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Do Black Holes Matter?

Funny story: Do Black Holes Matter?

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the supernova world of intergalactic phenomena, the subject of black holes sucking the innards of failing stars into their astronomical vacuum might challenge mere mortals not accustomed to thinking outside the box. But allow...

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Prof. Stephen Hawking on Black Holes

Funny story: Prof. Stephen Hawking on Black Holes

Our science reporter from U-R-FKD magazine found Prof. Hawking in his study, hard at work at his computer. Our reporter, Toto Bohr, asked him some searching questions. Dr. Toto is no amateur in the field of scientific exploration. He is the man who invented the aquatic mousetrap, currently selling well in Malaysia. Hawking replied in his usual Dalek accent for which he is famous. B. So what...

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CERN Retracts Announcement of Having Created a Black Hole

Funny story: CERN Retracts Announcement of Having Created a Black Hole

Geneva, Switzerland - C.E.R.N., The European Organization for Nuclear Research, has retracted its claim made on Monday of having created an actual black hole in the collision chamber of the particle accelerator. CERN issued a very enthusiastic pre...

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Man's Facial Deformity After Inventing New Prune

Funny story: Man's Facial Deformity After Inventing New Prune

A man has suffered severe facial deformities after inventing a new type of prune. 'GM foods are becoming more and more popular, but this is one example we should not dismiss.' Benit Row of the food safety commission. 'I've never seen anything...

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Cover Up About Black Hole At Large Hadron Colider

There has been a massive cover up about a black hole at the Large.Hadron.Colider. as far the World knows it is having essential maintenance. When Scientists discovered the Higgs Bosum they also at the same time created a black hole. A top scien...

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Man on laptop recycles his recycle bin

A 34 Irish man is in hospital tonight after he accidentally recycled his recycle bin. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, was on his laptop at home when he made the fateful error. A hospital spokesman said the laptop went into an infinite...

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Black hole spotted in outer galaxy is definitely female!

Funny story: Black hole spotted in outer galaxy is definitely female!

Scientists in Texas have discovered a massive black hole in the outer galaxy, NGC 1277, and have confirmed it as definitely being female nicknaming it The Praying Pussy! Observing the black hole devour circulating stars reminded one scientist, Pro...

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Millions of "black holes" found in the Royal Albert Hall, not space!

Funny story: Millions of "black holes" found in the Royal Albert Hall, not space!

Sceintists have discovered millions of black holes and at first the scientific fraternity thought they were talking about those black holes a trillion miles away from earth; they could never have been further from the truth! The black holes have b...

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Black hole of Calcutta becomes reality!

Funny story: Black hole of Calcutta becomes reality!

Much of India has been thrown into darkness as a massive power cut plunged many Indian cities into pure darkness including Calcutta. Many of the local citizens, who haven't got the pleasure of electricity, went on the rampage, looting and breaking in...

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NASA Fires Publicity Department after Latest Black Hole Headlines

Funny story: NASA Fires Publicity Department after Latest Black Hole Headlines

Following a series of news reports about NASA's ability to "sniff the wind coming from a new black hole", the entire publicity department at the Kennedy Space Center was given their walking papers. "It might have been an honest mistake yes, but on...

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Steven Hawkins in Animal cruelty probe

Funny story: Steven Hawkins in Animal cruelty probe

Esteemed space pervert Prof Steven Hawkins has been under investigation by animal rights groups. The shock revelation comes as no surprise as the prof has been on a downward spiral of self destruction that would put Charlie sheen to shame. Hawkins...

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Astronomers Find Massive Black Holes In White House: Fear Them Coming To Hawaii Soon

Funny story: Astronomers Find Massive Black Holes In White House: Fear Them Coming To Hawaii Soon

WASHINGTON - Black holes: "They're the most destructive monsters in the universe. We already knew they can be powerfully massive. Now scientists say they have found the most massive ones yet; as reported in The Billingsgate Journal of Natural Sci...

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US Scientists discover God living in a massive black-hole!

Funny story: US Scientists discover God living in a massive black-hole!

Scientists at the University of Berkeley, California, have made an amazing discovery; God lives in a black-hole in a galaxy far away called NGC4889. The other God better known as A+++h (name changed for political reasons) also lives in a massive b...

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Astronomers find supermassive black holes in Sarah Palin's head

NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...

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Hadron collider in major collision!

Funny story: Hadron collider in major collision!

The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron. A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...

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Liverpool v Man Utd Too Massive To Be Seen?

Funny story: Liverpool v Man Utd Too Massive To Be Seen?

Scientists fear that today's football match between Liverpool and Manchester United will not be seen by anyone. They are concerned that the game is so massive that no light will escape from Anfield - the home of Liverpool. Said a science inside...

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"Black Hole" Machine to be switched on this week

Funny story: "Black Hole" Machine to be switched on this week

The latest in a long line of media-hysteria-baiting scientific devices is due to be activated this week. Scientists at CERN, near Geneva, ever sensitive to uninformed histrionic bellowing from the press about machines such as The Large Hadron Collid...

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Britney Spears Causes Massive Black Hole To Appear

Funny story: Britney Spears Causes Massive Black Hole To Appear

Britney Spears, the starlet turned trailer trash, has been accused of inadvertently opening up a huge black hole in her own home in Los Angeles. Fernando Flores, her now ex-bodyguard, has filed a lawsuit against the fallen star, for endangering hi...

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Breaking news…

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
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