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Funny story: Happenings Around Boogertown

Happenings Around Boogertown

Boogertown's favorite weather guy and aluminum collector, Jerry "Tin Can" Bratcher is blaming our local weather on NAFTA. Jerry came by the Boogertown Banner office on Teddy Street this morning to say, "It's that dang NAFTA. We're getting snow from Canada and all that heat from Mexico! I'll never vote for Bush or Clinton or Osama again! You all got any aluminum cans?" Apparently, Booger C...
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Funny story: Boogertown Has (Is) A Wreck

Boogertown Has (Is) A Wreck

Boogertown Mayor Halls met with the city council last night for four hours about who called who a Democrat first. Suddenly the council members noticed that Mayor Halls had left the building. Halls was later found sitting in front of the Silver War Statue outside the courthouse Indian style playing a game of checkers with a rabbit and crying. When asked what was wrong, Hall stated that "he k...
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Funny story: Booger County Family Eaten By Snake

Booger County Family Eaten By Snake

An entire Booger County family was seemingly swallowed up by a giant 30-foot African Mubutu snake that somehow entered their home in Boogerville by way of a dryer vent. Neighbors called police after the family failed to take in their newspaper, The B...
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Funny story: Terrorist Plane In Booger County?

Terrorist Plane In Booger County?

A small airplane clipped a private house on the Boogersville Road, Wednesday afternoon according to Booger County Sheriff Giddy. No one was injured. Giddy told the Boogertown Banner that at this time they believe the crash was the work of known...
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Funny story: Booger Creek Man Wild Over First Vacation!

Booger Creek Man Wild Over First Vacation!

A day-long trip to Kentucky Kingdom this week afforded Booger Creek factory worker John Joe Hampton the most pleasant moments of his 59-year-old life. Hampton, who has worked as a welding specialist for Holly Carburetor 35 years in nearby Booger Green, said he had never been to the 125-acre theme park, despite living less than eighty-five miles away in northern Tennessee. "I never knowed wha...
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Funny story: News In & Around Boogertown

News In & Around Boogertown

Former Booger County resident, Bobby Rob Robinson, who has been a hermit living out in Old Man Kelsey's Woods for the past 15 years will be the subject of a PBS documentary that will be aired sometimes in 2012. In the meantime, a group of photog...
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Funny story: Boogertown's Edith Snotgrass Has Never Given Up On Finding Her Cat, Colonel Mustard

Boogertown's Edith Snotgrass Has Never Given Up On Finding Her Cat, Colonel Mustard

Although her cat went missing in 1980 when Mrs Edith Snotgrass moved to West Boogertown, unfortunately the cat was no where to be seen when she arrived at her new home. "I let Colonel Mustard out at about six but told him to be back by eleven wh...
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Funny story: Boogertown Banner: Sudden Inspiration Shot To Blazes, Not By Me!

Boogertown Banner: Sudden Inspiration Shot To Blazes, Not By Me!

Local Boogertown used car dealer, Ronald "Porky" Arnold was really down when he left town for a weekend trip to see his daughter in Leechfield said several of his friends so the Boogertown Banner got on his trail to see what was up with Porky. I f...
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Funny story: Another Sorry-Ass Day In Boogertown

Another Sorry-Ass Day In Boogertown

"Let me know when Larry gets his sorry ass in here to work this morning", Buddy Gooseneck told his secretary at the Boogertown Sawmill office Monday morning. Gooseneck had just about had it "up to here" with Millard Feltmore Johnson and his sorry-ass excuses for being late to work on Monday mornings because he'd seen him out drinking with his buddies once again over the weekend. At 11 AM, Go...
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Funny story: News In & Around Boogertown: Boogertown Bank Robbed!

News In & Around Boogertown: Boogertown Bank Robbed!

Boogertown Police officials held a press conference at the back of the Boogertown Banner this morning to ask the public's help in catching the robber of the Boogertown Bank, a man whom they have dubbed the "Boogertown Bank Robber Bandit." Be sur...
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President Obama Issues Executive Order, Combining ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change

President Obama issued an executive order today, directing the ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change to be combined into one department (FAT ASS).
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