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Funny story: Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

It's obvious my uterus has seen a better day. Too many years invested, in erotic sexual play. Committed now to aging with grace its duty done. A child carries on my name - a generation comes. My sex life is a private matter, I care not to discuss. Why Politicians think they speak ... for my uterus. Men are lusty school boys - ask any Catholic wife. If it wasn't for contraception, we'd be...
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Funny story: Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...
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Funny story: Pope & Iran Supreme Leader Meet, Agree On Birth Control

Pope & Iran Supreme Leader Meet, Agree On Birth Control

Just as Pope Francis landed on Iranian soil as part of his Middle East Tour, Iran has scrapped its birth control program, He was greeted at the tarmac by Anatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, whom the Pontiff immediately congratulated on closin...
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Funny story: Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Sunday, On National Television, Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York said, "Contraceptives, that are now widely available -- my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them -- is that right...
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Funny story: Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Fox News talk show host has made controversial remarks about female sexuality in the past. Yesterday, Huckabee said on his TV show, "Democrats tell women they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and p...
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Funny story: Cardinal Baloney: Sister Uses Wrong Shoe Polish

Cardinal Baloney: Sister Uses Wrong Shoe Polish

Responding to widespread coverage of the church pedophile scandal in Chicago, Cardinal Baloney today issued a statement on behalf of the College of Cardinals based in Rome. At a news conference yesterday, in Chicago, personnel files of 65 pedoph...
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Funny story: California Bans The Rhythm Birth Control Method

California Bans The Rhythm Birth Control Method

SACRAMENTO - Recent census numbers show that the state of California is fast approaching the 40 million population mark. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency if the population number continues to increase at the present rate Californ...
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Funny story: GOP Platform 2014: Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage and Vaginal Probe Laws

GOP Platform 2014: Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage and Vaginal Probe Laws

The institution of marriage is the foundation of civil society. Its success as an institution will determine our success as a theocracy. It has been proven by both experience and selective right-wing social science studies that traditional marriage is best for children. Children raised in intact married families with a mom and a pop, our studies show, are more likely to attend college, are physica...
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Funny story: Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

To battle the always combative Planned Parenthood in Texas, Governor Rick Perry has asked the state legislature to fund what he is calling "Unplanned Parenthood," a new non-profit whose mission, Perry explained, is to "promote bein' a parent for all...
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Funny story: A California Gynecologist Is Offering A Fabulous Free Offer

A California Gynecologist Is Offering A Fabulous Free Offer

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Dr. Kerwin P. Differdinski, a gynecologist in Sherman Oaks, California has found a unique way to attract new customers and to keep the ones he already has. Dr. Differdinski, 43, recently stated that the number of tubal l...
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Funny story: Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times. According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due t...
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Funny story: Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
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Funny story: The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

This September a woman asked me, "Yom Kippur, that's the holiday you buy the tickets for?" I found this somewhat disturbing since it was my Aunt Sadie. 95, I chalked it up old age. Ageist humor aside, I'll not reveal the identity of the woman who actually asked it because she is a shiksa in good standing with me. But it got me to thinking. It got me to thinking why it bothered me because I wasn...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Plays April Fool's Joke with a Condom

Pope Benedict XVI Plays April Fool's Joke with a Condom

In a quick visit to the U.S. before Holy Week, Pope Benedict XVI decided to play a little joke. Pope Benedict XVI stopped in several Midwestern cities to voice his support for the Catholic Church's crusade against "reproductive health" and the so...
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Funny story: Contraception Banned To Replenish The Slave Trade

Contraception Banned To Replenish The Slave Trade

While at a banquet in honor of the new "Broken Promises By a President Record", President Obama had one too many and let the real reason as to why America is planning out outlawing contraception slip to the shock of few but delight of many. Allegedl...
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Funny story: Republicans to Pass Sex Tax - Mandate Weekly Sex Testing For Women Only

Republicans to Pass Sex Tax - Mandate Weekly Sex Testing For Women Only

WASHINGTON DC (AP) Late yesterday, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Hooterville) announced stiff new legislation that would enact a national sex tax by "sex testing" all women every week. The Congressman explained that women would be require...
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Funny story: Obamacare Church Compromise Carves Out Muff-Diving And Buggery

Obamacare Church Compromise Carves Out Muff-Diving And Buggery

BILLINGSGATE POST - Arguments over the proclamation by President Obama that mandates church affiliated employers provide birth control benefits to their employees reached a high fever pitch in the House of Representatives yesterday as lesbians and ga...
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Funny story: Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

WASHINGTON, D.C. (UPI) Following the recent congressional hearings on the inclusion of birth control pills under health insurance prescription coverage, republican committee members co-sponsored new legislation to address what they called the "religi...
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