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Funny story: Smart Phones Turn their Users into Assholes, Researchers say

Smart Phones Turn their Users into Assholes, Researchers say

Dateline: BERKELEY--While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into assh...
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Funny story: Nicest guy in Hollywood is much less of an a-hole than everyone else

Nicest guy in Hollywood is much less of an a-hole than everyone else

Dirk Moncrief, star of the action film "DieWalker" series, was recently voted the nicest guy in Tinseltown, and referred to by many as "Way less of a douchebag than most other Hollywood celebrities." One key grip explained that while Moncrief...
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Funny story: Putin running close second to Ahmadinejad for Top A-hole award

Putin running close second to Ahmadinejad for Top A-hole award

MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin, realizing he has only but a few days left to 2012, is trying desperately in the year's remaining hours to up his street cred for The Complete and Utter Asshole of the Year Award. In an asshole move reminiscent of...
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Funny story: Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

KANSAS CITY, MO (ABSNN) - In a Kansas City news conference today, Republican challenger Todd Akin, of "Legitimate Rape" fame accused incumbent US Senator Claire McCaskill of acting "unladylike," during Wednesday's TV and radio debate. "It beg...
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Funny story: Romney injured "milking" a bull in Iowa

Romney injured "milking" a bull in Iowa

COW PATTY, IOWA (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney attmpted to show farmers he was one of them at a dairy farm in this small Iowa village Saturday morning. It didn't turn out well for the Republican nominee. He was injured while "milking" a bull that was isolat...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen to Play Yet another Character Called "Charlie"...How Quirky

Charlie Sheen to Play Yet another Character Called "Charlie"...How Quirky

The seemingly never flushing turd that is Charlie Sheen will once again invade American TV with yet another sitcom in which he plays a character called Charlie. Sheen, who is a bit like that fly you cannot swat, the annoying Auntie who visits all...
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Funny story: Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

Missing Dorking Man Found Up Own Arse

A local man who was reported missing four days ago has been located, "safe and unsound", after an astonishing tip-off to his whereabouts from a 'remote-viewer' thousands of miles away in the USA, say Dorking police. Paul Twist, of 23 Abercorn Stre...
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Funny story: New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

New Study Shows Left Brained People Just aren't Right

A new study published this month in the New England Journal of New England Medical Journals suggest that people who are predominately left brained are almost always first class ass holes. And to make matters worst the study shows they don't know they're ass holes either. So how can you, a person of impeccable standards, determine if you're left brained and consequently an ass hole? The first q...
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Funny story: Asshole To Be Elected to Office

Asshole To Be Elected to Office

2011 is just barely underway, and yet Washington D.C. is already abuzz about the 2012 elections. On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, all U.S. Representative seats and many Senate seats will be up for grabs, along with quite a few governor's races and legis...
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Funny story: Local Bar Full of Assholes

Local Bar Full of Assholes

D'Starkville, IN - My sources have learned of a local bar which, astoundingly, manages to be completely full of assholes on any given night. The bar in question, Cobb's Drinkhole, contains every variety of asshole, from the Big Dumb Asshole, all the...
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Funny story: van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

van Damme confirmed, at last, as worst asshole

Brussels, Belgium. Former martial arts champion and occasional actor, Jean Claude van Damme, has been selected by a panel of experts as the world's biggest asshole. The criterior used in choosing the winner was mainly how many girlfriends a celeb...
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Funny story: Jack Daniels to Reissue Tee-Shirt to Identify Assholes

Jack Daniels to Reissue Tee-Shirt to Identify Assholes

Lynchburg Tennessee - Distiller Jack Daniels, under pressure from Conservative spokesman Rush Limbaugh, have agreed to reissue their famous traditional black Tee-shirt popularly worn by assholes until recently. Limbaugh and his right leaning group...
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Funny story: 'Assholes For Lies' Demands No Further Investigation Into 911

'Assholes For Lies' Demands No Further Investigation Into 911

911 debunking group Assholes For Lies were shocked by the BBC's latest hit peace of a documentary 'The Conspiracy Files - 911 The Third Tower', which aired on BBC2 on Sunday night.
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Funny story: ABC's of Driving

ABC's of Driving

A is for being an Asshole on the road.
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Funny story: 94% of Jerks are also Pricks, Study Finds

94% of Jerks are also Pricks, Study Finds

Glasgow, Scotland - Postgraduate researchers at the University of Strathclyde now have compelling evidence linking two personality types: 'Jerks' and 'Pricks'.
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Funny story: Big penis guy dumps girlfriend for man with huge asshole

Big penis guy dumps girlfriend for man with huge asshole

Dave Pekering, the Briitsh citizen who holds the world record for having the largest penis, has dumped his Russian girlfriend in order to date a man.
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Funny story: Spoof makes error in Bush "Asshole" article

Spoof makes error in Bush "Asshole" article

On May 10, Spoof reporter Dan Bristol submitted an article in which President George W. Bush is reported to have admitted to reporters during a press conference "I'm an asshole."...
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Funny story: Oprah says, "Everyone should meet their asshole."

Oprah says, "Everyone should meet their asshole."

Oprah Winfrey, whose enormously popular book club has made new authors rise to the best-seller list in a matter of days, has announced a new pick, and the results have been nothing short of astonishing.
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Breaking News...

Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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