The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...
Super Businessman and inventor of TV's 'The Apprentice' Sir Alan has teamed up with those loveable rascals Jedward to launch a new cereal to get Britain's kids eating healthily.
Twins Noel and Keith Jedward were only too keen to make even more mon...
LA, CA-- Heidi Montag, "reality" TV star and plastic surgery addict got quite a shock at breakfast this morning when her nose fell off in her bowl of Cornflakes!
The horrified starlet, who was by now wide awake, dug her nose out of her breakfast,...
Here is another story about your tax dollars being put to good use. A research scientist in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of a couple of the largest cereal manufacturers in the United States, has just concluded a year-long study into the effects certa...
The US Food and Drug Administration, taking the unprecedented step of barring the manufacture and sale of a perfectly legal product, has banned the manufacture, sale or use of cereal variety packs.
" 'Big Cereal' has taken advantage of moms, value...
Battle Creek, MI-- One of advertising biggest icons is behind bars tonight after killing and eating three advertising legends. Tony the Tiger is charged with the brutal slayings of Snap, Crackle and Pop. The three elves were slaughtered and eaten b...
In another of a long list of fantastical approaches to stem the PR and environmental disaster enveloping the Gulf Coast and BP that include building a dome over the problem, feeding the oil to a bacteria, and gouging everyone in the world's eyes out...
Famous brothers Snap, Crackle and Pop have announced that they are splitting up after decades of working together on the cereal promotion circuit.
The elves, who were "snapped" up by cereal giant Kellogg's to be the official mascots of Rice Krisp...
Canadian Model Coco Rocha who weighs only 7st 7lbs is being turned down for work on the catwalk because idiots are claiming she is to fat.
Now Coco has gone on a diet eating only the breakfast cereal Coco Pops and although she has still not found...
A famous cereal manufacturer that makes a popular brand of multigrain hooped breakfast cereal (but not the ones you're thinking of, a completely different manufacturer) has been lambasted by advertising watchdogs for promoting prostitution on the bac...
Silly rabbit! If you hadn't been in the alley behind the supermarket sneaking a box of Trix (they're for kids!), you might not have been murdered by a cereal killer!
The crime, the third this month, was the first to take place in an open area out...
Los Angeles, CA police officials are investigating the apparent shooting death of Sonny, the Cocoa Puffs Cuckoo Bird. Sonny, real name Glen Fitzpatrick, was found dead on November 27th in the two room apartment he shared with his sister Mabel. Fitzpa...
Nude Country Corn Flakes has been advertising the unadorned and downright plain, call it nude, recipe for their nothing but Iowa corn flakes. The Mennonite farmer founders of the simple cereal never dreamt that their state's Supreme Court would grant...
Madison Avenue, New York - Once rabbits were used to determine if a "woman" was pregnant, giving up their lives in the process, but those days were as barbaric and outmoded as parental supervision is today. All thanks to a US court ruling that has or...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a continued campaign of hatred for pot smokers, the Kell Logg Flake Company has now launched all-out biological warfare on the homeless of San Francisco. Two volunteers were injured when the popular cereal manufacturer dumped...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The Kell Logg Flake Company (KLFC) has decided not to pursue a new contract with Michael Phelps. The subject of controversy, Phelps recently found himself pictured on the cover of a British tabloid taking a ripping bong hit. In...
Much loved television star and cereal salesman Anthony 'the tiger' has been found dead in the North London flat he had called home since his arrival at the door of stardom some 20 years earlier.
It was after a night out with fellow salesman Coco a...
A host of Z-list cartoon characters have been slated by a watchdog magazine for failing to entertain today's children.
Amongst the slighted stars are The Honey Monster, Tony The Tiger, Snap, Crackle and Pop, Moo the Dairylea cow, Coco the Coco Po...