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Funny story: Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Providence, RI, and Athens, Gr -- Usually, it's a case of finders keepers, losers weepers. Not this time, though. A "prominent collector" in Rhode Island (which, despite its name, is not actually an island) relinquished his claims to ownership...
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Funny story: CeX customers believe it's 1999

CeX customers believe it's 1999

The latest market research from Mintel has revealed that 82% of customers at CeX are mentally stuck in 1999. CeX has hundreds of potent smelling stores across the country, where members of the public trade in box sets of Buffy The Vampire Slayer f...
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Funny story: U. S. Bureau of Land Management wants to convert horses into horsemeat

U. S. Bureau of Land Management wants to convert horses into horsemeat

Faced with a financial downturn and possible bankruptcy, the U. S. Bureau of Land Management, which manages not only land, but also wild horses, burros, rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, skunks, porcupines, armadillos, and a number of other "wildlife resour...
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Funny story: Hundreds of Aliens Spotted in West Virginia! Dozens Reported Missing!

Hundreds of Aliens Spotted in West Virginia! Dozens Reported Missing!

"Whatever these things are or wherever they are from, they're sure interested in our chemical spill", says police officer. "I'm far from the water here and don't have to wear any special gear but I'll be glad to leave anyway." Others within ten mi...
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Funny story: Detroit is Severely Criticised by Bankruptcy Manager for Not Disclosing Lottery Wins

Detroit is Severely Criticised by Bankruptcy Manager for Not Disclosing Lottery Wins

Detroit, MI Detroit was chastised by the emergency bankruptcy manager for not revealing its lottery wins. It appears that Detroit has just been going out and having a good time and not letting the bankruptcy manager know about the windfalls. "It'...
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Funny story: New blow for Detroit bankruptcy as City's $1billion art collection branded 'mostly fake'

New blow for Detroit bankruptcy as City's $1billion art collection branded 'mostly fake'

Detroit, Michigan - A last ditch rescue bid to save Detroit from skid row this weekend has gone down the pan following assessments by international experts of its 2,800-strong collection of paintings, sculptures, pottery pieces and other precious ar...
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Funny story: Detroit's Toe Tag Gang Declares Bankruptcy

Detroit's Toe Tag Gang Declares Bankruptcy

It's not often that you hear of a Gang declaring bankruptcy but the once extremely vicious Toe Tag Gang of Detroit has filed today. "We used to control the funeral homes and Crematoriums all over the city", says ex-gang member Joe Mackerel. But t...
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Funny story: Detroit Lions Cheerleaders To Sell Their Bras and Panties on eBay And Donate The Money To The City of Detroit

Detroit Lions Cheerleaders To Sell Their Bras and Panties on eBay And Donate The Money To The City of Detroit

DETROIT - The Detroit Lions cheerleaders held an emergency meeting at The Carburetor Coliseum and decided to collectively do something to help the city of Detroit which has filed for bankruptcy. Lions head cheerleader Brooke Springbutter, 24, info...
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Funny story: Munchkin City Declares Bankrutpcy

Munchkin City Declares Bankrutpcy

Munchkin City, Oz-- The mayor of the Munchkin City says the place is bankrupt and will not be able to pay its bills. It becomes the largest fictional city to declare bankruptcy since Metropolis. A last-ditch bailout by the Wizard of Oz was rejected...
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Funny story: The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Hostess Brands, the bakers of Wonder Bread, Ho Hos and Twinkies, announced today it will shut down its remaining two plants due to a strike that crippled its operations. Although the company will cease operations, Twinkies ha...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney launches a 'War on Bankruptcy'

Mitt Romney launches a 'War on Bankruptcy'

New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
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Funny story: Filesystem Squash FS Bank closed due to deposit and withdrawal error and lack of funds

Filesystem Squash FS Bank closed due to deposit and withdrawal error and lack of funds

DESPICABLE, ME (Acme Quicknews) -- Filesystem Squash FS Bank was closed last May 18, 2012 after a lack of funds to sustain the bank. The bank manager has posted a notice that after undergoing monthly or bi-monthly bank robberies and being unable t...
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Funny story: Kodak to be Bailed Out by Chuck Norris

Kodak to be Bailed Out by Chuck Norris

Following Chuck Norris's announcement that he will assume the Presidency in 2013, his financial advisors disclosed today that Mr. Norris will also take over the ailing Kodak Corporation in an apparent move to "Kick its butt back into shape". With...
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Funny story: Political News for W/E 13 Nov 2011 - with comments

Political News for W/E 13 Nov 2011 - with comments

6 Nov 2011: NHS: American Consultancy firm recieves £290,000 a year from UK Government! The Star An American consultancy firm seeking to profit out of thefallout from the shake-up to the NHS is being paid £250,000 a year by the government for advice on the transition towards health secretary Andrew Lansley's vision of the service. The company was one of 57 external "organisation and change" m...
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Funny story: Citing Economic Woes, HELL Will Close It's Doors

Citing Economic Woes, HELL Will Close It's Doors

For over 2000 years it was the "go to" company in post-life housing and employment but today HELL filed for Chapter 11 and announced will soon be closing its doors. Shares of HELL (NASDAQ) plummeted during the day and closed at $1.20, down from $307...
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Funny story: 'Rogue trader' Prince Harry notches up £1.3billion loss at City bank

'Rogue trader' Prince Harry notches up £1.3billion loss at City bank

London - Talked-up by Red Tops on Monday this week as executing Canary Wharf's historic 18 billion euro ($28.6 billion) currency trade today's headlines are, naturally, a bit of a disappointment. Harry's spurious involvement in the City's 'biggest...
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Funny story: Desperate Obama Seeks Advice from Gordon "Goldfinger" Brown on Liquidation of Gold Reserves!

Desperate Obama Seeks Advice from Gordon "Goldfinger" Brown on Liquidation of Gold Reserves!

Barry Obama, faced with the reality of an economic catastrophe which could cause him to be a one term President, initiated a crisis management call to former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown seeking liquidity and re election advice. (Ed. Note: you...
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Funny story: US not as good at borrowing money!

US not as good at borrowing money!

The financial world is reeling at the announcement that the US of A is not quite as good at borrowing money as it was yesterday. This surprise news comes just days after the US decided that it could borrow even more money by raising its debt ceili...
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Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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