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Funny story: Maria Sharapova To Visit Former Minder - Burnley Man Reg Bond - Ahead Of Wimbledon 2012

Maria Sharapova To Visit Former Minder - Burnley Man Reg Bond - Ahead Of Wimbledon 2012

Globally renowned Russian grunting tennis queen, Maria Sharapova, has announced that she is to pay a goodwill visit to her former minder, Reg Bond, at his shared Burnley B&B room ahead of this year's Wimbledon tennis championships. "I owe much...
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Funny story: Reg Bond Reveals Why He Quit As Lady Gaga's Bodyguard And Went Home To Burnley

Reg Bond Reveals Why He Quit As Lady Gaga's Bodyguard And Went Home To Burnley

Although his name is nowhere near as high profile as the stars he has been contracted to protect, Burnley based bodyguard, Reg Bond has finally turned his back on the high life, and returned to the Lancashire mill town with a view to opening a fish a...
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Funny story: Nigerian Zombie Savagely Beaten By Drunken Humans In Burnley Town Centre

Nigerian Zombie Savagely Beaten By Drunken Humans In Burnley Town Centre

Nigerian zombie, Winston St George Ndead was recovering this morning in Burnley General Hospital following a ferocious attack upon his person by a group of drunken humans on Yorkshire Street in the town centre. Bystanders relate that Winston was m...
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Funny story: Early Migrating Humans Fought Sabre Toothed Tigers To Settle In Burnley

Early Migrating Humans Fought Sabre Toothed Tigers To Settle In Burnley

Archaeological evidence supports the theory that the earliest human migrants battled woolly mammoths, sabre toothed tigers, wild lions, hippos, and wild boar, in their quest to reach the Lancashire settlement of Burnley. Historians agree that the...
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Funny story: Burnley To Be Awarded F1 GP!

Burnley To Be Awarded F1 GP!

It's such hot news that it probably won't be announced for a day or two yet, but the semi-derelict Lancashire mill town of Burnley appears to have been slated to host the British Grand Prix between 2013 and 2013. It is thought that F1 chiefs, tire...
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Funny story: Bra Burning Bonanza Banned By Burnley Council

Bra Burning Bonanza Banned By Burnley Council

The Bra Burning Coalition, the militant wing of the Feminism Movement, which is the political arm of Woman's Lib, which is a small book-store in Cambridge, is looking for a new venue for their annual Bra Burning. "We've been burning bras in Burnle...
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Funny story: A Sushi Bar In Burnley? - You're Having A Laugh Mister Yakomoto!

A Sushi Bar In Burnley? - You're Having A Laugh Mister Yakomoto!

The few remaining residents of the declining mill town of Burnley, in Lancashire, were almost unanimous in their condemnation of a Japanese businessman's plans to launch two sushi bars - one on the site of a former pub on Accrington Road, in the town...
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Funny story: Simon Cowell's Latest Cash Cow - Royal Family To Appear In Reality TV Series Set On Burnley Council Estate

Simon Cowell's Latest Cash Cow - Royal Family To Appear In Reality TV Series Set On Burnley Council Estate

According to sources, impressario Simon Cowell is planning to top his mega-selling TV cash cows, X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent, by producing a new reality TV show, which will involve the Royal Family moving into council accommodation on the Stoop...
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Funny story: Endangered Amazonian Tree Frog Colony Found In Burnley Park

Endangered Amazonian Tree Frog Colony Found In Burnley Park

Concerned zoologists had a good reason to be cheerful today, following the discovery of a sizable community of Amazonian tree frogs in Scott Park, in Burnley, Lancashire. The community of thorn-spitting yellow-backed Uppenattem frogs came to the a...
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Funny story: Swingers Party In Burnley Ends In Chaos

Swingers Party In Burnley Ends In Chaos

A swingers' party at a house on Ormerod Road in Burnley resulted in chaos over the weekend, with riot police, three police dog units, two armed response vehicles and a police helicopter becoming involved in the fray. Revellers blamed a mix up with...
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Funny story: Inspector Clouseau Of The Surete Found Living Incognito In Burnley

Inspector Clouseau Of The Surete Found Living Incognito In Burnley

Astonishing revelations surfacing in Burnley, Lancashire, claim that the bungling French detective, Inspector Jacques Clouseau, of the Surete - for a long time missing and presumed dead - has turned up in the rapidly fading mill town, along with his...
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Funny story: Maria Sharapova To Buy £10,000 House In Burnley, Lancashire

Maria Sharapova To Buy £10,000 House In Burnley, Lancashire

Beaten Wimbledon Ladies Singles finalist, Maria Sharapova has been outed as the mystery buyer of a £10,000 terraced house, on Pritchard Street, in Burnley, Lancashire. It is an established fact that Maria Sharapova has a massive fan base in the La...
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Funny story: Trouble Flares In Burnley As Petra Kvitova Beats Maria Sharapova In Wimbledon Ladies Singles Final

Trouble Flares In Burnley As Petra Kvitova Beats Maria Sharapova In Wimbledon Ladies Singles Final

Police in full riot gear are struggling to maintain order in Burnley, Lancashire, as fans of Russian tennis star, Maria Sharapova went on the rampage, following their heroine's Wimbledon Ladies Singles Final defeat to Czech, Petra Kvitova. The tro...
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Funny story: Sharapova Mania Sweeps Burnley, Lancashire

Sharapova Mania Sweeps Burnley, Lancashire

It's official - Burnley, Lancashire, has come down with a severe case of Sharapove mania. Unemployed wasters in the town - famous for having Britain's cheapest house - have taken to Maria Sharapova, and huddle around TV sets whenever the Russian tenn...
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Funny story: Burnley Man Admits Being Sasquatch

Burnley Man Admits Being Sasquatch

Mild mannered Burnley family man Alvin Topping 52 has come forward to local officials and turned himself in as the elusive Bigfoot alias the Sasquatch and Yeti. Topping, an actuarial by trade and clean shaven, seems an unlikely candidate for Bigfo...
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Funny story: K2 Expedition Called Off At Burnley Bus Station

K2 Expedition Called Off At Burnley Bus Station

An ambitious plan by a group of unemployed men from North East Lancashire to ascend the world's second highest mountain, K2, was reluctantly called off yesterday evening at Burnley bus station. The 28 expedition members, along with 84 Sherpas, fro...
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Funny story: Lead Thieves Strike in Burnley

Lead Thieves Strike in Burnley

SCRAP METAL thieves in Burnley are planning industrial action after police urged people to be vigilant. Thieves believe officers are investigating reports of the theft of lead from four porch roofs in Heather Bank and Rossendale Road. Lead wor...
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Funny story: Burnley Bands Needed to 'Rock The House'

Burnley Bands Needed to 'Rock The House'

BURNLEY artists wanting a shot at the big time are being given the chance to Rock The House. A national music competition with a political twist, Rock The House aims to support unsigned acts while patronising young people and raising awareness of...
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Queen of Sheba Susan Rice Demands Hagel's Head

"QueenSheba" Rice had a hissy fit over SecDef Hagel's failure to mouth the Regime's spin on foreign threats. She issued a beheading decree,only deflected by Court Jester "Loony Joe" Biden's ravings.
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