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Funny satire stories about bread

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Local Hero Makes Bread Heel Sandwich

Around lunchtime yesterday, area man Francis Parker stunned his housemates when he made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This wasn't a normal sandwich, however; instead of foregoing the bread heel and selecting two non-heel slices - as any san...

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Portugal and Peru Vow To Support The Ukraine If Russia Invades

Funny story: Portugal and Peru Vow To Support The Ukraine If Russia Invades

KIEV, Ukraine - The Ukraine has just sent word to the governments of Portugal and Peru thanking them for their fabulous offer of support should they be invaded by Russia. A spokesperson for the Ukraine, Chertov Zappavitski, stated that at serious...

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U S Government Policy Shifting to Bread and Circuses

Funny story: U S Government Policy Shifting to Bread and Circuses

The desires of the American people are finally being heard in Washington.After feeding the American People to a huge monster we call Big Data, and after over a decade of sending the low-income and worthy overseas to be shot at; Congress and President...

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President Obama Explains Why He Plans To Levy A 25¢ Tax On A Loaf of Bread

Funny story: President Obama Explains Why He Plans To Levy A 25¢ Tax On A Loaf of Bread

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama recently met with three of his top advisors including civilian advisor Oprah Winfrey. The group discussed ways of trying to repay China some of the $17 trillion that she has lent to the United States. One unna...

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Britain's last crumpet factory closes

Funny story: Britain's last crumpet factory closes

There was wailing on the streets of Bradford as Kingsburton closed the last crumpet factory operating in Britain. "We have been making crumpets in Bradford for nearly four hundred years," said Kingsburton spokesman, Hillary Hovis. "Unfortunately,...

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Lord Sweetener's New Toaster Turn's Sour

Funny story: Lord Sweetener's New Toaster Turn's Sour

Owner of Hamstrad electronics and all round business genius, Lord Alan Sweetener, yesterday denied that his latest product was of inferior quality. Around 300 customers have complained about the 'Toast-a-Matic 900'. According to one customer, P...

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Rihanna Told To Get Baps Out Of Wheat Field

Funny story: Rihanna Told To Get Baps Out Of Wheat Field

It was a real case of 'Gerram Orf Moi Land' today when singing sensation Rihanna was unceremoniously evicted from a wheat field in Ireland, simply for getting her baps out. The American singer of such great hits as Umberella, and other stuff she d...

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Amy Winehouse face appears on kebab pitta bread

Funny story: Amy Winehouse face appears on kebab pitta bread

London - A Delancey Street kebab take-away owner was gobsmacked this weekend after an image of Amy Winehouse's face popped up on some pitta he was toasting. Costas Parasitidis said the spooky cameo appeared suddenly the moment he heard about Wineh...

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Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

Funny story: Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread. LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...

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Aylesbury Mum Told Off For Feeding Park Ducks "Wrong Type" Of Bread

Funny story: Aylesbury Mum Told Off For Feeding Park Ducks "Wrong Type" Of Bread

In a classic case of Political Correctness gone mad, absolutely lusciously scrummy yummy mummy and much sought after MILF, Virginia De Phoarr, of Aylesbury was told off by a park warden for feeding the ducks the wrong kind of bread. Virginia, 29 a...

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Loaf of bread found in mouse

Funny story: Loaf of bread found in mouse

Brodford man Kevin Smally was horrified to discover a loaf of bread inside a mouse on Sunday. "I had bought the mouse from Discount Butchers on the High Street, and the wife had cooked it up for Sunday lunch" said Mr Smally. "Imagine our surprise...

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Pink Cat Chased Mouse Into Loaf of Bread

Funny story: Pink Cat Chased Mouse Into Loaf of Bread

In an amazing new twist today it has been revealed that the cat who was dyed pink and thrown over a garden wall actually chased a mouse into a loaf of bread in the Hovis factory. A man has come forward stating that he dialled 999 after spotting th...

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Compare the Meerkat's Aleksandr Orlov found in loaf of bread

Funny story: Compare the Meerkat's Aleksandr Orlov found in loaf of bread

A food production company has been fined 50 pounds after the star of an insurance comparison website advert was found in a loaf of bread. Aleksandr Orlov of Compare the Meerkat fame was discovered by a man in Oxford as he was making sandwiches for...

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Paris runs out of bread: to blame Woody Allen and Carla Bruni

Funny story: Paris runs out of bread: to blame Woody Allen and Carla Bruni

The famous long, thin and crispy French baguette, so loved by visitors to France, has disappeared from the shelves of Paris bakeries. This was something which last happened 221 years ago (1789) and which sparked off the French Revolution and resulted...

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Bastards! - Consumer Groups Slam Brit Panic Buyers

Funny story: Bastards! - Consumer Groups Slam Brit Panic Buyers

Consumer groups here in arctic Britain today launched a scathing attack on Britain's selfish, uncaring panic-buying hoarders, labelling them as "Bastards!" In supermarkets all over the country, shoppers were greeted by empty fresh veg sections, em...

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George Michael 'Snorts Breadcrumbs'

Funny story: George Michael 'Snorts Breadcrumbs'

(Defecated News) Troubled star George Michael has had to deal with many addictions over his lifetime. These include addiction to: > Lying about his gayness > Only having one dance move > Being a Serial Fudge-Packer > Being shit...

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Harmless sweetener can kill you dead, say scientists

Funny story: Harmless sweetener can kill you dead, say scientists

Scientists have today revealed that foods containing the sweetener 'fructose' can seriously damage your health. Even minute trace elements of the artificial sweetener can cause horrific reactions. Dr Strabismus whom God preserve of Utrecht, tol...

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Sliced Bread Knocked off top spot!

Funny story: Sliced Bread Knocked off top spot!

The widely popular television (also known as the stoner's paradise, the picto-cube, the Funbox, and the idiot box) is now the greatest achievement in the history of mankind since the wheel, sliced bread and, according to many, white chocolate Kinder...

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