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Obama pimps Affordable Air Act

Funny story: Obama pimps Affordable Air Act

Washington AC/DC - Three consecutive nights of Australian weed smoking have inspired Barack Obama with an absolute blinder in the shape of his forthcoming Affordable Air Act 2014. The proposals will target carbon dioxide emissions sourced to huma...

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Justin Bieber's Mom Catches Him In His Room Holding His Breath

Funny story: Justin Bieber's Mom Catches Him In His Room Holding His Breath

TORONTO - The mother of Justin Bieber says that thanks to her heartless, irresponsible, and ditsy son she has aged 10 years in the past 10 months. Pattie Mallette told a reporter for a local newspaper that she has no idea what in the world happene...

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Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Funny story: Oxygen more harmful than crack, says former drugs adviser

Oxygen is more harmful than crack cocaine when used from an early age, according to a study in the Glancet. The report was authored by Professor Arthur Tuttykins, a former drugs adviser to the government who was sacked in 2007 for reporting findin...

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Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

Funny story: Breathing Linked To Pinworms Disease

A new report from the Surgeon Colonel is that they have completed a major study that links breathing to Pinworms Disease. "It's almost 100%", stated S.G. to this reporter. "Two in the study have disappeared and we can't find them, but 100% of the...

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Breathing Causes Global Warming

Funny story: Breathing Causes Global Warming

In a shock announcement tonight scientists from the University of Pointless Studies (Cambridge) have managed to dispel the rumor that the major cause of CO2 in our atmosphere is due to cars, air travel or even cows It's us! By breathing in and...

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'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

Funny story: 'Keep toddlers from breathing fresh air' call from scientist

Parents should not allow under-fives to breath fresh air, an ologologist has said, in a bid to earn a fiver to buy his fake degree, or at least to get the next round in. Professor Hugh Hee said toddlers were 'most likely to run around and breath f...

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"Breathing in" can make you ill

Funny story: "Breathing in" can make you ill

Breathing in may be bad for your health according to UK scientists, who have shown that breathing in can result in lungs being filled with potentially harmful bacteria. Test revealed that that air harbours any number of airborne bacteria and spore...

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UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

Funny story: UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

Worldwide Environmental Protection Agencies, especially the British and Colonial divisions will begin monitoring Carbon Dioxide and Methane. EPAUK has resolved to track every breathing mammal for its CO2 load. USAEPA has made a similar resolution:...

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Airlines to begin charging $7 for every thirty minutes of breathing air

Funny story: Airlines to begin charging $7 for every thirty minutes of breathing air

Airline travelers might want to begin taking deeper breaths during their flights, because next week, the term "paying through the nose" will take on greater meaning. Citing cutbacks and recessionary conditions, the major airlines have decided to take...

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Man found in vacuum survives on thin air

Funny story: Man found in vacuum survives on thin air

A direct descendant of J Edgar Hoover, inventor of the dam*, has been discovered by builders during refurbishment work at the BBC. He is thought to date from the early 19th century and claims that he was 'bricked up' as he dozed off after ta...

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Breathing To Be Taxed, Announces Chancellor

Funny story: Breathing To Be Taxed, Announces Chancellor

The Chancellor of the Exchecquer, Alistair Darling, today announced plans to create a new tax on breathing.

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Andy Enrages Hundreds

Funny story: Andy Enrages Hundreds

There was a young boy named Andy from the UK who wrote a fictitious story about a friend of mine. What he didn't realize is that he started a war. And this war will rage on until he realizes that it's not nice to write things about people, especially if it depicts this living, breathing person doing something that could get them into trouble.

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Air Not as Important as You Think

A new study done by some research team shows that air may not be as important for your health as you may think. This study challenges such claims as "You should breathe 3,000 gallons of air every day" and "Pure air is better".

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Breathing Banned in California

Funny story: Breathing Banned in California

(Sacremento CA) Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law today to immediately ban breathing in California. The ban would prevent the exhalation of 25 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere each year by human beings and help stop global warming...

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Congress to Pass Breathing Tax HR 1090

Funny story: Congress to Pass Breathing Tax HR 1090

Crappers: 03/17/2008 Today congress is considering a bill to fight global warming today. The bill will cover every single aspects of your life. The tax will add another $2.00 per gallon of gasoline, diesel, kerosene, and heating oil. Also included in...

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Air Tax Soon to be put in Place

U.S. Congress has advised the citizens of the U.S. that a new tax is in the works and will begin immediately. Rep. Rich Mann stated that this new tax should bring forth extra money needed to expand military needs and allow Congress members to receive...

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Crusty Crab Ordered to Accommodate Oxygen Breathing Patrons

Funny story: Crusty Crab Ordered to Accommodate Oxygen Breathing Patrons

On Monday, the United States Supreme Court ordered the Crusty Crab restaurant, and specifically, the sole proprietor thereof, one Eugene Crabs, to provide equal access to land based, oxygen breathing patrons.

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Half-man Half-Fish. Found In Deep Trench!

Funny story: Half-man Half-Fish. Found In Deep Trench!

In what is surely the most sensational discovery of the year, a half-man half-fish has been found alive and well, breathing and living his life at the bottom of the Marinas Trench, in the eastern Pacific Ocean.

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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