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Funny story: Audi release a new car for the Somerset Levels

Audi release a new car for the Somerset Levels

Audi's latest model for the home counties and South of England is bound to make something of a splash when it hits the shores next November. "This car is something to behold," said Jeremy Clarkson in a pompous voice. "It is seriously cool," sai...
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Funny story: President Obama Tells Iran To Call Back Their Atlantic Ocean Boats Or He'll Blow Them Out of The Water

President Obama Tells Iran To Call Back Their Atlantic Ocean Boats Or He'll Blow Them Out of The Water

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has sent a very strongly worded message to the Iranian government. The president informed Iranian President Hassan Rouhani that he will not play games with Iran and he had better call back his boats or else they...
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Funny story: Local Businessman Lost His Yacht: He Simply Forgot Where He Put It

Local Businessman Lost His Yacht: He Simply Forgot Where He Put It

We often misplace things. Keys, wallets, even briefcases and laptops have gone missing simply by misplacing them temporarily. And this Louisville man, whose favorite gifts at Christmas is a bottle of Makers, or tequila. He misplaces things, too. A lo...
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Funny story: 'Chevron' design clue to ownership of world's newest, biggest motor yacht 'Project Azzam'

'Chevron' design clue to ownership of world's newest, biggest motor yacht 'Project Azzam'

New York - Oligarchs cruising the balmy waters of the Eastern Mediterranean are said to be gobsmacked at news that the world's swishest, sexiest, biggest, costliest and most desirable ocean-going mega-yacht - codenamed 'Project Azzam' - will be homew...
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Funny story: Royal Boat Show

Royal Boat Show

To coincide with the upcoming mass hysteria for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Boatshow during June hence, 'Atlas Editions' that well known publishing house responsible for churning out endless crap collectables is 'launching' a new weekly magazine.
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Funny story: Fish Attack!

Fish Attack!

A young fisherman in Bolivia committed suicide in the most awesome distressing way yesterday. He took his trusty two man boat (the SS Clinically Depressed) out onto a stretch of river that was known locally as "Wie sobberus do solim goeous" which rou...
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Funny story: Cunard Ship Lines To Merge With Aero Lingus To Create New Travel Giant Cun-A-Lingus

Cunard Ship Lines To Merge With Aero Lingus To Create New Travel Giant Cun-A-Lingus

A new transportation giant will be created when Cunard Ship Lines merges with Aero Lingus. The new company, to be named Cun-A-Lingus, will be the largest company of its type in the world. Richard Licker, a spokesman for the merged company, said th...
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Funny story: Whale activist boat rammed by whale pod sinks

Whale activist boat rammed by whale pod sinks

A whaling activist group has been dealt a heavy blow after a pod of whales rammed their boat 'Drew Carey' in South American seas this afternoon. The boat sank immediately with the loss of all hands on board. The Drew Carey had been tailing the Ja...
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Funny story: Bermuda Triangle Found In Plymouth

Bermuda Triangle Found In Plymouth

Marine Biologists from all over the world gathered in amazement in Plymouth this week to witness this spectacular discovery. The Bermuda Triangle, for centuries the biggest danger to ships around Bermuda was dragged up in a fisherman's trawler ne...
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Funny story: Boats - By Martin Shuttlecock

Boats - By Martin Shuttlecock

Boats... It's a bit hard to write about boats when you were brought up over a hundred miles away from the sea. At least it seemed that far. Even though it was probably less than that. My favourite true boat related story is the time, as kids, we nicked a 40 foot cast iron coal barge and punted the bastard 2 1/2 miles down the Leeds Liverpool canal. Using a clothes prop as a pole. We pu...
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Funny story: Airline Cargo Goes by Container Ship

Airline Cargo Goes by Container Ship

Rather than wait for the ash to clear, one British airline has shipped its entire airplanes, loaded with cargo, on container ships. During the Icelandic ash trauma several cargo airplanes were stranded in Amsterdam destined for the Middle East.
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Funny story: Beware of Greeks bearing ships

Beware of Greeks bearing ships

A large cruise ship shaped like a horse has been constructed in Melopollonia, Greece to serve as a hiding place for a core group of people to sneak undetected into a neighboring country which is better off financially. "Any country will do, just...
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Funny story: Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 5

Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 5

something really weird has just happened. It is about 10pm here in the UK, and it is a windy, wet night I was just sitting here reading with the TV off when I heard a boat engine in the distance. This is unusual, because you seldom hear boats after dark, and only when they are looking for somewhere to moor for the night. It has been dark for a long time, and any boat should have found a moorin...
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Funny story: Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 4

Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 4

For those of you, and that will be all of you, who don't know how canals work, it's like this. Water doesn't go up and down. It lies flat, like a pancake, or Ali McBeal's tits. If you want to go up a hill you have to go through a series of locks. These are just big holes cut on the side of the incline with f*****g humongous gates at each end. To go up you sail your boat in the bottom, shut t...
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Funny story: Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 3

Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 3

They're there.....The little f*****g sods are there. I'm looking out of the window and typing this at arms length, which is difficult because I have relatively short arms: compared to your average primate, that is. They are lined up on the far bank like the bloody cast of a Wallace and Gromit film. I'm sure the little bastards are made of clay. They're moving in stop frame animation the little...
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Funny story: Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 2

Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 2

I took my daughter, Lucy, and her fiancee, Brad, out last week for a liesurely cruise up the canal to a spot called 'Botany Bay' where there is a converted mill housing lots of craft shops and that kind of tosh. Anyway, I'm pootling along at the recommended 4mph, and I notice a barge following me and reducing the gap at an alarming rate. (He must have been doing all of 6mph!!....Hooligan!!) I d...
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Funny story: Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 1

Tales From a Northern Narrowboat 1

Not a lot happened over the weekend and I thought Captain Nigel's log would be left bare. Then guess what. The Brits never let you down. Captain Pugwash in his souwester loomed out of the rain and caught me amidships. And being caught amidships can bring a tear to your eyes, believe me. About 11am Sunday and I'm still in my dressing gown having a civilised cup of coffee and a scratch of the bal...
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Funny story: 'Wreck of Hesperus' found in North of England canal basin

'Wreck of Hesperus' found in North of England canal basin

British Waterways chiefs were yesterday said to be agog at the news that the 'Wreck of the Hesperus' had been found lying in a shallow basin on the Leeds and Liverpool canal near Chorley, Lancashire, England. North of England BW representative, Al...
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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