplifting. Said arresting officer, Chuck Braine; "Thankfully, he made no attempt to escape."
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