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Funny story: Year of the Water Dragon: Chinese to buy Loch Ness Monster

Year of the Water Dragon: Chinese to buy Loch Ness Monster

Scotland - Chinese Sovereign Fund coffers splashed out a reported $5 billion today on the legendary Scottish beastie just after acquiring a $1 billion 8.8% stake in Thames Water. Superstition-mad Beijing bankers took the view that an incredibly au...
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Funny story: Chinese New Year and Burns Night merged

Chinese New Year and Burns Night merged

With Chinese New Year arriving just two days before the Scottish celebration of Burns Night, it has been decided to amalgamate the two massive events in the global calendar and have Chinese Burns Night. "This is going to be phenomenal," said Wu Ma...
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Funny story: Powerful Martian forces align with Sun, Moon and Neptune for apocalyptic Chinese New Year start

Powerful Martian forces align with Sun, Moon and Neptune for apocalyptic Chinese New Year start

Hong Kong - (Bunny Boiler): Thursday's Chinese New Year of the Rabbit sees bellicose war god planet Mars fire up the Aquarius trifecta of Sun, Moon and Neptune. The alignment is seen with trepidation by superstitious Hong Kong city sources who war...
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Funny story: Chinese Year Of The Metal Tiger, Great For Those Facing 60?

Chinese Year Of The Metal Tiger, Great For Those Facing 60?

The Chinese year of the metal tiger starts on February 14 and it's a really special year for all those people who were born in 1950, for that was the last time there was a metal tiger year. So, what can those soon to be 60 years old individuals expec...
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Funny story: Chinese Year of the Tiger is going to be great

Chinese Year of the Tiger is going to be great

A Chinese astrologer, born in New York, named Panda Chan has been reported as saying that the year of the Tiger is going to be great. Its going to be all fireworks and fortune. The year will start when we all win the lottery. Apparently that's...
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Funny story: US seizes four Chinese pies

US seizes four Chinese pies

Washington AC/DC - (Espionage Mess): Four Chinese New Year pies have been seized by the CIA and probed for microdots containing space shuttle secrets "after somebody ratted" according to reports.
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Funny story: Chinese Year of the Rat: Beijing jitters over Gorgon Brown

Chinese Year of the Rat: Beijing jitters over Gorgon Brown

Beijing - (Worse Ass Mess): Chinese officials gave UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown a tepid welcome today after state astrologers warned his pre-Year of the Rat visit bodes ill for a massive fraud he committed along with Tony Blair and George W Bush on...
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Funny story: Chinese Table Tennis Latest

Chinese Table Tennis Latest

There was real excitement last night at the 2007 Chinese National Table Tennis Championships in Beijing, in front of a sell-out crowd.
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Funny story: Man Destroys Face With Bottle Rocket

Man Destroys Face With Bottle Rocket

FALLON, NEW MEXICO -- A 26-year-old New Mexico man has accidentally blown half of his nose off with a bottle rocket during a Chinese New Year celebration.
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Funny story: 'Year of the Pig' Sets Off Increased Muslim Outrage

'Year of the Pig' Sets Off Increased Muslim Outrage

A diplomatic row has broken out between the leaders of China and some Islamic states, due to an astrological anomaly and a pig. The animal in question isn't real, but the controversy surrounding it certainly is, and the UN Security Council has cal...
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Funny story: Chinese Year of the Golden Pig will crown its most famous porkers

Chinese Year of the Golden Pig will crown its most famous porkers

Chinatown - (Rioters): This weekend's celebrations of the Chinese lunar new year will see the crowning of awesome success for those born under the Pig sign as a sixty-year cycle ushers in the year of the Golden Pig.
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Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

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