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Funny satire stories about bars

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Funny story:  Lindsay Lohan Says She Was Groped In Her Hotel Room

Lindsay Lohan Says She Was Groped In Her Hotel Room

NEW YORK CITY - Like a moth to a flame, trouble seems to seek out Lindsay Lohan as if she is the only celebrity in the world of LaLaLand. Lohan, who has had two vehicular accidents, stolen a $2,500 necklace, participated in a game of Spin The Jose...
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Funny story:  Confessions of an undercover Jesuit in Mormon American Fork, Utah and how I alone will defeat Mitt Romney

Confessions of an undercover Jesuit in Mormon American Fork, Utah and how I alone will defeat Mitt Romney

I am a Roman Catholic clergyman, a Jesuit. From 1991 through the fall of 1994, I lived in American Fork, Utah, a then small, village between Salt Lake City and Provo. I was a missionary to the Mormons. I was also deeply under cover. For the first year-and-a-half my cover was that of a bar fly with my own stool at the le Sabre Lounge in American Fork, an honest to goodness bar (a private cl...
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Funny story:  Man in bar referring to sport team as "we"

Man in bar referring to sport team as "we"

NEW YORK, NY - Though he is not an active, reserve, or practice squad member of the New York Jets, area man Kris Hellersworth repeatedly identified himself with the organization during Monday night's game, according to observers. "Goddammit! We ne...
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Funny story:  A man walks into a bar to meet others for a "A Man Walks Into a Bar" joke convention

A man walks into a bar to meet others for a "A Man Walks Into a Bar" joke convention

They were all there, the first man who ever did it, now an old wheelchair bound octogenarian, the next few men who walked into various bars in various jokes the world over. The Horse, The Zebra, The two blonds, the twelve inch pianist. The bar was packed with anyone who was anyone in the "A Man Walks Into a Bar" joke world. There have been countless variations on this joke down throughout t...
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Funny story:  "Tahoe Bar and Girl" Features Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear

"Tahoe Bar and Girl" Features Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear

Admitting to creating a play on words twice in the same sentence, Nevada real estate developer and entrepreneur, Manny Slongenhard, will be opening a new multi service entertainment establishment in Lake Tahoe next spring called the Tahoe Bar and Gir...
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Funny story:  Blagojevich's Tavern to Open in Chicago Illinois

Blagojevich's Tavern to Open in Chicago Illinois

Chicago IL, November 2, 2010: Former Republican State Treasurer Judy Baar Topinka has unseated the Democratic Governor Rod Blagojevich in a close election contest. Governor Blagojevich had been accused of selling President Barack Obama's vacated Sena...
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Funny story:  Bar's Bath Tub Gin Blinding Patrons - Bar Shuttered

Bar's Bath Tub Gin Blinding Patrons - Bar Shuttered

EMMAUS - Constable Finless closed the Emmaus Saloon for serving its 'Aspartame Knocker': 2 jiggers lemon juice, 1 PURE aspartame. Blinded patrons were knocked on their Pennsylvania dutch lardy butts (PDLB). Investigation by the Emmaus constable re...
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Funny story:  Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Absinthe was taken off of the liquor store shelves and out of the bars and saloons of the United States over 100 years ago. Doctors, at the time, said that the drink caused blindness, seizures, and insanity.
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Funny story:  Bush attacks Happy Hour

Bush attacks Happy Hour

With stocks falling, oil prices rising, jobs being outsourced to other countries and relations with the roiling Middle East choppy at best, President George W. Bush announced a full-scale plan to cut back Happy Hour by six minutes in the United State...
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Funny story:  Getting around the smoking ban

Getting around the smoking ban

(Seattle, WA) As more states enact smoking bans, some business owners are taking legal steps to preserve their smoking sections. They are handing over their property to Native Americans.
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Funny story:  Downtown merchants like new signs

Downtown merchants like new signs

(Seattle, WA) City stores exiting to alleyways are appreciative of new street placards being posted near garbage bins and back doorways.
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Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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