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Funny satire stories about chemical weapons

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Funny story: Problem Of Syrian Chemical Weapons Solved- Assad Gets A Sarin Shower .

Problem Of Syrian Chemical Weapons Solved- Assad Gets A Sarin Shower .

A vast problem has developed with the disposal of the chemical weapons possessed by Bashar Assad's military in Syria. Used to cripple and decimate his own people, Assad escaped a bombing by U.S. Forces in retaliation by promising to turn all chemical weapons over to International powers that would inventory and get rid of them. Unfortunately, no one wants to take them. Volunteers have come forw...
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Funny story: Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"

Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"

The US Government on advice from the CIA have coined a new word 'HYPER-REMOVAL". CIA Director Kant Giffafuck said: "The word is a sister of "Overkill" which is now common parlance and has more or less the same work to do. We have ordered our PR Agenc...
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Funny story: President Obama's Speech: Edited for easier understanding by those who do not follow current events

President Obama's Speech: Edited for easier understanding by those who do not follow current events

For the sake of those not familiar with the double-speak required of the modern Beltway politian, and who lack the historical context needed to dig out the burined meanings, we provide the following translation of the President's recent speech: My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Syria, why it matters and why we can't go anywhere from here. Over the past two years, what...
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Funny story: Green Light for Assad Massacre!

Green Light for Assad Massacre!

The international community has given the green light to President Assad of Syria to continue massacring his people. The only stipulation is that he hands over his chemical weapons to his Russian pals. Speaking from his luxury yacht off the Syr...
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Funny story: Intel not doctored but finely sifted into a war pudding with salt

Intel not doctored but finely sifted into a war pudding with salt

Latest reports from spokespersons for war senators McCain and Graham indicate the chemical weapons allegations against Assad are being pushed to the rear in war preparations underway in the US. Questions on the accuracy of the August 21 chemical w...
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Funny story: Syria cheating with steroids, say UN inspectors

Syria cheating with steroids, say UN inspectors

Damascus -- The chemical warfare situation in Syria took an unexpected turn yesterday, when a team of UN inspectors discovered that the war-torn nation is using steroids and other Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) to fortify its army. "Clearly,...
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Funny story: Spokespersons for John "Leap-to-it!" Kerry and others clarify Syria

Spokespersons for John "Leap-to-it!" Kerry and others clarify Syria

Anonymous spokespersons for the spokespersons of sundry US authorities, as with Biden, Kerry, Rice, et al have admitted some faces are red and some are stuttering and spluttering. Pacing a White House carpet, President Obama has been observed to s...
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Funny story: Ditto Déjà Vu All Over Again Squared

Ditto Déjà Vu All Over Again Squared

This passing gas event in Syria is bizarre on so many levels... Most recently, Assad has been winning; so why do it now? And it appears noncombatants were most affected. Assad's military probably had exclusive control over such weapons, but could not a defector steal a few? And what about false flag use to embroil the US in another hummus swamp? And how can there be any effective response once...
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Funny story: Obama Double Underlines Syrian Red Line

Obama Double Underlines Syrian Red Line

With the recent reports of yet another chemical attack by Syrian President Assad's forces on the rebels -- often described by the administration as "his own people," although it is not clear that he sees them that way - the pressure is on the Obama...
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Funny story: Dr David Kelly: It's come to this - 'Death Squads' in Great Britain!

Dr David Kelly: It's come to this - 'Death Squads' in Great Britain!

Harrowdown Hill, The Valley of Death Police Area: Nothing to hide? Nothing to fear? Why seventy years secrecy? No fingerprints on the knife, blister packs of tablets, opened water bottle, specs, watch and mobile phone found with the body of Dr K...
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Funny story: Swine Flu is man-made weapon shock, thwarted by Mi6 agent

Swine Flu is man-made weapon shock, thwarted by Mi6 agent

Mi6, the UK's external intelligence agency have revealed today that the epidemic of "Swine Flu" which has gripped the world, was part of a man made effort to bring the world to its knees. A spokesman for the agency described how the initial belief...
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Funny story: Walgreens Markets Terrorist Kits on CNN's Glenn Beck

Walgreens Markets Terrorist Kits on CNN's Glenn Beck

CNN's Glen Beck is preparing a show describing how 'Home-Grown' terrorists regard Walgreens as a ready one-stop supply center for the kinds of weapons-grade materials necessary to build bombs, IED's and other nefarious devices.
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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