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How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

Funny story: How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways.

With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, although she probably would have thought that Trump was an asshole too, as would her husband Robert, and any children they had, had they had any. How much of an asshole is Donald Trump? Let me count the ways: he is an asshole To the depth and breadth and height that fools Can reach, when they're wallowing in a dump. He is an asshole in every li...

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'Trump University taught valuable lessons,' says former student. 'Like Trump is an asshole.'

Funny story: 'Trump University taught valuable lessons,' says former student. 'Like Trump is an asshole.'

NEW YORK, Ny - The line of students claiming that the education they received from Trump University was as worthless as the bogus brochures that first enticed them is about as long as a Trump Tower turned on its side. In two sworn depositions take...

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Human's Early Warning Asshole Detectors Rule Out Another Romney Try as Mitt Romney's Asshole Detector Finally Kicks In!

Mitt Romney reminded me of how genetically sensitive most of us are in detecting "An Asshole". Darwin probably would have said it was a critical part of the natural selection process and connected to our most basic human reproduction drives. I mean -you don't want to reproduce with an asshole because your children will most likely become assholes (just look around) If Darwin DIDN'T think of this...

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"Assholism" Proposed as New Personality Disorder

Funny story: "Assholism" Proposed as New Personality Disorder

The American Pyschological Association (APA) is formally considering adding "assholism" as an official personality disorder to the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, as announced by a leading psychiatrist, who...

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Smart Phones Turn their Users into Assholes, Researchers say

Funny story: Smart Phones Turn their Users into Assholes, Researchers say

Dateline: BERKELEY--While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into assh...

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Nicest guy in Hollywood is much less of an a-hole than everyone else

Dirk Moncrief, star of the action film "DieWalker" series, was recently voted the nicest guy in Tinseltown, and referred to by many as "Way less of a douchebag than most other Hollywood celebrities." One key grip explained that while Moncrief...

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Putin running close second to Ahmadinejad for Top A-hole award

Funny story: Putin running close second to Ahmadinejad for Top A-hole award

MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin, realizing he has only but a few days left to 2012, is trying desperately in the year's remaining hours to up his street cred for The Complete and Utter Asshole of the Year Award. In an asshole move reminiscent of...

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Statues to be erected all over the planet in honour of total arseholes!

Funny story: Statues to be erected all over the planet in honour of total arseholes!

After the stunning success of Sir Alex Ferguson having his statue revealed at the Theatre of Dreams in Manchester, the United Nations, FIFA and Jaggedone (who?), have decided to erect statues to some of the world's greatest arseholes in places where masses of pigeons (and other birds) can shit all over them (SAF is not an arsehole BTW!). The statues would then become symbols of human madness an...

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Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

Funny story: Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

KANSAS CITY, MO (ABSNN) - In a Kansas City news conference today, Republican challenger Todd Akin, of "Legitimate Rape" fame accused incumbent US Senator Claire McCaskill of acting "unladylike," during Wednesday's TV and radio debate. "It beg...

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Romney injured "milking" a bull in Iowa

Funny story: Romney injured "milking" a bull in Iowa

COW PATTY, IOWA (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney attmpted to show farmers he was one of them at a dairy farm in this small Iowa village Saturday morning. It didn't turn out well for the Republican nominee. He was injured while "milking" a bull that was isolat...

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Charlie Sheen to Play Yet another Character Called "Charlie"...How Quirky

The seemingly never flushing turd that is Charlie Sheen will once again invade American TV with yet another sitcom in which he plays a character called Charlie. Sheen, who is a bit like that fly you cannot swat, the annoying Auntie who visits all...

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Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

Funny story: Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

A local man who was reported missing four days ago has been located, "safe and unsound", after an astonishing tip-off to his whereabouts from a 'remote-viewer' thousands of miles away in the USA, say Dorking police. Paul Twist, of 23 Abercorn Stre...

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New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

Funny story: New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

A new study published this month in the New England Journal of New England Medical Journals suggest that people who are predominately left brained are almost always first class ass holes. And to make matters worst the study shows they don't know they're ass holes either. So how can you, a person of impeccable standards, determine if you're left brained and consequently an ass hole? The first q...

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Asshole To Be Elected to Office

Funny story: Asshole To Be Elected to Office

2011 is just barely underway, and yet Washington D.C. is already abuzz about the 2012 elections. On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, all U.S. Representative seats and many Senate seats will be up for grabs, along with quite a few governor's races and legis...

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Local Bar Full of Assholes

Funny story: Local Bar Full of Assholes

D'Starkville, IN - My sources have learned of a local bar which, astoundingly, manages to be completely full of assholes on any given night. The bar in question, Cobb's Drinkhole, contains every variety of asshole, from the Big Dumb Asshole, all the...

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van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

Funny story: van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

Brussels, Belgium. Former martial arts champion and occasional actor, Jean Claude van Damme, has been selected by a panel of experts as the world's biggest asshole. The criterior used in choosing the winner was mainly how many girlfriends a celeb...

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Jack Daniels to Reissue Tee-Shirt to Identify Assholes

Funny story: Jack Daniels to Reissue Tee-Shirt to Identify Assholes

Lynchburg Tennessee - Distiller Jack Daniels, under pressure from Conservative spokesman Rush Limbaugh, have agreed to reissue their famous traditional black Tee-shirt popularly worn by assholes until recently. Limbaugh and his right leaning group...

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'Assholes For Lies' Demands No Further Investigation Into 911

Funny story: 'Assholes For Lies' Demands No Further Investigation Into 911

911 debunking group Assholes For Lies were shocked by the BBC's latest hit peace of a documentary 'The Conspiracy Files - 911 The Third Tower', which aired on BBC2 on Sunday night.

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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