It appears that Mitt and Barack are in a statistical "dead heat" (who dreamed up that vulgar term -- some necrophiliac?) (although "neck and neck" isn't any better -- way too intimate -- practically gay!) (and "horse race" really should be "whore's race." They're both turning tricks for money. It's a disgrace.)
Ann Romney, who seems scarier and more Stepford wifey than she used to, recently...
The Home Office has vowed to intercede in a pending work stoppage during the Olympics as the Sex Workers Union (SWU) has threatened a 'Lay Out' during the August Influx of cash carrying tourists for the gala event heralded as a 'boom to the econom...
London UK: Harry Phelps on his way to work at "The Spoof" was nearly hit by a chauffeur driven Bentley, as he stepped off the curb in front of the Bank Street Underground station.
Harry was dusting himself off and cursing that he had looked to th...
In the face of global panic, stock market analysts today warned of further problems to come.
"This is no doubt a serious situation," warned fiscal analyst Hernst Sprank, of Deutsch Bank Der Bolloks "for sure, there has been a 62.3% rise in the mea...
After the huge success of 'The End of Capitalism' in 2007/8, Hollywood has launched 'The End of Capitalism Part 2' this week to rave reviews.
'It is just like the inspired 2007 epic' declared film critic Ponsonby Ogle.
Rumours that 'The End of...
The horrible problems created by capitalism that Karl Marx tried to fix in Europe have occurred again but in America after a decade since Marx first wrote his Communist Manifesto.
Marx who was born into a wealthy family was concerned about his European brothers and sisters suffering under the deplorable conditions created by Capitalism.
Two armed men who were desperate to pay for their gran...
A savvy woman made a million dollars by suing a prosperous internet dating site because she claims someone she met on the site abused her.
The woman is known to have dated as many as 25 thousand men at her local bar, during the last 15 years.
Today MonkeyInTheBath news had the pleasure of interviewing the leader of the British Green Party, Calorie Spielberg. Our best interviewer, known only as Me, was sent along.
Me: Miss Spielberg, congratulations on becoming leader of the Green Party last year.
CS: Thank you. Of course, we are all hippies so we don't really believe in leaders. But we decided it might be useful for us to have on...
NASA - Images from the Cassini spacecraft of Saturn's moon Titan has researchers scratching their heads. Using enhanced radar imaging, a Putt-Putt golf course was discovered near the larger of the three lakes near Titan's South pole.
"The lakes w...
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Churlish Captain Capitalism & Executive Sidekick, Dale the Driller, saved the Chilean miners using their free-market super hero tools. "It needs to be said," stated The Captain, "The rescue is a smashing victory for free...
Public, it's a somber day. A recent poll showed that near on forty percent of America's youth support socialism over capitalism. I had intended upon being sickened in my post today, but an overwhelming sorrow o'ertakes my oration, obviously brought out by our less than omnipotent offsprings' impotent, incredulous intake of external propaganda.
Moreover, more malicious than making maddening poll...
The United States intends to send troops into Heaven, in a move to prevent terrorists from operating there. Called Operation Free Heaven, the top-secret plan, conceived during the Bush administration but never carried out, is gaining momentum in high...
Outlined against a somber, blue-grey socialist sky in Washington, President Barack Hussein Obama brings back images of Pestilence as he plots the extermination of capitalism in America.
As part of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Pestilence r...
The following procedures are already being followed by millions of your fellow human beings in minor positions of power:
If you are a big employer be sure to lay off people rather than let the shareholders take a hit on their stocks. Business is always more important than people.
If you are a bank or financial institution since you are not making investments in this recession cannibalize you...
The great English union leader Arthur (The Scar) Gill once said: "Red or Blue, we all have pub talk under our skin.
"Say what you like about politics, but religion and politics remain some of the few things around that can disunite people all over...
Prime Minister Gordon Brown yesterday gave a surprisingly upbeat view of how the economy will improve over the coming year.
Speaking at the December Number 10 news conference, he invited journalists to throw their shoes at him:
"Give it your...
US President George Bush, mastermind of the world-wide war on terror, in his last few months in office, has opened a new front in his relentless drive against enemies of mankind. Last night, in a prime-time televised speech seeking public support for...
Adam Smith, dead since 1790, came back to earth recently to comment on the current crisis in financial markets.
In light of the present problems in the American economy, many now question Smith's famous economic doctrine of the "invisible hand"...