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Funny story: Wisconsin To Close Three Cheese Factories

Wisconsin To Close Three Cheese Factories

MILWAUKEE - The state of Wisconsin regrets to have to announce that it will be closing down three cheese factories within the next four weeks. The cheese factories are located in Milwaukee, Green Bay, and Oshkosh. A representative for the state...
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Funny story: The Impact Factor - Obsolete and Dangerous

The Impact Factor - Obsolete and Dangerous

The Impact Factor was conceived in the 1970's by Eugene Garfield, founder of the Institute for Scientific Information, and can be used to compare the 'scientific weight' of different academic journals. Whilst many have argued that the Impact Factor...
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Funny story: Scientists Finally Admit An Astonishing Fact About The Moon

Scientists Finally Admit An Astonishing Fact About The Moon

SAGINAW, Michigan - Two of the world's leading scientists have called a press conference to announce what they say is an astonishing fact regarding the moon. Dr. Heinrich Von Heinrich and Dr. Currington S. Clexweiser have discovered that contrary...
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Funny story: EU teaches Spanish food manufacturers cheese and ham making techniques

EU teaches Spanish food manufacturers cheese and ham making techniques

Remember the Black Foot semi rotten Iberico ham served in Spanish Cafes on the Costas? Or perhaps the off-flavoured translucent cheese served with tooth shattering sweet bread rolls? The EU may shortly be insisting that Spain's food makers look outsi...
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Funny story: Wisconsin Vows To Cut Down On The Wasteful Practice of Duplicate and Triplicate Signs

Wisconsin Vows To Cut Down On The Wasteful Practice of Duplicate and Triplicate Signs

MADISON, Wisconsin - A spokesperson for the governor's office has stated that he wants to thank all of the concerned citizens who have brought the practice of duplicate and triplicate signs to the state's attention. Gideon Hookerfaust, 48, speakin...
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Funny story: Michigan To Start Growing Bananas

Michigan To Start Growing Bananas

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Back during the 2012 presidential campaign President Obama told a crowd at a political rally in Detroit's Carburetor Arena that he was going to see what he could do to help stimulate Michigan's economy. He noted that there were...
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Funny story: Evil Killer Cheese Chemical, Annato, Steals Pizza From Asthma Sufferers

Evil Killer Cheese Chemical, Annato, Steals Pizza From Asthma Sufferers

Millions of asthmatics all over the world have signed a petition to ban the food colouring Annato. The evil chemical is the best friend of the peanut and it is responsible for a sudden country wide epidemic of food allergies. The epidemic has resul...
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Funny story: English Workers in Austrian Cheese Terror

English Workers in Austrian Cheese Terror

"I think they did it on purpose. They knew what it was and I should have guessed something was wrong when the shop girls started to snigger and point at me. They didn't warn me." Speaking on condition of anonymity and asking to be referred to as...
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Funny story: USA a smugglers paradise; drugs in the South and cheese in the North!

USA a smugglers paradise; drugs in the South and cheese in the North!

The US border guards have got quite a problem on their hands because they just cannot stop smugglers invading the country from all sides! Mexican smugglers in the south enjoy a free for all whilst dodging dodgy border guards who seem to arrest Mex...
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Funny story: Cheese singles have very little cheese in them

Cheese singles have very little cheese in them

Cheese Singles, those flat yellow rectangles of vaguely cheese tasting material are not, as advertised, cheese. "After careful analysis of melting patterns under a hot grill," said professor of cheese, Adam Gouda, "we have concluded that, at best,...
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Funny story: Man, 73, Gored In Leg during Running of the Bulls While Shopping For Cheese in SW12

Man, 73, Gored In Leg during Running of the Bulls While Shopping For Cheese in SW12

A 73-year-old Spanish man was gored in the right leg on the first day of the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, though the incident actually occurred in Balham, South London, while he was shopping for cheese. Pedro Santorini from Pamplona an...
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Funny story: The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!

IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
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Funny story: Dorking News: More (One, Actually) Letters To The Editor About History

Dorking News: More (One, Actually) Letters To The Editor About History

Dear Sir, I am writing in the hope that any of your readership may have a care for our lost histories. You see, I live here in Broadwoodwidger and am researching the lives of our ancestor, Edwin Puley, who was a Cheesewright and Noddler, and indeed served his time in your very environment before ending his days as a Master Cheesewright and Chief Noddler back here in Devon. I visited your...
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Funny story: Cheese makes an ideal time machine

Cheese makes an ideal time machine

Cheddar or Gouda, Brie or Edam, it turns out that the congealed mess that is left if you leave milk in the sun can form the basis of a working time machine. "We noticed that the vacuoles of air inside a cheese were remarkably dense," said Professo...
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Funny story: Basil Fawlty defends friend Wolly Thompson over cheese theft

Basil Fawlty defends friend Wolly Thompson over cheese theft

Hotelier Basil Fawlty has come to the defence of his old friend Antony Wally Thomson after the TV chef was arrested stealing wine and cheese on five separate occasions from down on their luck supermarket Tesburys. Speaking to trade magazine 'Hotel...
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Funny story: BBC axe investigation into Jimmy Savile

BBC axe investigation into Jimmy Savile

The BBC have dropped plans Newsnight to investigate the private life of Jimmy Savile, just weeks after he died in October. The Daily Fail newspaper reports that the Beeb had planned to examine the claims that Saville regularly stole cheese from h...
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Funny story: Torture - The Irish Way

Torture - The Irish Way

China and Iran are two countries that spring to mind when we think about torture, however, if I had to choose a country in which to suffer it I would be happy to be stuck in Ireland. Here follows a list of Irish torture techniques: Cheese boarding: Subjects are made to sniff whiffy cheeses such as 'Stinky Bishop' and Stilton for hours on end. In extreme circumstances prison guards have even bee...
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Funny story: Cows milk 'methane' blamed in cheese factory blaze

Cows milk 'methane' blamed in cheese factory blaze

Wincanton, Somerset - Highly combustible bovine methane is suspected of being behind a Devon blaze where firefighters are tackling the county's biggest blaze for a decade. Acrid fumes reminiscent of charred Welsh Rarebit have engulfed the area as...
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