Owner of Hamstrad electronics and all round business genius, Lord Alan Sweetener, yesterday denied that his latest product was of inferior quality.
Around 300 customers have complained about the 'Toast-a-Matic 900'.
According to one customer, P...
It was a real case of 'Gerram Orf Moi Land' today when singing sensation Rihanna was unceremoniously evicted from a wheat field in Ireland, simply for getting her baps out.
The American singer of such great hits as Umberella, and other stuff she d...
London - A Delancey Street kebab take-away owner was gobsmacked this weekend after an image of Amy Winehouse's face popped up on some pitta he was toasting.
Costas Parasitidis said the spooky cameo appeared suddenly the moment he heard about Wineh...
NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread.
LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack
If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...
In a classic case of Political Correctness gone mad, absolutely lusciously scrummy yummy mummy and much sought after MILF, Virginia De Phoarr, of Aylesbury was told off by a park warden for feeding the ducks the wrong kind of bread.
Virginia, 29 a...
Brodford man Kevin Smally was horrified to discover a loaf of bread inside a mouse on Sunday.
"I had bought the mouse from Discount Butchers on the High Street, and the wife had cooked it up for Sunday lunch" said Mr Smally. "Imagine our surprise...
In an amazing new twist today it has been revealed that the cat who was dyed pink and thrown over a garden wall actually chased a mouse into a loaf of bread in the Hovis factory.
A man has come forward stating that he dialled 999 after spotting th...
A food production company has been fined 50 pounds after the star of an insurance comparison website advert was found in a loaf of bread.
Aleksandr Orlov of Compare the Meerkat fame was discovered by a man in Oxford as he was making sandwiches for...
The famous long, thin and crispy French baguette, so loved by visitors to France, has disappeared from the shelves of Paris bakeries. This was something which last happened 221 years ago (1789) and which sparked off the French Revolution and resulted...
Consumer groups here in arctic Britain today launched a scathing attack on Britain's selfish, uncaring panic-buying hoarders, labelling them as "Bastards!"
In supermarkets all over the country, shoppers were greeted by empty fresh veg sections, em...
(Defecated News) Troubled star George Michael has had to deal with many addictions over his lifetime.
These include addiction to:
> Lying about his gayness
> Only having one dance move
> Being a Serial Fudge-Packer
> Being shit...
Scientists have today revealed that foods containing the sweetener 'fructose' can seriously damage your health.
Even minute trace elements of the artificial sweetener can cause horrific reactions.
Dr Strabismus whom God preserve of Utrecht, tol...
The widely popular television (also known as the stoner's paradise, the picto-cube, the Funbox, and the idiot box) is now the greatest achievement in the history of mankind since the wheel, sliced bread and, according to many, white chocolate Kinder...
God's been talking more bollox and this time it's about foodstuffs. The divine being was waiting in line at the local supermarket when he suddenly began preaching in his usual demented manner.
He said that man cannot live by bread alone - which is...
In a landmark test case ruling, Worcester magistrates imposed a lifetime Supermarket ban on Worcester woman Carol Ann Jones because she insisted on squeezing every loaf of bread on display in order to 'test it for freshness.'
Supermarket giants co...
Police have named the thirteenth victim of "Judge Dead" as Dr Urnst Scourplug, the mad cap inventor of sliced bread. He died peacefully at his home whilst being hacked to death in a blood-lust attack by a mad axe-wielding killer. The killer, The Righ...
Following the recent experiments with the LHC, Professor Hugh Jarse was able to reveal how toasters actually work.
"The question of where did the bread go when the toast comes out has now been answered." Said Profesor Jarse
He went on to explai...
Haiti's President Déficit has ordered people to stop rioting over soaring bread prices.