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Funny satire stories about bagpipes

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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...
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Funny story: MacDison Swiss Army Bagpipes sold to U.S. Navy in $100m deal

MacDison Swiss Army Bagpipes sold to U.S. Navy in $100m deal

MacDison PLC has clinched a $100m contract to supply Swiss Army Bagpipes to the U.S. Navy. The innovative bagpipes include an Egg Boiler, Tyre Inflator, Knife Blade, Letter Opener, Light, Magnifying Glass, Money Clip, Nail File, Pen, Pin, Protractor,...
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Funny story: Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

Bagpipes With Tyre Inflator Attachment Tested By Ice Road Truck Companies

The best thing since sliced bread was unveiled today at a Franchise Exhibition in Chicago. An attachment the size of a USB pen drive which slots into the mouthpiece of a set of bagpipes has put an end to potential roadside flat tyre misery. The...
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Funny story: World Record £50 Million Sotheby's Auction Price Paid for Stradivarius Bagpipes

World Record £50 Million Sotheby's Auction Price Paid for Stradivarius Bagpipes

One of the world's most amazing musical instrument finds ever, yesterday sold for £50 million in a Sotheby's auction. One of only 15 sets of bagpipes ever made by Antonio Stradivari was uncovered in a tea chest in the back room of a Glasgow council...
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Funny story: Dyson to make bagless bagpipes

Dyson to make bagless bagpipes

Greg Dyson, whose factories make trillions of bagless vacuum hoovers has now patented bagless bagpipes, The bagpipes, which sound just as awful as traditional ones work on "cyclone technology" which is used in their hoovers. Alexei Salmon the Engl...
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Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

When I opened my eyes I saw red coals, licking flames. My left leg was burning. Above me, giant faces loomed; they were contorted hideously. Had I truly descended to hell? I had not. I looked about me. I was in the sitting room at 221b Candlestick Maker Street. The faces were those of Inspector Stanley Livingstone Stanley and - my God! - could it really be my friend Shylock Humes? I moaned, an...
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Funny story: The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IX; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IX; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery

Falling, I fell forever into fathomless blackness. Tumbling, I was helpless. Into what, I could not know, only that plunge I must, and for eternity. Was this Hell itself, was it Pandaemonium through which I plummetted? And yet, there were glimpses, terrible, desperate fleeting visions, of a world so dear. Of a world forever closed to me. Our bedroom, at home, the smell of lavender. The lovely f...
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Funny story: Scottish Government Ministers offer to play bagpipes at Megrahi's wake

Scottish Government Ministers offer to play bagpipes at Megrahi's wake

Alex Salmond and Kenny MacAskill, the architects of the early release of mass murderer Abdul Megrahi, have written to his wife following news that he may be dying, offering to play bagpipes at his wake. In a letter leaked to the Guardian, Salmond...
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Funny story: Bagpipe Farmers in Scotland feel the Squeeze

Bagpipe Farmers in Scotland feel the Squeeze

The present recession in the UK and bad weather have seriously affected the bagpipe farmers of Scotland. Angus MacStonedeef, head of the Scottish Bagpipe Farmers Association, with the help of a sign-language expert, explained to our reporter that...
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Funny story: Bin Laden Played Like a Bagpipe

Bin Laden Played Like a Bagpipe

It takes a crew of between six and nine terrorists to make the fragile leader of Al Qaeda "talk". It was related today that Osama Bin Laden can no longer talk on his own. That job is done by terrorists manipulating various parts of his body to make t...
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Funny story: Hoodies to learn the Bagpipes

Hoodies to learn the Bagpipes

In a bid to crack down on the wearing of Hoodies, Government officials are to make teenagers learn the bagpipes. It is believed that the wearing of Hoodies would stop if this was the case. Hoodie's who liked the sound of Bagpipes would find a natu...
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Funny story: Glasgow Rangers Fan Arrested In UEFA Bagpipe Rumpus

Glasgow Rangers Fan Arrested In UEFA Bagpipe Rumpus

A Scotsman wielding a set of bagpipes was arrested by police in Manchester last night after fans of Glasgow Rangers rampaged through the city centre singing and waving to passers-by.
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Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!

A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
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