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Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...
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Funny story: Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Sunday, On National Television, Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York said, "Contraceptives, that are now widely available -- my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them -- is that right...
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Funny story: Outgoing Chief Rabbi offers to be new Pope

Outgoing Chief Rabbi offers to be new Pope

The outgoing Chief Rabbi of the UK, Lord Dr Jonathan Sachs, has made a magnanimous offer to the College of Cardinals in the Vatican by offering to become the new Pope. His office said that he made the offer for a number of reasons, some practical...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell being brought in to help find new Pope

Simon Cowell being brought in to help find new Pope

In a shock announcement by the Vatican today, it has been confirmed that Simon Cowell, the mastermind behind popular talent shows such as "Britain's Got Morons" and "£X-Factor" is being drafted in to bring some life to the process for choosing a new...
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Funny story: Cardinals Announce New Pope Must Be Able to Sing and Dance

Cardinals Announce New Pope Must Be Able to Sing and Dance

Vatican- Today in Rome Cardinals in the conclave debated what the new Pope must be able to do. Quite surprisingly there seemed to be a spirit to include some very new kinds of skills: * Dancing * Singing * Lead guitar * Tamborine * Gangnam Style...
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Funny story: Vatican promotes Silly Hat Contest

Vatican promotes Silly Hat Contest

Special to TPN - Vatican Secretary of State, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, announced that the Convocation of Cardinals assembled to pick a new Pope will liven up the proceedings with a Silly-Hat Contest, which has not been conducted for 1200 years.
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Funny story: Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady of Ireland has issued a statement urging Catholics to forgo the consumption of eggs on Fridays in an act of protest against the introduction of abortion in Ireland. According to the Cardinal, the consumed egg - whether boiled,...
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Funny story: Outrage as Pope's family celebration causes a riot

Outrage as Pope's family celebration causes a riot

There were scenes of mayhem and chaos at a special Papal event held in the Vatican Hotel today, resulting in riot police being called, but more seriously, the Pope being called........being called terrible names, that is. It appears that the Pope...
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Funny story: Survey Finds American Catholic Priests Against the Norm

Survey Finds American Catholic Priests Against the Norm

A survey by the Universidad de Roma found that American Priests do not follow Catholic norms. While the Catholic ministers from the United States seem to be constatntly in the news for their sexual exploits and conquests of little boys, the average...
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Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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