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Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

Funny story: Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...

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Pope hopes to clean up

Funny story: Pope hopes to clean up

To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...

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Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Funny story: Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...

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Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Funny story: Masturbation Police May Be Necessary

Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Iowa today spoke about the "sanctity of sacred sperm." "While it is true that a fertilized egg is a person, which is my position that certainly outlaws abortion in the cases of rape or incest,...

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Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

Funny story: Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

It's obvious my uterus has seen a better day. Too many years invested, in erotic sexual play. Committed now to aging with grace its duty done. A child carries on my name - a generation comes. My sex life is a private matter, I care not to discuss. Why Politicians think they speak ... for my uterus. Men are lusty school boys - ask any Catholic wife. If it wasn't for contraception, we'd be...

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Angry Liberals Vow to Open New Chain of Stores Called 'Snobby Lobby'

Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...

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Pope & Iran Supreme Leader Meet, Agree On Birth Control

Funny story: Pope & Iran Supreme Leader Meet, Agree On Birth Control

Just as Pope Francis landed on Iranian soil as part of his Middle East Tour, Iran has scrapped its birth control program, He was greeted at the tarmac by Anatollah Ali Khamenei, Supreme Leader, whom the Pontiff immediately congratulated on closin...

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Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Funny story: Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Sunday, On National Television, Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York said, "Contraceptives, that are now widely available -- my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them -- is that right...

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Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Funny story: Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Fox News talk show host has made controversial remarks about female sexuality in the past. Yesterday, Huckabee said on his TV show, "Democrats tell women they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and p...

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Cardinal Baloney: Sister Uses Wrong Shoe Polish

Funny story: Cardinal Baloney: Sister Uses Wrong Shoe Polish

Responding to widespread coverage of the church pedophile scandal in Chicago, Cardinal Baloney today issued a statement on behalf of the College of Cardinals based in Rome. At a news conference yesterday, in Chicago, personnel files of 65 pedoph...

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California Bans The Rhythm Birth Control Method

Funny story: California Bans The Rhythm Birth Control Method

SACRAMENTO - Recent census numbers show that the state of California is fast approaching the 40 million population mark. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency if the population number continues to increase at the present rate Californ...

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GOP Platform 2016: Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage and Vaginal Probe Laws While Re-visioning the GOP as the Party of the Big, Albeit More Selective, Tent

Funny story: GOP Platform 2016: Preserving and Protecting Traditional Marriage and Vaginal Probe Laws While Re-visioning the GOP as the Party of the Big, Albeit More Selective, Tent

The institution of marriage is the foundation of civil society. Its success as an institution will determine our success as a theocracy. It has been proven by both experience and selective right-wing social science studies that traditional marriage is best for children. Children raised in intact married families with a mom and a pop, our studies show, are more likely to attend college, are physica...

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Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

Funny story: Governor Rick Perry Asks State Legislature to Fund Unplanned Parenthood

To battle the always combative Planned Parenthood in Texas, Governor Rick Perry has asked the state legislature to fund what he is calling "Unplanned Parenthood," a new non-profit whose mission, Perry explained, is to "promote bein' a parent for all...

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A California Gynecologist Is Offering A Fabulous Free Offer

Funny story: A California Gynecologist Is Offering A Fabulous Free Offer

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Dr. Kerwin P. Differdinski, a gynecologist in Sherman Oaks, California has found a unique way to attract new customers and to keep the ones he already has. Dr. Differdinski, 43, recently stated that the number of tubal l...

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Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

Funny story: Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times. According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due t...

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Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Funny story: Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...

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The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

Funny story: The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

This September a woman asked me, "Yom Kippur, that's the holiday you buy the tickets for?" I found this somewhat disturbing since it was my Aunt Sadie. 95, I chalked it up old age. Ageist humor aside, I'll not reveal the identity of the woman who actually asked it because she is a shiksa in good standing with me. But it got me to thinking. It got me to thinking why it bothered me because I wasn...

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Pope Benedict XVI Plays April Fool's Joke with a Condom

In a quick visit to the U.S. before Holy Week, Pope Benedict XVI decided to play a little joke. Pope Benedict XVI stopped in several Midwestern cities to voice his support for the Catholic Church's crusade against "reproductive health" and the so...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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