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Funny story: Kate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show

Kate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show

London - The Queen's practically had a heart attack at the news that a Kate Middleton garden gnome 'looking like it had swallowed a mouthful' was found in a state of flagrente delicto at a Chelsea Flower Show preview party. Modeled on pregnant roy...
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Funny story: Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea

Gemini solar eclipse heralds disaster for Chelsea

London - "It's bound to rattle the NewsCorpse Fragrant Redhead Garden," a whorticultural society groundsman said this morning as news of the weekend forecast broke. "There's only so much washed out mugwort, poison ivy and wormwood the Show can ta...
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Funny story: Brink's-Mat bullion heist burial garden top contender for Chelsea gold

Brink's-Mat bullion heist burial garden top contender for Chelsea gold

London - One of Chelsea Flower Show's town garden entries has been planted to mirror a London back yard suspected of concealing the missing ingots. Officers from the Flying Squad's horticultural division have toiled for weeks creating the replica...
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Funny story: Chelsea Flower Show Window Box Fracas Arrest

Chelsea Flower Show Window Box Fracas Arrest

A north London couple were arrested today following a fracas outside the Chelsea Flower Show. Ken and Liz Bonkers were released by police after a couple of hours and were warned to stay away from the show. The incident occurred as Mr and Mrs Bo...
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Funny story: Queen apoplectic as cops probe Duchess bribery claims

Queen apoplectic as cops probe Duchess bribery claims

London - (Cash-for-Trash): Soaring London temperatures and a ghastly ex-daughter-in-law corruption scandal are putting the kybosh up HM's pleasant annual trip to inaugurate the Chelsea Flower Show. With the thermometer nudging thirty degrees celci...
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Funny story: 'Body under the patio' garden all the rage at this year's Chelsea Flower Show

'Body under the patio' garden all the rage at this year's Chelsea Flower Show

London - (Flower Power): This year's design classic will feature input from whorticulture specialists at HMP Belmarsh and Wormwood Scrubs. The innovative concept targets Chelsea's post-urban cityscape movement with a Serious and Disorganised Crime...
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Funny story: 'Graboid' superworms trash Chelsea Flower Showground

'Graboid' superworms trash Chelsea Flower Showground

London - (Whorticultural Tremors Ass Mess): Next week's eagerly awaited Chelsea Flower Show has been cancelled after the Royal Hospital showground was trashed by giant subterranean worm-like crawlers. Hundreds of the marauding 50ft long annelids h...
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Funny story: The Kate Middleton skagheads' needle exchange garden takes gold

The Kate Middleton skagheads' needle exchange garden takes gold

Chelsea - (Rehab Mess): A post-urban smack addicts' needle exchange garden modelled on Kate Middleton's social life has taken gold at the Chelsea Flower Show.
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Funny story: Disgust at Flower Show sunken Chinese garden

Disgust at Flower Show sunken Chinese garden

London - (Horticultural Mess): A sunken Chinese garden has caused quite a stir at this year's Flower Show after depicting a typical Sichuan scene in the aftermath of the recent 7.8 Richter Scale quake.
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Funny story: Medicinal cannabis and crack cocaine gardens all the rage at Chelsea Flower Show

Medicinal cannabis and crack cocaine gardens all the rage at Chelsea Flower Show

London - (Narcotic Mess): Tickets for the Chelsea Flower Show have sold out after a news leak that this year's top attractions include a Medicinal Cannabis Garden and its Colombian counterpart the Medicinal Crack Cocaine Garden.
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Funny story: Chelsea's Amnesty International garden 'to be planted opposite US Embassy'

Chelsea's Amnesty International garden 'to be planted opposite US Embassy'

London - (Ass Mess): The Amnesty International show garden at this year's Chelsea Flower Show is to be replanted at a site opposite the US Embassy in London at the end of this week as a protest against the Bush Administration's countless acts...
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Funny story: Chelsea Flower Show bans 300,000 Corrupt Bastards

Chelsea Flower Show bans 300,000 Corrupt Bastards

Royal Hospital Ground, Chelsea - (Ass Mess): Up to 300,000 suspected members of the Corrupt Bastards Club have been banned from this year's Chelsea Flower Show which traditionally marks the start of the London season when international CBC member...
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Funny story: Chelsea Flower Show cancels Rosie O'Donnell rose after pressure from Trump

Chelsea Flower Show cancels Rosie O'Donnell rose after pressure from Trump

Royal Hospital, Chelsea - (Ass Mess): The organisers of this year's Chelsea Flower show have decided to dump the official debut of the Rosie O'Donnell Rose after a series of embarassing spats with US billionaqire and hair-slickover artist Don...
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