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Funny story: The colour red to be banned in call centres

The colour red to be banned in call centres

It will soon be against the law to wear the colour red whilst working in a call centre. Additionally, any red that is present in a call centre will have to be removed by the company running the call centre. "It is important that we get this done q...
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Funny story: Met Police launches 101 number for non-urgent calls

Met Police launches 101 number for non-urgent calls

Police in London are launching a phone number for calls that do not require an urgent response. I tried the system out today to see how it worked. The call went something like this. 101 Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring,…………………………………………….ring ring. Hello, you are through to the police non emergency help line; please select one of the following options. If you see someone breaking into a...
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Funny story: What's the weather like, mother?

What's the weather like, mother?

Several high street banks have announced that some of their call centre staff have been getting call centre jobs so that they can talk to their family in England for free. "We noticed that we were getting a large number of calls to the call centre...
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Funny story: Dial 666 - Speak Of The Devil

Dial 666 - Speak Of The Devil

Satan, the Prince of Darkness, is to set up a call centre in Gainsborough, the call centre capital of England. "It's the logical place," said Aleister Crowley, spokesman for Hell Incorporated. "Gainsborough is already Hell on Earth, so there are p...
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Funny story: Many Call Center Jobs Outsourced to Hell

Many Call Center Jobs Outsourced to Hell

While India may be a popular location for call centers, hell is gaining strength as the next big location for both inbound and outbound call center construction. Recently Lucifer, the keeper of the land of eternal damnation, was quoted as sayi...
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Funny story: CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

CSI Miami, Horatio breaks sunglasses, telephones IT helpdesk by mistake

It's all go for David Caruso, star of CSI Miami, filming here, filming there, nipping to the shops to buy factor 1000 sun cream for his lily white skin, due to being a ginger in the sunniest place on the planet. Apparently he was on set the other...
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Funny story: New Call Centres to Open

New Call Centres to Open

In a measure to further reduce the unemployment rate, George Osbourne has announced that the UK will be opening brand new call centres for all small businesses. The Shadow Chancellor was quoted as saying "We're going to be opening brand new, state...
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Funny story: Man's Head Explodes Whilst On Telephone To Virgin Media

Man's Head Explodes Whilst On Telephone To Virgin Media

A local man died while on the telephone to Virgin Media, a court heard today. The post-mortem hearing concerned Clive Pheebs, 43, who was attempting to report a fault on the line of a number he was trying to reach, when the death occurred. "Mr...
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Funny story: Brad of India

Brad of India

(Landline telephone is ringing in a hall. Sound of radio and crockery being washed coming from kitchen. Occupant of house eventually comes through to answer phone.) Hello?....... Hello?....... Hello, who's there? Hello? Hello? Hello, is that... Hello? Hello, could I speak to Mr Harrison please? Er yes, that's me. Mr Ivan Harrison? Yes, I'm Mr Harrison. Good evening Mr...
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Funny story: PayPal Employees to Wear Mandatory Smile Generators

PayPal Employees to Wear Mandatory Smile Generators

San Jose Ca., Non-FDIC insured PayPal, a payment method use by sellers and buyers worldwide to buy, sell and trade on eBay, announced today that all employees will be fitted for and required to wear "smile generators." "This device is designed t...
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Funny story: Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member

Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member

Microsoft customer, Curt N Rodde was told yesterday to 'pull himself together' when he fell ill and suffered mental anguish having managed to contact a human being at Microsoft when he had a problem with his Windows XP.
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Funny story: Mental Illness Epidemic at Call Centers

Mental Illness Epidemic at Call Centers

(Atlanta GA) The Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta declared today mental illness is epidemic at call centers in this country and abroad. Schizophrenia, depression, mania, and paranoia infects 100% of call takers.
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Funny story: British Gas Call Centres Stink!

British Gas Call Centres Stink!

The industry monitor Energywatch has predicted that during 2008 British Gas is gearing up to maintain it's record for the smelliest call centre's ever.
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Funny story: 76% of Humans work in Call Centers

76% of Humans work in Call Centers

A staggering 76% of human adults work in call center based employment, says the World Forum For Employment Statistics (WFEM).
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Breaking News...

Only 38% of Americans Can Name the 3 Branches of US Government

Recent poll results indicate vast majority of US citizens dumber than ever before. Cyber addicted, they flock to the latest Apple phones, seeking to redouse themselves in brain-dead video apps. Ugh!!

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