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Detroit Tigers Infielder Suffers "Cash" Injury

Wilfred "Willie" Makett, star shortstop and fan favorite of the Detroit Tigers broke his right leg last night in a freak accident at his home during the All-Star break and will be sidelined for the balance of the season. He told hospital personnel th...

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Cash ruins unblemished driving record

An 80-year-old driver who accidentally dropped a load of money on to the road has blotted his previously unblemished driving record. Gateshead magistrates heard that Ivor Lodesadosh, owner of the Big Game Casino, was driving to the bank in his jee...

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#CashTag - Cash's nametag company bought up by IP entrepreneur

Funny story: #CashTag - Cash's nametag company bought up by IP entrepreneur

An unnamed businessman has secretly taken control of the ailing Cash nametag company after he discovered they owned the trademark Hashtag™. A Cash's spokesperson said that the Coventry company would be moving away from their previous business...

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Most Desired Gift is Cash

Funny story: Most Desired Gift is Cash

Shoppers were stopped and interviewed by our blonde, intrepid reporter, and asked one simple question: if you could have anything you wanted from Santa, what would it be? Sarah, a single mother of two, said "Cash". Why cash? "Well, it's small,...

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Top 1% Gains Illusory, says Stanley Morgan

The gains tallied in the economic reports on the Bureau of Economic Analysis are all illusory, says Stanley Morgan. They were all paper gains, and are in no way connected to the self-worth of those whose incomes are above the line that pegs them at...

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Appeal after lost cosh

A Gateshead man has been left devastated after losing his cosh. Alf Umpyer, a notorious criminal, lost his cosh last Thursday night while on the prowl in the posh, upper-class district of the town. He had put the cosh in his coat pocket whilst...

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Five People Hurt in Cash

Five greedy people were injured - one seriously - in a massive pile of cash on the M62 near Manchester. Dozens of motorists stopped near an overhead bridge as huge bags of money were dropped onto the motorway. Drivers and their passengers were...

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UK's First 'Cash For Children' Outlet To Open In Leeds

The true extent of the financial crisis was highlighted yesterday by the announcement that Leeds will become home to the UK's first 'Cash4Child' outlet. Based loosely on the ubiquitous gold merchants where hard-up punters sell inherited jewellery...

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Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Funny story: Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Protesters against the expansion of the supermarket giant Tesbury's have struck in Manchester with a cash-back scam that has left the national chain of grocery stores fuming. "We're very disappointed," said Tesbury's managing director Tessa Coe. "...

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The Latest Federal Program: "Cash For Stash"

Funny story: The Latest Federal Program: "Cash For Stash"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. government noting that the "Cash for Clunkers" program and its "Cash for Cluckers" program were both very successful has proposed a new program called the "Cash for Stash" program. This innovative project which will pay...

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ATM Sparks Massive Queues

Funny story: ATM Sparks Massive Queues

A Cash Machine in Stretford, Manchester, today made residents of Stretford with a cash card quite rich. The ordinary looking ATM started handing out fifty times the amount requested due to a software glitch that many IT experts believe the ATM cam...

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Bank to panhandle for cash

Funny story: Bank to panhandle for cash

Britain's second largest bank, Royal Thistle Bank of Scotland, is to ask passerby for about £10bn of extra cash to improve its financial position and meet its quarterly shortfall.

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Health Coalition Sues U.S. Treasury Dept -- "paper cash is major source of sickness"

Funny story: Health Coalition Sues U.S. Treasury Dept -- "paper cash is major source of sickness"

WASHINGTON DC. -- An expansive group of health organizations today filed several lawsuits against the United States Government seeking an immediate stop to the circulation of paper money. Members of the group Health Action Coalition are health care p...

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When Harry Met Don

Funny story: When Harry Met Don

Now, half way through the 'Stand Up Comedy Boom' Harry decided to cash in on his connections and he opened a Public Relations firm named 'Handled Messiahs INC' but unlike the joke circuit Harry's gift of gab, devilish good looks and sheer tenacity was not enough to land him the highly coveted big named clients. '...

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Mexico Raid Turns Up $205 Million U.S. Cash

Funny story: Mexico Raid Turns Up $205 Million U.S. Cash

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO--(SPAHNISHNOOSE) More than $200 million in U.S. cash from rug producers in one of the cities glitziest colonias was found today making it the biggest cash bust in the countries history, except for yesterdays bust...

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Vagina Crisis - The Lowtons and Me : My side of the Story

Funny story: Vagina Crisis - The Lowtons and Me : My side of the Story

I am forced to issue a response to recent articles linking me with the notorious Lowton brothers in the current furore over 'Cash For Vagina's'.

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Microsoft Unveils 99 Cent Cell Phone

Funny story: Microsoft Unveils 99 Cent Cell Phone

The FTC is wondering how Microsoft can not only offer a 99 cent cell phone but also throw in a cash voucher for 8000 Anytime minutes with the provider of your choice. "Gates has got something up his sleeve" FTC Chairman Timothy Murisis sai...

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Creditors threaten to fill-in the Channel Tunnel

Funny story: Creditors threaten to fill-in the Channel Tunnel

Paris-Eurotunnel, operator of the Channel Tunnel, admitted on Thursday that a cash crisis is imminent, and that it had less than four months to come up with a workable financial plan to deal with its mountain of debt-or its Creditors will fill...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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